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Ayr 2004

The 18th Golf Holiday saw us back near where it all started on the west coast of Scotland.  The team assembled at lunchtime on Wednesday the 1st of September at the Horizon Hotel in Ayr.  The largest ever turnout meant we had a full compliment of 12 this year.  The old hands (in more ways than one) were Gavin, Tony, Keith, Fritz, Stef, Andy, Davie, Dave A and Steve.  Alan made a very welcome return bringing with him Roger - a new boy (but one who goes back a long way).  The dozen was completed by Dave Keen making his third appearance.

Another anniversary was duly noted - it was 30 years since Andy, Stef and Fritz started at the Watt!!  It is frightening to think where all the years have gone.  Fritz, Stef and Andy have not changed at all in the last thirty years - they all looked 50 in 1974!

The first item on the agenda was to sort out Gavin's handicap.  Having won the room competition for the last 5 years it was time strong measures were taken and he was duly cut to 14.  Gavin took this reduction like the man he is - screaming, crying, stamping his foot etc.

Then followed the room draw.  Dave K got he short straw getting an emasculated Gavin, closely followed in misfortune by Roger who in his first full outing was paired up with Davie!  The society's two 'hot shots' Andy and Keith were paired together and were immediately pronounced as strong favourites for the room comp. Alan and Steve looked to be a good bet but the rank outsiders were the pairings of Fritz and Tony and Stef and Dave.

The first round of golf was at Dalmilling GC in the centre of Ayr.  This was a fairly open parkland course and an easy start for the week.  The best score (for the Roos-on-Sea mug) was by Alan with 40 points just beating Steve's 39.  Davie announced he would be presenting a prize for the worst stableford score.  To everyone's surprise this was won by Keith with one of his worst rounds ever on a golf holiday.  He had 28 points the same as Gavin and Stef - but won (or lost) on countback.  The prize turned out to be a Celtic shirt (well actually a Santos of Mexico shirt - but it looked exactly like a Celtic shirt) but as Davie couldn't find it, Keith was not obliged to wear it that night! 

Thursday meant a longish drive down to Girvan GC, a part links, part parkland course.  The form men were still Alan and Steve with Steve coming out on top this time to win the golf video prize donated by Tony.  The afternoon was a three ball scramble competition for the Glen Fiddich baseball caps presented by Keith.  Obviously not wanting to give these caps away Keith picked the strong team of Roger and Dave K.  The three of them simply dismantled the course reaching the turn in an astonishing 27 shots!  They couldn't quite maintain this form on the back nine but still returned a score of 59!  Easily good enough to be capped Glen Fiddich Champions.

This point was the pinnacle of Dave K's week as the handicap of sharing a room with Gavin started to take it's toll!  Having stated that he had had a good night's sleep on the Wednesday night, the continuous assault of snoring and farting meant that that was to be his last!

Friday morning, at the delightful course of Belleisle, saw us reach the main event of the week - the Room Competition.  Sleep deprivation combined with partial asphyxiation had severely weakened Dave K - this combined with Gavin's slashed handicap resulted in the demise of the champion.  After five consecutive victories Gavin was at last de-throned. Victory went to that most unlikely of pairs - Stef and Dave A. However, one tradition was carried on - that of Andy losing on countback.  Both Stef and Dave and Keith and Andy had scores of 36, but a superior inward nine secured it for the outsiders!  The favourites having blasted out in 23 points completely blew-up on the back nine.  Well done Stef and Dave.  As usual the rest of the scores were not far away with a couple of 33s a 32 and a 30.  Well done handicapping team.

In a very unusual occurrence the society joined for lunch by a woman!  Not just any old woman - but a very specific old woman - Dorothy!  It was lovely to see Dorothy and to chat about old times. Unfortunately she had to leave before she could watch us tee off for the afternoon round - which spared us some embarrassment!  The afternoon round was a four ball scramble - with limited drives per person.  Keith's group had used up his drives by the 5th hole!  In another triumph for the handicappers all of the teams finished on the same score (one under par).  However, special congratulations should be given to the team of Roger, Alan and Fritz who only played with three in their team as Davie withdrew to fill out his tax forms (and to relieve the blistering between his legs!).

Friday night and out on the town.  A pub crawl of some of Ayr's high spots quickly saw us in an old fashioned pub drinking Guinness and having a singsong to some classic 60's music -  followed by being evicted by the police at 1.00 am.  How I miss the good old days!

Saturday and off to Royal Troon (site of this year's Open) - or at least a look at the clubhouse from a 100 yards away.  At 170 pounds a round it was a bit outside the society budget!  We played Troon Darley, a tight links course with lots of blind shots and plenty of gorse bushes (which now contain loads of our golf balls!).

In a new innovation we had the inaugural Osnaburg Ryder Cup (new name required please) with Scotland taking on England.  As there were 7 people claiming Scottish loyalties and only 5 English, Stef was kind enough to lay aside his prejudices and join the English for the day.  Keith and Gavin as the two captains carefully picked their teams and the matches were as follows (Scottish names first):  match 1 - Fritz vs Stef, match 2 - Andy vs Steve, match 3 - Roger vs Keith, match 4 - Gavin vs Dave K, match 5 - Davie vs Dave A, match 6 - Alan vs Tony.

Performing heroically for his adopted country, Stef came out on top 3 and 1 in a tight match against Fritz (well done old chap!). Andy demolished Steve by a dogs licence 7 and 6. Keith came through with a strong back nine to beat Roger 4 and 3. Dave K just held off a resurgent Gavin (who came back from 3 down with 4 to play to be level on the 18th tee) to win by one hole. A triumph for Scotland (and Johnson's Baby Powder) was achieved when Davie comfortably beat Dave A. Another tight match saw Alan scrape through against Tony.

Result:  Scotland 3, England 3.  Match drawn.

A fair result and faces saved all round.  Again congratulations to the handicappers.

Another night out on the town allowed us to watch a different English team achieve the same result with a draw against Austria.  Strangely there must have been a visiting party of Austrians in the pub if the cheering greeting the Austrian goals was anything to go by!

And then it was Sunday morning and time to go home.  Another golf holiday had simply flown by in a blur of golf balls and beer!  A last blether with the lads, a final chat about the venue for next year (to be totally ignored by Keith!) and then home.  They think it's all over - it is till next year!

KD