| When are cooks mean? | When they beat the eggs and whip the cream. | |
| When does an astronaut stop to eat? |  |
When it's LAUNCH time. |
| When doesn't it matter if a sailor can't swim | When he's not in the water. | |
| When is a car not a car? | |
When it turns into a driveway. |
| When is a farmer mean? | When he pulls the ears off the corn. | |
| When is it dangerous to be hit on the head by a tomato? | |
When it's still in the can. |
| When it's raining cats & dogs, what can you find on the ground? | Poodles. | |
| Where do dates grow? | |
On a calendar tree. |
| Where does a sheep get a haircut? | At the baa-baa-shop. | |
| Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? | |
On the bottom. |
| Which animal is always laughing? | A Happy-Potamus. | |
| Which is faster---hot or cold? | |
Hot---You can catch a cold. |
| Which side of a bird has the most feathers? | The outside. | |
| Who had the largest family in the world? | |
George Washington, the father of his country. |
| Who is history's most famous bandit? | Atlas! He held up the world. | |
| Why are elephants wrinkled? | |
Did you ever try to iron one? |
| Why did the alien take soap into space with him? | In case he ran into a meteor shower. | |
| Why did the baby strawberry cry? | |
Because his mother was in a jam. |
Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? |
He wanted to go to high school. | |
Why did the chicken cross the road? |
|
She wanted to get to the other side. |
Why did the farmer put bells on his cow?. |
Because the horns didn't work? | |
Why did the girl sit on her watch? |
|
She wanted to be on time. |
Why did the traffic light turn red? |
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street. | |
Why didn't anyone play cards on Noah's Ark? |
|
Because Noah sat on the deck. |
Why didn't the horse draw a cart? |
It couldn't hold a pencil. | |
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? |
|
He didn't have the guts. |
Why do birds fly south for the winter? |
Because it's too far to walk. | |
Why do firemen wear red suspenders? |
|
To hold up their pants. |
Why do lions eat raw meat? |
They don't know how to cook. | |
Why does a hummingbird hum? |
|
Because he doesn't know the words. |
Why don't bears wear shoes? |
So they can go BEAR-foot. | |
Why is a math book sad? |
|
It has so many problems. |
Why is space so noisy? |
Because of all the shooting stars! | |
Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle? |
|
Because of all the cheetahs. |
Why was 6 afraid of 7? |
Because 7, 8, 9. (seven ate nine) | |
Why was the theater crying? |
|
The seats were all in tiers. |