Purchasing your poor little rich girl


Facetious Hardcore suggests you put on Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl" as you read this

Lately I've had to look at a lot of these latex love doll sites, and I'd thought I'd encountered all the variations possible: black, white, asian, animal, fat, thin, latex, inflatable, and those based on actual porn stars. Then I encountered this:

She is your dream girl. She has uptown tastes but downtown needs. She is a life size doll that is well taken care of.The rich bitch love doll has long legs and curvaceous hips, silky hair and three bitchin' holes. Enter her mouth, ass or vagina for repeated ecstacy!

That's right this doll is independently wealthy. This doll helps the blue collar slob realize his erotic class-crashing fantasies. How? It looked like any other doll to me, minus a string of pearls which may have been included or may have just been a serving suggestion (like the mashed potatoes shown on Gardenburger's vegeterian meatloaf boxes). Maybe the latex is soaked in Khiels.

This included narrative all seems rather superfluous considering that the very idea of a latex love doll requires a strong suspension of belief to begin with. I've never used one, but I have thrown around a beach ball. It's a leap to think it flesh, and I would think once you'd made it that far you could well imagine her as anything, for richer or for poorer.

But in porn it's not the actuality that's interesting, but the earnest presentation of fantasy, and the perceived need on the part of the consumer. From romance novels to rock songs to films (Danielle Steel, the Rolling Stones, and Loverboy respectively) class transgressions have a remarkable appeal. Sex is the great social equalizer. In these narratives the rich men are incapable of providing a good shag, so the women slum about and get it on with the woodsman, the auto mechanic, or the scrappy rocker. The uptown girl gets laid, gets the thrill of transgression, and the downtown boy gets sex, but he also gets a meal. He gets to trespass and stick it to the man. He never has to buy her dinner. He never has to buy her at all.

Unless she's a love doll. Then you even have to pay her transportation (in the form of shipping and handling) and maybe even tax. And she won't take you out for fillet mignon or give you her husband's watch. So where is the appeal then? In the end some corporation has taken your money, while you jack off with an inflated fantasy of class equalization.

And really, if that kind of thing turns you on, there's always the Bush tax plan. Either way you'll have to watch for the "trickle down."

Posted: Mon - November 17, 2003 at 06:24 PM      


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