Executive Summary: Things did not go as well as possible underneath Darthis.

85 Spring

Oakmoss

Annah was itching to go to Darthis. Alas, others desired to hunt and kill the elusive druid. Problem be: it was physically impossible to track him. Mordrick got the idea to speak with a local animal about the matter. This resulted in us finding a tree with a fort in it.

We ascended to it and were promptly attacked by trained animals! Sanke! Bear! The bear was the druid! He surrendered just before death. His protestations were most pronounced but they were ignored.

However, he did point out that we were a lawless band of thugs acting without authority.

Eventually, he was delivered to the Fortress of Martial Justice. Then, we made our statements. A magistrate was needed so we volunteered to fetch one ourselves in Darthis. We set out immediately after securing 10 gp each for travel expenses from the town.

86 Spring

Darthis

Magistrate thus sent, we went about looking for ways to earn cash. The winner: Ruins under the city! Goal: Four corpses: Lord Arian worth 500,000 gp! His sister, worth 400,000 gp! The rest was a list of 27, each worth much less. Lisa Marie copied the list. With that, we went dungeoning!

Annah died! She tried to disarm a trapped door but was burned beyond recognition instead. Lisa Marie and I went and got a pick and a bag of salt for Annah. We returned and I began picking through the door, getting burned, and avoiding a basilisk. Annah returned to us alive, though I'm not quite sure how.

The basilisk got out!

Quotes

"It's some sort of land pirate. That's what I call bandits."

"What about a snake talking about his man friend?"

"Rabbits don't like being stereotyped, you know."

Shaggy mountain pony."
"What?"
"I though the descriptor was a verb."

"Soylent brown is squirrel!"

"I'm sorry, your response is at varyance with the truth."

"Are you militia?"
"We're elaborating on an offhand remark."

"With pixie dus and ground dirt."
"Ground dirt?"

"There's a movie called Fear of Clowns coming out. I don't know what it's about."

"One day, I will eat your shins."

"He's feeling her up with his words."

"We like Rosemary. Her companion though . . . ."
"Rosemary's tossed 100% fewer rooms."
"I tell you, that cleric's evil."

"Sausage, saurkraut, chicken, and strawberry milk do not mix."

"I can't help it. I always laugh when you talk about your thieves tools being stolen."
"It is funny."

"Half rations 'till you die."

"We're not in Chicago—you don't get to vote."