"I'm a site-specific extrovert." - Mike Meyers

"I have always despised the popular charts. I feel that the American charts are from a completely different planet, really. And I think you can exist in certain circles of music, and you can exist very well and very happily without having anything to do with those people and those executives and participate in all that dreadful payola. All that type of thing is so absent from my world, really. Many people in America can't play live because they're completely financially backed, and the reality is that people don't actually like them. But they seem to be enormously popular. It must be a terrible shock to people who are #3 on the charts that they can't attract anybody at all to a live appearance." - Morrissey

"Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst f***** sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater. A Cosssssssby sweater! Did Laura let you leave the house like that?" - Barry, High Fidelity

"Okay. This is pretty incredible. Business card. Something you might, you know, hand out. Like, for instance, 'Hello, I'm a Rhine Com net supervisor, how are you?' In German, of course. Because English would probably give you away. But the genius, the achievement, is this. Even Sony would be like, 'Well, Marshall, this is pretty cool.'" - Marshall, Alias

"What's the French word for 'stakeout?'" - Conklin, The Bourne Identity

"Whoa." - Neo, The Matrix

"What Po doing?" - The Teletubbies

"RIP CITY!" - Letterman on the internet

"I want to be a despot!" - Christie

"...we got a bump coming up." - Jason Bourne, The Bourne Identity

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" - Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

"Vis-a-vis..." - a professor that will remain nameless

"The thing that drives me and my colleagues at both Apple and Pixar is that you see something very compelling to you, and you don't quite know how to get to it, but you know, sometimes intuitively, it's within your grasp. And it's worth putting in years of your life to make it come into existence." - Steve Jobs

"Oh, sure. But it's easy to give a name to something. It's hard to make it good." - Steve Jobs

"It's a special time in a young girl's life to get dressed up, dance, get drunk and have to fight off their no-neck boyfriend."
- Ash

"Britain conquered the world with the cunning use of flags!:
'I claim India in the name of Britain!'
'You can't do that! We live here! There are 500 million of us!'
'... but do you have a flag?...'
'We don't need a flag! We live here!'
'Well... NO FLAG, NO COUNTRY! You can't have one!! ... Cause those are the rules... that I made up... just now...'"
-Eddie Izzard

"First, it was, 'I'm gonna die young,' then it was, 'I'm gonna die youngish.' And then she was like 80 and it was, 'Apparently I'm not dying young.' " - Gilmore Girls Creator, Amy Sherman-Palladino on Dorothy Parker

"Do you think the neurological effects of caffeine are similar to that of cocaine?"
- Des, "The Last Days of Disco"

"I'd rather make things out of straw than work a 9 to 5 job."
- Cara

"We're big on death songs"
- Sarah Cracknell on St. Etienne

"The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done." - Rob Gordon, High Fidelity

"You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants"
- Eddie Izzard

You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your f**king khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
- Tyler Durden, Fight Club

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."
- Jerry Seinfeld

"All in history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending" - Dorothy Parker to the esteemed Mr. Goldwyn.

"This show is becoming more like Vibe."- Conan O'Brien

"A lot of people won't take no for an answer. I wanted you to know that I'm not one of them. I can be discouraged."
- Josh, "The Last Days of Disco"

"Go with Karl's god." - Sara

"You're a special boy with chains and stuff." - Willow of Buffy fame

"When you start with dissapointment, everything else is a pleasant suprise"
- Lloyd Dobbler

"MTV is on another dreary song / 20 after 2 and I'm at a loss / Cause the hotel bar is closed / I walk across the road / Sound of Radio Boston makes me smile / And in a while" - St. Etienne

"Ooh, / what are you thinking of? / Boy, what are you dreaming of?" - St. Etienne

"That thing `miserabalism' is just a big lie. People say `if you're depressed; listen to Morrissey's gothic, gloomy music.' Just look at my audience, they are very healthy and are not gloomy people. They just want to listen to a human voice, and that's me." - Morrissey

"I wanna do great things / I don't wanna compromise" - Echobelly

"I just heard the new Oasis single and it went... don't go away / say that you'll stay / forever and a day... and I thought, did he really sing those words? But he did and it is beyond me. And I thought of a song from the 70's with Teach-In called "Ding-A-Dong" that went sing a song every hour / when you're in the shower / maybe it's a big hit. And I just can't for my life hear the difference between "Ding-Ding-Dong" and Oasis. If there is I hope to discover it one day."- Morrissey

"Dammit! It's my turn to say dammit!" - Daria Morgendorffer

"Hanson blows." - Donald Trump

"on sugar smile savvy / the king of the kerb / got a temper in the style of a bomb / got his friends in his pockets" - Echobelly

"A live appearance has to be very demonstrative. People want a kick, they want to let loose. And I'm both fascinated and touched by the fact that they want to knock down the stage, want to throw themselves violently, want to touch me. That's more than you can say of the Rolling Stones. I was shocked when I watched them on TV. Nothing happened, nobody wanted to touch the Stones. And they themselves are of course absurd: Jagger imitating Jagger and the rest of them looking like they were buried 12 years ago. The Rolling Stones are an after-death experience, the ultimate freak-show. They should be locked in cages at a circus, being fed with bananas, and covered by a blanket at night." - Morrissey

"Welcome back. I'm Serena Altchul." - Janeane Garofalo on Indie Outing

"Oasis are the Spice Girls on drugs." - Damon Albarn

"Sweetwaters or Denny's? Denny's or Sweetwaters?" - Ash

"on here it comes the fools parade / another clueless masquerade / and they're way too slow / they miss the space / and they're way too slow / get out of my way / go away! / here we go on sucker's ride / hearts and minds are paralyzed / and they're way too stupid / they'll be just fine / yes they're way too stupid / a waste of time" - Echobelly

"I haven't had a toenail since 1968." - Charles Pratt

"I'm Daria Morgendorffer. I love to see the first bloom of a wild rose, to smell the salt spray of an ocean breeze, to hear the laughter of little children at play. On no, wait, that's somebody else."
- Daria Morgendorffer

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."
- Janeane Garofalo

"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." - Oscar Wilde

"I began to go a little cross-eyed / and from this charmless man I just had to hide" - Blur

"We just have to walk on stage with the understanding that it might end up a complete and utter mess, despite our best intentions." - Morrissey

"Don't Wu Tang Clan me." - Janeane Garofalo

"Just think how much you're gonna be missing. You don't have Nixon to kick around any more." - R.M.N

"Well, I guess I'd like my whole family to do something together. Something that'll really make them suffer." - Daria Morgendorffer in Esteemsters

"Graham fans seem to be really fucking mad. Alex fans just seem to be mad. The classic fanbase that like Damon are completely fine. I just seem to attract absolute nutters." - Graham of Blur on 'faves'

"No. Debbie Gibson. Did you know she had her own shop in Tokyo selling her cosmetics range? But it's shut down now. It's all gone horribly wrong for Debbie..." - Bob Stanley of Saint Etienne

"We all have a dark side; it's bullshit to say we don't." - Sarah McLachlan

"Give us a drink / and make it quick / or else I'm gonna be sick / sick all over / your frankly vulgar / red pullover" - Morrissey

"Be extremley subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate." - Sun-tzu, The Art of War

"The telephone's a terrorist." - Frente!

"I was 'violently ejected'." - Ash

"I think I'd rather kill myself than listen to a Hootie and the Blowfish record." - Damon Albarn

"Is it wrong not to always be glad ? No, it's not wrong - but I must add / How can someone so young / Sing words so sad ?" - Morrissey

"I need some distraction / oh, beautiful release. / memory seeps from my veins / let me be empty. / Well, weightless and maybe / I'll find some peace tonight" - Sarah McLachlan

"Can you rig that glue gun to shoot bullets? I'm ready to end my suffering."
- Daria Morgendorffer

"He'll [Andy Richter] start talking about sacrificing babies or diarrhea, and I'll scream things into the microphone at my desk, trying to hurt the guy's ears in the booth." - Conan O'Brien on rehearsal tactics

"Others sang your life / but now's your chance to shine / and have the pleasure of / saying what you mean." - Morrissey

"It's like channeling. Something kicks in. When you're in the zone, you don't know where it comes from, but it's like being in the eye of a storm -- you're calm, but all these things are primed." - Robin Williams on creativity

"Diplomacy: the art of saying 'nice doggie' until you find a rock." - Will Rogers

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb

"I've got this great idea / Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin f***** Mint / Fine pewter portraits of General Apathy / And Major Boredom singing / Whatever and ever amen" - Ben Folds

"All warfare is based on deception." - Sun-tzu, The Art of War

"I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." - Daria Morgendorffer in Pinch Sitter

"Don't blame me, I voted against them all." - Anonymous

"What do YOU do? / Well ... you just SIT THERE" - Morrissey

"You're a punk O.J. A bad guy. Go to hell." - Dennis Miller

"I'd love to stay here and be normal but it's just so overrated." - Blur, Tracy Jacks

"I know I've reached the stage where other artists would bleach their hair or buy a fancy costume, but, inexcusably, I can only be me, which is a full-time occupation and causes terrible backaches. But there's a famous quote in Hardy's Far From the Madding Crowd where Bethsheba Everdene says, 'I shall be breakfasted before you are afield. In short, I shall astonish you all.' It has no relevance, of course, but I honestly believe that once they've raked away all the nonsense, I'll still be here." - Morrissey

"The reality is that Oasis are the same as the Spice Girls -- simple, accessible, popular music. In fact, the Spice Girls have sold more than Oasis now, so they can't even hold on to being the biggest-selling act in Britain." - Damon Albarn

"I don't have low self-esteem, I have low esteem for everyone else." - Daria Morgendorffer

"What is Apple, after all? Apple is about people who think 'outside the box', people who want computers to help them change the world, to help them create things that make a difference, and not just get a job done." - Steve Jobs

 

Because Morrissey Told Me To | Reader Meet Author | Ms. Moneypenny's Desk | LOMO!

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