Sun - December 7, 2003

Two thoughts


In which Mike has... [surprise!]

[Edit: that's 'bias in the face of inhabiting friends', not what I originally published. Apologies to all concerned, mainly me, who can no longer take me quite seriously.]

Thought one:

Noticed this evening that I cannot help but observe much of life with a raised eyebrow. Then thought perhaps this is Valid, as it's possible that Life occurs with a raised eyebrow. Much would be hereby explained.


Thought Two:

Floor in the flat only shakes when double-deckers go past. Admittedly less profound (not that Thought One scored very highly, but.)


Thought Three:

[Hey, it's my blog, criticise at your own peril] Loughborough not nearly as bleak as painted. In fact broadly pleasing (although confess to bass in face of inhabiting fiends).

This week I have had proper Nürnberger Glühwein at Kateandwendyandjenny's, finally seen The Nightmare Before Christmas, had good chats, been to Loughborough and seen lovely K & D again, had a highly filling and pretty darn good Sunday lunch, been on a train that was on time and comfortable, had good Thai twice, cooked a successful Mahshi Cousa Bi Mishmish (yes, I gave gay men a dinner entitled, "Courgettes Stuffed with Meat"; insert your own caption here) and done some work which, well, worked, and read a good book (The Rules of Attraction). What a week! Correspondence courses from the Mike School of Social Success may soon be available. Or I may suffer another amusing attack of Foot-in-Mouth Disease. Though I fear there's still no taking Jo's "He needs a short, shark shop." Good night.

At this rate I'll be published before the year is out, without even having had to go to the trouble of writing anything. O joy!

Posted at 10:59 PM     Read More  


Thu - October 30, 2003

Return of the Mac


In which Mike comes to grips with shiny things, and ponders.

I am returned, my mac is upgraded to Panther, I've left work early and am now completely at a loss. What do you people do with your lives?

Tomorrow night, I am going to Tumkin and Poopypants's Goodbye Drinks in town (Heaven help them, they chose those for each other...), followed by Wee Em's Scary Hallowe'en party. Since this means going straight from work to town, and straight from town to Darkest Hampshire, I am trying to come up with a mode of attire which will fulfil work, smart casual bar, and "Hallowe'en" specifications.

I fear this may involve concealed ruches, velvet, and some darn careful work with eyeliner on the train. The only problem being that I've lost my Rimmel Inkwell and I'm bothered if I'm learning to use something else now... so I shall have to get some in town before T&P's, only this means I will have to be late and apologise a) that I'm late because I had to buy eyeliner and b) I shall have to leave in ten minutes to get to the home counties dressed as a pumpkin before 8.30pm.

Cinderella never had it like this, you know.

Who am I to complain that I have a frothy social life filled with bubbly social interaction with charming, sensitive and intelligent people (present company excepted if it wishes to excuse itself from my value system)? I'm sure there are starving millions who'd love a pink gin or five... though I am in danger of gaining a sense of perspective occasionally.

Today's link of newness? Anyone looking for Bum Pražské gardy will find it here. Blessed be, O Wendy.

Posted at 07:37 PM     Read More  


Tue - October 14, 2003

Let Jag


In which Mike fluhhhhh.
Edited 23:12 10th October 2003

I have now been awake for 38 hours on 3 hours' sleep. The clock says 11pm, my bodyclock says 6pm, and my eyes say "Ow! Who's throwing grit?"

I have had an unsatisfactory half-day at work to which I rushed for, it transpires, no good reason whatever, came home and got bills to deal with and the washing (EDIT: I obviously mean "rubbish" here, all right? I would have thought that was self-evident, for Pete's sake.) to take out, found that before I went I'd decided to air my mattress and had thus completely stripped the bed... and now I want to sleep, am wide awake, knackered, incoherent, and have no bedding.

Maybe I should sleep on the sofa. Maybe the sofa should sleep on me? No, that would be silly. This reminds me of something... got one of those questionnaires that asks you what colour socks you're wearing, etc. and encourages you to send it to world & dog as if these might be interested in your sock colour... anyhow, quotation in full is:

51. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
"Noise. Bad. Make noise stop. What is noise. Noise is box. Box is radio. Why is radio? Morn... ugh. Stop noise. Make box be not radio. Hit box. Box stop. Noise go. Why not dark? Morni... ugh. Why not clean? Not shower. Make shower be. Where shower? Not here. Where here? Here warm. Why be not here? Morning..... ugh." More or less.
but then again...
52.ANYTHING ELSE/ QUOTES?
"No this isn't me, it's just my motor running"
Denise Riley, "When It's Time To Go"

Oh, and on the theme of being elderly and irritable, I found a cheering book in the states called "The Portable Curmudgeon". Will now have to start using the word 'curmudgeon' in polite conversation, subtly, until someone thinks to apply it to me, which I will probably enjoy. Sigh, planning one's pleasures is such a trying thing.

Posted at 11:10 PM     Read More  


Sun - September 28, 2003

FriendsReunited and the Ridiculous


In which Mike ponders the nature of public truth

Browsing idly on FriendsReunited (is there any other way to browse?) I came across a name I barely remembered. The member notes associated?

Left school with no examinations and got into trouble with the Police soon after. Fortunately I was befriended by a reformed lesbian biker and we are now happily married with five children.
I discovered thr Lord a few years ago and I am now a trainee priest in ------------. Would love to hear from friends at school - You won't believe how much I've changed!

Now, I know my notes for a while said I was herding spleen whales in Fiji, but that's just harmless fun. This is much nearer the edge -- it's just possible that this chap is absolutely dead serious. My inclination is always to laugh amusedly at this kind of thing, but so often I end up finding that I'm just laughing at what genuinely occurred, which is a much less comfortable moment than a self-congratulatory cackle at the pinnacle of normality I have attained compared to the various freaks the world has to offer; besides which it often offends, and that's only rarely my intent.

So how far should I believe this? Details of place, as omitted above, seem to lend an air of credibility - fakes are never specific, it's always "someone's friend" and so on -- but I can't help but think that the school I was at scarcely equipped one for the company of 'reformed' lesbian bikers. Depends, I suppose, exactly how one means 'reformed'. Besides which, they'd have had to start breeding pretty swiftly to get the count up to five, unless there're multiple births involved. Oh, all is confusion!

... which was probably the intent, in which case it's succeeded. But maybe....

If everyone had an easily-locatable internet presence, this sort of thing would be easy to authenticate. And humorous though those "I am now a fish in Botswana" entries on FR are, I can't help but think about how far they rely on you already knowing the person as a bit of a joker, or someone on the edge likely to convert to a monotheistic religion overnight, in order to know how they're to be read. I'm not sure whether this proves that the Author isn't really Dead at all, or whether it demonstrates that s(he) has never really been around in the first place.

... and another thing, why don't my puzzlements get more profound than this? I've had a good night's sleep and some healthful tidying and pottering, and feel mildly cheated.

Back to Lethem.

Posted at 06:02 PM     Read More  


Sat - September 27, 2003

... of which more later


In which Mike is captivated by Jung.

If I may, dream 20 of the Mandala dreams from Jung's Psychology and Alchemy. May I draw your attention to the wonderful final sentence.

Dream 20:
There are two boys in a cave. A third falls in as if through a pipe.

The cave represents the darkness and seclusion of the unconscious; the two boys correspond to the two unconscious functions. Theoretically the third must be the auxiliary function, which would indicate that the conscious mind had become completely absorbed in the differentiated function. The odds now stand 1 : 3, greatly in favour of the unconscious. We may therefore expect a new advance on its part and a return to its former position. The "boys" are an allusion to the dwarf motif, of which more later.

How great is that? "... The dwarf motif, of which more later." What the respected Dr. Beadle would have called, "somewhat decontextualized," that is -- completely without anything to support it at all -- save one lonely "of which more later". The whole seems to me to be rather lopsided. I'm thinking of Douglas Adams' award for "the most gratuitous use of the word 'fuck' in a serious screenplay" of a sudden....

Posted at 12:31 AM     Read More  


Fri - September 26, 2003

Acid Green Perfection


A brief welcome...

An experiment in blogging; since everyone else seems to be at it, seems a shame to miss the party. Will it be read? I doubt I'm sufficiently dutiful to keep it updated, but here we are: a rainy evening, taking a break from My Beautiful Laundrette, the film which left a generation unable to spell a civic amenity, and I'm starting a blog. A quotation, why not:

No this isn't me, it's just my motor running
- Denise Riley, 'When it's time to go', Mop Mop Georgette

Wrap your literary tonsils around that one.

Posted at 11:00 PM     Read More  

©