How comcast ruined thanksgiving.



I have been cut off from the voices of the Gods.
I do almost all my business online, I communicate primarily via email, I do all my bills online, we collaborate musically online, I shop online. I live online. Shoot, my phone is online. I have vonage.

So I'm getting ready to move into a new house, which will become camp superchick for the next record. Fortunately, Comcast is already delivering cable and internet to the current owners, so all the wiring is in place. Comcast isn't cheap, with basic cable and internet coming to well over $100 a month. Owie. The only other option is DSL through bellsouth which when combined with DirectTV requires a 2 year commitment. Most of the girls I've dated will tell you I have commitment issues. Comcast supposedly has 11 million subscribers, so my guess is Comcast grosses five hundred million dollars a month or more. Full disclosure: Through an AT&T merger, I own some Comcast stock.

So I'm set to move on monday the 13th. Shouldn't be a big deal to switch the service into my name right? They're a technology company.

So here's the super short version:

Tuesday Nov 7th
Me: Hi, I'm moving into a new house and I'd like to order cable and internet, starting the 13th.
Comcast: (phone rep): We can't do that until you call the current account holder and have them call in a pending disconnect. Then, we can put in an order for an install.

Thursday Nov 9th
Me: Hi I got ahold of the account holder and they have a pending disconnect for Monday the 13th, now can I order an install, hopefully for the 14th?
Comcast: (different phone rep:) I can't do anything until the account is disconnected, try back on monday the 13th.

Friday Nov 10th. After 6 attempts in which I am disconnected because they are having phone problems, I finally get through.
Me: Hi, I was told I could schedule an install after there was a pending disconnect and I was really hoping to get an install scheduled early.
Comcast: No, we can't do anything till the account is disconnected, after that it may be 5 business days to schedule an install.

Monday the 13th. I try scheduling the install at comcast.com, since the phone system was so frustrating on friday. After you set up your order online, they connect you to a comcast rep who walks you through it via IM.
Me: OK, I've moved into the house, now can I please schedule an install.
Comcast: The account hasn't terminated yet, try back later today or tomorrow.

Tuesday the 14th
Me: I just want the internet, please take my money
Comcast: That address isn't scheduled to be terminated till the 17th. Try back then.

Friday the 17th.
Me: How bout now?
Comcast: Sorry, the termination hasn't gone through yet, try back later.
(I have witnesses for most of these, Lee Bridges was here for this one and saw it!)

Later on Friday or Saturday I'm not sure which.
Me: Can I get the internets please?
Comcast: Yes, the earliest I can schedule an install is Tuesday the 21st between 1:30-5:30
Me: I love you.

Tuesday the 21st, I arrange to be home all afternoon. 1:30, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30.
6:30. Me: I was just wondering if my installer was late.
Comcast: (phone rep): There is no record of an install at that address. I can connect you to a service rep who will schedule one for you.

At this point, I got connected to a girl, Kerri I think her name was, who was actually very sympathetic and tried to help me. She scheduled another install for saturday the 25th and said they'd waive the install fees. We'll see.

So after I started whining about this to other friends, I heard some other stories.

Buckley: Hi I just moved in, I'd like to order cable.
Comcast: Well, that address still has a past due bill, you can either pay it, or track down the previous tenants and make them pay it. Otherwise we can't start service.

or:

Breeon: Thanks for coming to install cable, this is a brand new house with brand new carpeting, could you please take off your shoes?
Comcast technician: No.

If you do an internet search, you get some very memorable quotes, I think my favorite was : "Comcast doesn't suck, it blows like a gale force wind."
Wow. It reminds me of an old joke. When do you stop wrestling with an 800lb gorilla?

When the gorilla's done.

Not to be entirely negative, here's a happy story.
We ate at the excellent Bucca di Beppos. We had the pochetta rustica. It's pork chops. It's awesome. We ate 2, had 2 boxed. The next day, we went to heat our 2 pork chops and found there was only one. Very strange. I have no idea why. I emailed the corporate website that sunday. On monday, I had an email in my box saying: We're really sorry, we forwarded this to your local buca's to take care of. Tuesday I get an email from local Buca from the manager saying they were very sorry, here's my cellphone number please call me. I didn't think it was worth complaining about, so I just thanked them for the response. A week later, I get an email from them saying they still feel bad, please can they send me a gift certificate. They sent me a $25 gift certificate. Wow. That's customer service. I'll eat at Buca lots now. Plus, the porchetta rustica really is excellent.

Now if only Buca's had internet service.
See ya next week when I have service again. Hopefully.

If you need me, call the cell, it's the only way.

UPDATE: After 3 hours and 3 different installers on saturday, I have internet, yay! Cable will have to wait till monday since my poor installer was sent out with the wrong cable box. We'll keep you updated on the conclusion to this dramatic saga. Thanks everyone for sending in your comcast stories... I'm sure Breeon will be glad that her Comcast installer wasn't like Dustin's since he tracked dog poop through the house after refusing to wear plastic slippers on his boots. I wonder if Steven used to live where Buckley does because Comcast billed him for 3 months after he'd moved out, despite his repeated calls to tell them he wasn't there anymore. They eventually sent him to collections, although maybe that just means they had Buckley call him.

Dan has never had a problem with comcast.

UPDATED UPDATE: Today, (monday) they said they don't have any cable boxes in stock, but I should check back tomorrow to see if I can go pick one up at the office. They also didn't hook up what I ordered, since now I have every channel on. I just wanted basic cable. I can't wait to sort out the billing for that. Tomorrow makes it 3 weeks from my first phone call to try to get comcast service.

UPDATED UPDATED UPDATE: On tuesday after I called again, there was a knock at the door and a tech hooked up my box. yay! However I still get a bunch of channels that don't go with basic cable, so I have a feeling there will be more calls to sort out what I ordered versus what I got. Still, I'm just glad to move on to other things... like say.. songwriting...

Posted: Fri - November 24, 2006 at 01:13 PM          

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