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Charky's Rules to be a Good Tough Bunny Slave
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Date: Sun, 25 Jan 1998 12:39:30 -0500
From: Cristina Forbes
Subject: How to be a good Tough Bunny Slave (was: Garbage or Is Charky a Bad Influence?)
To: Multiple recipients of list PETBUNNY <PETBUNNY@LSV.UKY.EDU>
Hi Auntie Jane,
The Charkster here,
Here are the rules you need to learn if you want to be a good Tough Bunny
Slave. Mom says that, if you want, she can send me FREE OF CHARGE to your
house to give you personal training. HAR-HAR
Let me know if you have any questions, Auntie Jane, I'll be happy to
demonstrate!
Charky
- - - snip - - - - rip - - - - chew - - - - munch - - - - rip - - - - snip - - - - rip - -
- - -
"How to be a good Tough Bunny Slave" by Charcoal, Jr. Tough Bun.
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(1) If a Tough Bun pees on the SO's bald head, a good Tough Bunny Slave
brings lots of treats to reward the Tough Bun because the SO needed a
shower badly.
(2) If a Tough Bun and the SO want veggies for dinner, a good Tough Bunny
Slave gives the SO the old tired wilted veggies and *hand feeds* the Tough
Bun the fresh organic ones.
(3) If a Tough Bun poops on the guest's lap, a good Tough Bunny Slave pats
the Tough Bun on the head and tells the guest that it's his/her fault
he/she sat on the part of the sofa *reserved exclusively* for Tough Bun
poops.
(4) If a Tough Bun wakes a bunny slave up at the wee hours of the morning
demanding breakfast, a good Tough Bunny Slave will wake up, bring the tough
bun their favorite treats and thank the Tough Bun for waking her/him up so
early so she/he can have more time to clean the Tough Bun's house.
(5) If a Tough Bun chews the computer cords, mouse, keyboard, monitor, etc,
a good Tough Bunny Slave is eternaly grateful to the Tough Bun because she
needed to buy another computer anyway.
(6) If a Tough Bun chews holes in the washer machine's hose and the entire
house gets flooded, a good Tough Bunny Slave is extremely happy because she
always wanted a pond inside the house.
(7) If a Tough Bun shreds the beds sheets and pees on the bed, a good Tough
Bunny Slave thanks the Tough Bun because she was very hot the night before
and she needed ventilation and cooling badly.
(8) If a Tough Bun chews the new and expensive piece of furniture like
Auntie Christine's brand new armoire, a good Tough Bunny Slave (are you
listening Auntie Christine??) is eternally grateful to the Tough Bun for
making that piece so incredibly unique, there is none like it!
(9) If a Tough Bun poops everywhere in sight, a good Tough Bunny Slave
feels really good to have been reminded that she/he needs to vaccuum.
(10) If a Tough Bun pees right *next* to the litter box, a good Tough Bunny
Slave understands that the Tough Bun does not want to go into a dirty
litter box and begs for forgiveness for having forgotten to clean the
litter boxes that day.
(11) If a Tough Bun eats the carpet and the padding underneath it, a good
Tough Bunny Slave is elated because she can now listen to the neighbors
better and she can practice the 9th hole of a golf course right at home.
(12) If a Tough Bun licks the paint off the walls, a good Tough Bunny Slave
realizes she always wanted to change the color of the wall anyway.
(13) If a Tough Bun munches the molding in the house, a good Tough Bunny
Slave tells all her friends that they have just had their house remodelled
by the best interior designer in town.
(14) If a Tough Bun sinks his/her teeth in the wooden window frames, a good
Tough Bunny Slave is very glad to know that the Tough Bun did this and
there are no termites in the house.
(15) If a Tough Bun rips holes in the expensive brand new dress/shirt the
beloved SO gave her/him for their 25th weeding anniversary, a good Tough
Bunny Slave thinks that the dress/shirt wasn't too fashionable anyway.
(16) If a Tough Bun lives in your home, a good Tough Bunny Slave always
worships the ground the Tough Bun hops on (even if it has smeared cecal
pellets).
- - - snip - - - - rip - - - - chew - - - - munch - - - - rip - - - - snip - - - - rip - -
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