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Charky & Ash's Advice to Oliver
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Date: Tue, 31 Dec 1996 20:52:42 -0500
From: Cristina Forbes
Subject: Mission for Oliver (Re: ANGEL GETS SPAYED!)
To: Multiple recipients of list PETBUNNY
Yo, Sir Oliver Rabbit,
Charcoal and Ash here,
> I have been trying to be a good bunny even though there have been lots of
> people I don't know in the house lately. They all like to pet me.
Why are you trying to be a *good* bunny? You need some Tough Bun lessons
real fast, Dude! Otherwise, you'll become a *meek* little "velcro"
hide-under-the-furniture bun. TSK-TSK...
We can teach you a few things if you want. We learned from the masters:
Uncle Crap (a.k.a. Crapper) and Uncle Bunni (a.k.a. Bunnicula, a.k.a
Silver). They are the King Tough Buns of PB. Though, now that they are
married, they are sort of into their own thing... if ya catch my drift?
*wink**wink*.
It is ok to let your slaves pet you to lull them into a "false sense of
security" (TM), as Uncle Crap taught us, then when they think you are all
nice, you show them who is the real boss of the house by chewing the
computer cord, or gnawing off the buttons on the TV remote control, or
whatever they like most, for example. HAR-HAR.
This could be your first Tough Bun Mission, Dude. Cover your trail by
strategically deploying your cecal pellets for maximum slave inter-toe
*squish*. This will ensure your success.
We hope to hear more from you! For pointers, call 1-800-TUF-BUNS and ask
for "The Chark".
Charcoal & Ash
Jr. Tough Buns
PS Watch PB closely over the next few weeks for an exciting new offer:
Tough Bun Motivational Tape #2.
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