Wednesday, October 12, 2000

That little homemade trailer at Shady Dell is the best, very cozy.  We get a great nights sleep, only to be awakened by the alarm at 6am.  Mary heads over to the shower, then catches up on email while Caryn showers and heads to Dot’s for one last pancake.   Mary skips breakfast because she’s feeling dizzy and nauseous.   Caryn begins the drive as we pull out of Shady Dell at 8 am, headed to New Mexico.   We encounter some road construction, but it’s not all bad, the woman directing traffic has a big smile for us, and waves us through with a "Carol Marol-like" gesture (are we in pageant country already?) .

After a quick bite for lunch, we’re ready for White Sands National Monument.   As we come up over a big hill on Hwy 70, we look down to the valley below, and are greeted by a sign that says “Welcome to White Sands Missile Testing Range - enjoy your stay.”  A little farther down the road we pass another sign that says “White Sands Missile Testing Range - Drive Carefully.”    It’s good to know that our government has a sense of humor.

We stop at the visitor center, and watch a short film about the white sand dunes, before paying our $6 admission and heading out to the scenic drive.  This place is really spectacular, and is best appreciated by taking off your shoes and running up and down the dunes.   The sand is gypsum based and very fine, cool on your feet.   We stop at several points along the scenic drive to get out and walk the dunes, and try to photograph.   It ain’t easy to get a good picture of these things.  Mary decides to give it a go with the Hasselblad, and Caryn uses the EOS.   By the time the sun sets, the sand has cooled down considerably, and Mary’s feet begin to feel a bit numb.   It’s time to head out, and find Oliver Lee State Park, where we’ll camp for the night.   We arrive at the park after dark, and set up in site #25, near the bathrooms, with water, electric, and a mouse for $14, which we’ll pay on our way out in the morning.  We use the Lynx Levelers to elevate the back of the van, since the site isn’t quite level. They work like a charm on the second attempt (Now we’ll see if that warranty is worth the paper it’s printed on).   It’s very windy, but we manage to make a barbeque, and cook up some turkey sausages and beans.   After dinner we retreat the the Eurovan, to get out of the wind, watch the season premier of “Law and Order”.   It’s amazing how cozy it is inside the van, with the wind blowing at least 20 mph outside.  When we wake up the morning we see what a beautiful place this is, with the canyon wall rising in front of us.   Mary works on doing dishes, and packing up, while Caryn heads over to shower.  She returns a half hour later with the announcement  “My shower only took 2 minutes, there’s a whole group in there, and I don’t know what they’re doing, they’ve got hair dryers, and winter coats all over the place.  They’re still in there primping.”   Mary heads to the showers next, and the primpers are still in there, steaming up the place.   She has to wait outside, until there’s an available shower.  

Once the mission is complete, we hop in the van, and make tracks for Carlsbad Caverns National Park.   It’s about a four hour drive, so there’s no time to stop at the shop advertising “Pecan shell figurines”.  Mary is determined to skip breakfast, and save her appetite for the “1950’s style lunchroom” at the bottom of the cavern, 750 feet below ground.   Caryn can’t hold out, and we stop at Sonic, where she gets a junior cheeseburger, and saves some room for a snack at the famed lunchroom.  On the long and winding road up to the visitor center, we’re driving behind an odd looking orange tour bus, that is extra tall in the back, and has three rows of windows. We pull into the parking lot near the Mercedes bus, and watch as the obviously German tourists exit.   We see that the 27 windows in back all have curtains, and we determine that these must be little sleeping compartments.   Caryn, along with some other curious Americans approach the bus, intent on quizzing the driver on his vehicle.   One brave woman asks a question, to which she receives a glare, and the retort “NO QUESTIONS!”   Skulking away, the woman mutters “We’re used to friendly people around here, asshole”.   

Since it is already 2 pm, and we’re anxious to get to that lunchroom, we skip the mile and a half hike down the natural entrance, and opt for the elevator to deliver us to the bottom of the cavern, 75 stories down.  We arrive at the fabled lunchroom, only to discover that it looks deserted. It’s not, but the only food they have is some frozen stuff that they pop in the micro.  We decide to skip the burritos which have 33 grams of fat, and Mary settles on a frozen pizza, which doesn’t have a nutritional label.  Caryn has some free crackers.   Needless to say, we’ve struck a mealtime low.   We head out with our audio players for the tour of the cavern.  It’s actually pretty cool; we see lots of interesting formations, including the “Breast of Venus”, which is amazingly lifelike.  After a few hours of walking around the “Big Room” of the cavern, which by the way is the size of 14 football fields, we head to the surface, for an obligatory swing through the gift shop.  At 5 pm we’re back at the van, and the orange Mercedes bus is still there.   While pondering our map to decide our next move, we witness a curious gentleman approach the bus.  He enters the stairwell, as we watchin amazement.   Caryn says “Hey, that guy’s talking to the bus driver.”  “He must be with the tour,” was Mary’s reply.  A moment later, the guy was standing at the Eurovan, telling us of his encounter with the driver. He had asked the driver a question, and the driver only responded with a glare.  The man then responded “I hope you have a miserable trip.”   So much for international good will.

We realize that our drive across Texas is going to be a long one, so we decide to get a jump on it by starting out tonight, eating some crackers with peanut butter as we go.    We drive and drive, tuning in the country stations to combat the boredom.   Night falls, and we’re still driving.   We stop at a Denny’s outside Midland, Texas, then hit the road again.   Around midnight the heavy rain and wind makes it miserable to go on, so we pull off at a truck stop in Sweetwater, Texas, home of the largest annual rattlesnake roundup (each April).   After some quick rearranging of the van, and a perusal of the store, we dash through the rain back to the van, to get some sleep.   We’re lulled to sleep by the sound of the diesels idling for the night.   Caryn sleeps thru the car alarm, which is set off by a particularly rumbley truck as it pulls off the highway.   We awaken at 9 am, amazed that we slept so late.   By 10 am we begin another long dreary day across Texas on I-40.   Around  1 pm we pass through Fort Worth, and spot the “Container Store” from the highway.   Mary suggests a quick stop.   We’re giddy to be in a metropolitan area after so much nothing in Texas.  We’re out of the car in a flash, and scouring the aisles for items we can’t live without.   Mary gets a duffle bag that will hold the screen house over the cab of the van, and also a small thing to hang hand washables on, while on the road. Caryn got a few items for use at home.   By this time it’s after 2 pm, and we need to ship our shot film to the lab.   Caryn prepares the bags, and the total is 99 rolls of 35mm chrome, 12 rolls of 120 chrome, and 7 rolls of print film.  Finally we find a place to ship it, and then it’s time for some food.   We hit Taco Bueno, a fast food place. Caryn’s assessment is “It’s no Taco Cabana”, but Mary feels the bean burrito is quite good, and “Taco Bell should be out of business.”   Then it’s over to Borders Books, so Mary can get a good dose of espresso, since there was none to be had at the truck stop this morning.

Driving, driving, driving, and we reach Texarkana in time for dinner.   We settle on a place called La Carreta.   Unbelievable!   This must be the payoff for the last however many miles of boring driving. After dinner we make it as far as Hope, Arkansas, which is the birthplace of President Clinton.   We check into the Economy Inn, and head up to room 202, with king bed, microwave and refrigerator, at the coupie rate of $29.99   We’re glad to be out of the van for a night, and stretched out watching TV.   Saturday morning we wake up at 10 am, and have a much needed shower.   Caryn arranges a late check out, and Mary reorganizes the van.   We pull out at noon, and Mary spots a faded sign for Smokehouse Barbeque.   Despite a somewhat dilapidated exterior, we decide to check it out.   We walk in, and encounter a friendly, peculiar looking woman (in her 30’s) with an unusually huge head, and lots of make-up, considering it’s been some time (hopefully) since her last pageant!   We order a large and small chopped pork sandwich.   As we wait to be served, Mary wonders why it could take so long for a sandwich.  Also, she notices that the big head woman is wearing a black bra, under a shear white blouse.  Well, it was worth the wait!   They slice and chop up up the pork when you order, then butter and toast the bun to perfection, and add just the right amount of sauce.   Caryn says “Miss Bernice Askew serves up the best barbeque I’ve ever had, or hope to have, in my life.”   Caryn was sad to leave, and spoke of her sandwich most of the day, until Mary begged her to shut up.

We’re back on the road, headed to Memphis, but need to make a stop at McDonalds for a quick sundae.   There we meet Ginger, the young woman cleaning tables.   She inquires as to what we’re eating, and when Mary confirms that it’s ice cream, she tells us that she had a car wreck in December of ‘88, but that God saved her life, and that when she came out of her coma, all she could eat was ice cream.   Now she eats about three gallons a week, but it has to be fat free.  

We decided to take a break from the interstate, and headed out on route 71.   We also were in search of a block of ice.   Caryn spotted an ice plant, but when we made a u-turn and pulled in, we saw a sign that said “specializing in red minnows”.   It didn’t look as if it was open to the public for ice, but they also had a sign advertising that they were a bail bond shop.   We drove on, and tuned in a great radio station featuring a southern preacher, talking about a yard sale, and turkey legs.   Every once in a while, his sidekick chimed in “Amen Pastor.”    We were quite sorry to travel out of range of this station.

Also while on route 71, we passed a cemetery, and pulling into it was a hearse, or more accurately a flower car, which was a modified Suburban.   All the cars in front and behind us pulled over to the side of the road, while the funeral procession passed.   We did likewise.  

After a time we rejoined the highway, and arrived at   Village Creek State Park, AK, site #38, near the restrooms, with water and electric. I think this was a tent site, but since there were many vacant sites, we took it anyway.   The picnic tables and fire rings at this park are directly behind the paved sites, so that they’re set back in the woods, making it very private.   We thought being near the bathroom was a prime location, but the first thing we experienced was a grandmother yelling outside the mens room, while her grandsons showered.   Later on, while we cooked dinner, we heard this woman and her extended family carrying on around their campfire, across the campground.   This being Arkansas, we couldn’t understand a word they were saying.   It kind of reminded me of my apartment in Franklin Square, when I lived beneath the family that had boisterous conversations in Italian.   Loud, but soothing, kind of like white noise.

Sunday morning, October 22, we pack up and leave the campground, headed to Tennessee, Memphis Tennessee, home of the King! On the way we pass a billboard in honor of Miss Tennessee.   Now we know we’re in serious pageant country.   

We arrive at Graceland around 1 pm, and begin our experience by sharing one of the Kings favorites, a grilled peanut butter and banana sandwich.   Not bad.   We head out with our tape decks to begin the one hour audio tour ($12 each).   By the time we reach the front door of Graceland, Caryn has determined that her tape is in Dutch, and exchanges it for an English version.   The tour was quite informative; we learned that Elvis had 17 TV sets at Graceland.   The tape was narrated in part by Priscilla Presley, and this may be why that while there were several references to the “Memphis Mafia” (the group of guys that hung around with Elvis), there was no mention of Anne Margaret at anytime during the 1 hour tour.   Graceland was surprisingly modest by todays standards, and the tape did point out that some of the decorating features, such as green shag carpeting were “in” in the 60’s- 70’s.   Yeah, right.

All in all the tour was much better than expected, although we did see a lot of scary characters walking around in Elvis shirts.   Caryn informed Mary at the end of the tour that Elvis’s middle name was misspelled on his tombstone, lending credibility to the theory that Elvis is still alive, and did not die at the age of 42, as he would have the world believe.   We easily fought off the urge to fork over some additional funds to view the inside of Elvis’s two planes, and automobile collection. After a stop for some postcards, it was back on the road to Nashville.

Having spent one night at a truck stop, there was only one thing left to do, spend a night in a Wal-Mart parking lot!  Before the trip began, Caryn had read an article in the Miami Herald that said Wal-Mart encourages RV’s to park in their lots over night, especially at the Super-Centers, which are open 24 hours.   So, we called Nashville information, and found out the location of the Super Center in Nashville.   We pulled off the interstate, and found a place for dinner, where Mary could get some hush puppies.  You can’t drive through the south and not have hushpuppies.   We settled on Uncle Buds, where we had catfish, ribs, and drank water from quart size mason jars.   We were stuffed, and too full for cobbler.   Then it was over to Wal-Mart, where we set up the van for sleeping, then headed inside to do some shopping.   An interesting aside, there was a custom coach also parked at Wal-Mart, with it’s generator running.   This is the type of coach that you sometimes see country singers traveling in.   They look like shinny versions of Greyhound buses, but usually with the windows blacked out, and have some sort of snazzy paint job.   It’s interesting to note that this type of coach sells for a minimum of $500,000.00, and the cost can easily be over 1 million dollars, and here they were “boondocking” at Wal-Mart, just like the less luxurious, but equally loved Eurovan.

This was our first time inside a Wal-mart Supercenter, which also includes a grocery store.   We wandered around for a while, then decided we better head back to the van, to see if “The Practice” was on at 9 pm Central time.   It was!   What a delight.   We watched the show from our cozy bed, then Caryn headed back inside to do some shopping.    How could she possibly sleep, being this close to a 24 hour Wal-mart?   After about an hour, Mary discovered Caryn’s wallet was inside the van.   Fearing that Caryn would head to the checkout with a cart full of God knows what, only to discover “My wallets gone!”, and be mortified; Mary trudged back into the store, wondering if she’d ever find Caryn.   Much to her delight, Caryn was right near the entrance, and to top it off, she had known she was without funds for about 45 minutes, hoping Mary would come to her rescue.   To repay the good deed, Caryn made Mary wander around the store with her, to show her a few things.   Finally, they headed to the van about midnight, and fell asleep watching TV.  

Caryn has no interest in Nashville, so Mary will have to return at some point in the future to view the Country Music Hall of Fame, and Grand Ole Opry.  

We’re on the highway, headed to Kentucky, to spend 3 nights at Cumberland Lake Resort State Park. Caryn had been here 15 years ago, and although she didn’t remember many of the specifics, she remembered that she had enjoyed it, and wanted to return.   While traveling down the highway, we see a billboard for Loretta Lynn’s Country Kitchen.   Having passed up a stay at Loretta Lynn’s campground the previous night in favor of Wal-Mart, Mary decides this is the place for lunch, for as the brochure quotes Loretta, “County cookin’ like my mama used to make.”   Well, one look at the buffet should have had us running for the door, but we stayed and ordered off the menu.   Caryn ordered Chicken ‘n’ dumplings, Mary going with the white beans served with onion and cornbread.   During the meal Caryn remarked “I feel bad for Loretta if her mama cooked like this.”   Enough said.

I’m really trying not to hold this against you Loretta.

Caryn decided she needed a McDonald’s sundae to get the taste out of her mouth.   A few exits later, we pull into McDonalds, and endure a painfully slow counter person, who finally takes our money and our order, and then announces in her Kentucky twang that “We ain’t gut na hyut fudge”.   We get our money back, and head to Sonic for our snack.   Then it’s back on the road, where Mary declares she’s had enough of country music, to which Caryn replies “How do you think I feel, I’ve hated it from the begining!” We arrive at Cumberland Lake, where we choose site #28, amongst the trees with their falling leaves.   We set up camp, and cook up some left over kielbasa and potatoes over the campfire, then it’s to bed, since we don’t get TV reception here.

Tuesday morning Mary does battle with the yellow jackets, while she cooks bacon, eggs, and home fries.   Then we have two separate groups of visitors who are interested in the Eurovan.

We decide to walk down to the lodge, to check things out.   On the way we pass the country store, and golf course.   The terrace of the lodge overlooks Cumberland Lake, and it’s a beautiful spot to sit and write some postcards.   We also decide to have lunch at the dining room, gorging ourselves at the buffet on an array of desserts, including chocolate cream pie, coconut cream pie, angel food cake, and a favorite of Elvis’s that we didn’t have at Graceland, Red Velvet cake.   Yeah, we had a salad too.   Caryn makes use of the good cell reception at the lodge to make some calls, and we’re even able to take the house phone off the wall, and call the AOL 800 number to pick up our email on the ipaqs.   Around 5 pm we head back to the campground, and spot 5 deer on the way. Later we have a light dinner of cup-a-soup.

Wednesday morning we have a relaxing day at the campsite, while Mary whiles away the time writing this chapter, and Caryn cooks up some macaroni and cheese with broccoli.   Exhausted from the ordeal of cooking and battling with yellow jackets and assorted bugs, Caryn is given relief from dish duty, and cheerfully heads off to buy a bag of ice.  

We plan a relaxing evening around the campfire, before heading out on Thursday to West Virgina, and Amy Floren’s.

Caryn has just announced that the van is infested with Lady Bugs, inside and out!   I hope she’s exagerating!

On to Chapter Eight!