It was 4 am Friday morning when my alarm went off. I had slept less then four hours, which made me hit the snooze button a couple of times before I half a sleep made it in to the shower. My last shower in three days. I finished my morning coffee and checked my e-mail for a last time before I put on my 66 pound back pack and headed towards my car. The steep hills of San Francisco gave me a nice little taste of what this trip was going to be about.

It was still dark outside when I started the 270 miles drive towards Mt: Shasta, but it didn’t take long until the sun was raising and I got inspired to take some pictures in the warm red morning light.

After about two hours of driving my lack of sleep was catching up and I was thinking of taking a break from driving and take a little nap. I drove into a gas station and got some breakfast and after that I didn’t feel so bad, so I continued driving instead of sleeping. After another hour or two my eyes started to get really heavy again. The thought of stopping for a nap wasn’t far away. Then... There I saw it sticking up. My mountain, my destination. The perfect weather conditions made it possible for me to see Mt: Shasta even though I had at least another hour left of driving. I got so exited of the view that my tiredness totally disappeared and I felt like the happiest girl on the road.

When i reached Mt: Shasta city I was ready to take off towards the mountain right away but for once I was thinking of doing things the way I was suppose to. I drove to the ranger station and got my permit that cost me $15. The Rangers told me that it was a really bad time of the year to try getting to the top. The lack of snow made the mountain in to a big hill of sand and lose gravel. Falling rocks was definitely to expect. Me, naive as usually thought he was talking to someone else and I could not find any reasons why it wouldn’t be possible to reached the top of Shasta. I got my permit and took a walk through the city of Mt: Shasta, It took me about ten minutes to walk from one end to the other though the city was consisting of one main street and a lot of spiritually people. I found I little cozy cafe were everybody inside seemed to know one another and I decided to have a light lunch there.

Around 1 pm I was at the one and only free parking spot around the mountain “Bunny flat”. I was surprised when I saw how empty it was, only a few cars were parked there. I had thought the forest should be crowded this time of the year when the air was super crisp and weather conditions like no other time of the year. Just when I was about to leave there was another car coming and parked next to me. It was a local guy some years older then me who was just going to do a little day hike up to Horse-camp and back.

I started to walk with my big back pack that weighed almost half of my own body weight and of course it didn’t take the local guy many minutes before he had cached up and passed me like a wind. When I came about half way up to Horse-camp he had stopped to take a break so I decided to do the same. When we sat there chatting a lonely mountaineer came down in full speed, he stopped to chat for a second with us. He told us that he and his other three friends behind him had tried to summit Shasta but hadn’t been able to do so, that was even though they had tried several different routes including the technical ones on the north face. I started to get a bit worried, though he was a guy in his early 30’s that looked like he was in really good shape and had equipment like he knew what he was doing.... and still had not made it. My self confidence got kind of weak. If he hadn’t made it then how the f..k was I suppose too make it. I got even more convinced that going to the top wasn’t going to happen for me this time when his friends walked by... They looked like they had just tried to climb Everest or something with all the equipment they were caring. They all took off but I stayed and rested for another five minutes, wondering what I was doing here.

When I started to walk again the trail got a bit steeper and I realized that going up to Helen’s lake with this back pack was not going to happen. Instead I readjusted my plans to have a sleep over at Horse-camp and leave all my stuff there the next day when I was going to go as far as I could up towards the top. I finally got to the Horse-camp, and sure enough the local guy whose name was Ryan was already there, enjoying the sun and his water. I sat down there too, and about fifteen minutes later we got some company from another lonely girl who’s name was Sylvia, she had been driving all the way from Seattle to hike in this wonderful nature. Sylvia was about ten years older then me and together the three of us sat there chatting about everything and nothing. Ryan headed back after a while and short after that Sylvia did too when it started to get dark, now I had the whole mountain to my self it felt like... well I did have some company from the cute golden-mantled ground squirrels that I invited for dinner.

I made some pesto pasta that I bought on sale at REI, tasted more then OK, then the sun disappeared totally and the only light I had was from the sky, not a single cloud and millions of stars.... Life couldn’t get more beautiful then this. I went in to my tent and fell asleep very fast, even though the clock was only about 7:30 pm.



Day 2

I got up late the next day, I had been waking up several times during the night. Once I had to get up taking care of my needs, and I must admit that it was a bit scary when the moon was gone and it was pitch black outside and I was all alone. It was also cold. When I finally made it out from the tent I made some tasty instant oat meal. I took of the top part of my back pack and made it in to a day-pack, in there I put my most important stuff, some warm clothes, camera and some lenses... film of course and something to snack on. I left the rest of my stuff by the cabin and took a great look at the mountain. I was trying to find a different way up, now when I knew that I wouldn’t be able to make it hiking on the avalanche gulf route. I took a look at the map to and thought to my self that I could try the west face, even though it was a bit longer of a hike. Then I took off.

I got tiered pretty fast and felt that it was kind of hard to breathe, at first I was wondering how it was possible that I had become in such a bad shape that I wasn’t even able to walk in normal speed, but then I realized that I was higher then 2000 meter, and maybe this was how it was suppose to feel like and I continued in my slow path. The view from up here was something different. I felt so free and happy. In my mind I saw my self making it to the top and sign my name in the book.

The higher I climbed the steeper it got, I had found a way to climb where there wasn’t any gravel. The rocks underneath me where as big as me and there was no problem to climb higher and higher on these rocks. I was so convinced that I was going to make it top the top, I was almost laughing to my self for being so stupid to believe that I wasn’t going to make it. I moved very slowly, it continued to get steeper and I kept telling my self that I had plenty of time to make it.

I finally reached the edge that I had been starring at for hours. I looked over and I saw the Lake Helen camp far down below me, still convinced that I would make it I continued along the edge. It had gotten a lot warmer outside and things were starting to happen to the mountain. Suddenly the rocks I had been climbing on started to move. I thought it was just that one and only rock, but when i continued almost every step I took was on rocks that seemed to move, rocks that was bigger then me. By now I wasn’t so tuff anymore, in fact I was scared and my adrenaline was pumping to it’s fullest. I pictured my self being buried under big blocks of rock and if I wouldn’t die right away from the fall, I would certainly die from not being found, though here I was totally alone, above 3500 meter, sitting on a rock that could decide to move in any second and I hadn’t told anyone what route up I had chosen to take, nor what day I planned to be back. I sat on the rock wondering what to do, so close to the summit, I was thinking for a while that I was going to take a chance but what stopped me was the fear of having a rescue team coming for me. I mean how embarrassing wouldn’t that be. Having a whole team coming after for some one who had been three years in a guide/wilderness school. No. I figured I would rather die then having that happen me. Slowly and deeply disappointed I started to carefully climb down again, hoping that I had at least gotten some nice pictures out of this trip.
When I got down to the cabin again there was some people there, one girl that was from Norway and also lived in San- Francisco. She and boyfriend from India had been doing some day hiking around in the area. They seemed like a very nice couple, after a while they had to take of towards the car. Again... The squirrels and I was having dinner togetherI saw no reason to drive back to San- Francisco that night when I had the opertunity to sleep under the stars, so I stayed there sleeping on one of the stonebenches outside the cabin, watching shooting stars all night.

The next morning I woke up late and with absolutely no disire to drive back to the city, I was perfectly fine where I was, but because I am a responsible girl I was in my car driving a few hours later. When I reached Okland about 3 hours later I got stuck in traffic, more convinced then ever I told my self that big cities was not for me. Before I got home I had already made plans where my next trip was going to be, but when that trip will be done I have no clue.


I am awared of that I have plenty of spelling/gramar misstakes in this story, hopefully you were able to understand it anyway.

Malin Jones