learning to juggle rent


(from a more-positive email "home")

The music thing wouldn't have been a job — just something fun to do in my freetime. But Jared (the guy) said he wanted someone with more stability in their life, so I don't think that'll work out. Which is OK. I like his music, but it wasn't like my life's passion to be part of making it or anything.

The two jobs I've interviewed for so far would both be as office managers. The company I interviewed with Thursday is the one I'd rather work for, though. Last night I got a weird call about 10 o'clock from some guy who worked at the first company and was evidently following up on that interview, though I'd never met him. Actually, the more I think about it, the weirder that call seems. He was really interested in my academic background and wanted to know what philosophers I found influential, and really just wanted to spout off about his own views on patriarchy, postmodernism and feminist scholarship (sigh). I had to drag any information about the job out of him, although he claimed I was "on the short list." I guess that's good, but I don't feel *I've* had a chance to interview the company yet to my satisfaction. I have almost no idea what my responsibilities would involve, since the real interview was all about me (the woman was reading my resume as we spoke) and nothing about the job (she got called away at the end and couldn't finish). The more I think about it, I'm just really having my doubts about that office.

[...]

Of course, this means I may be doing well to have a job by the end of August, but probably won't have a first paycheck in hand until sometime in September. However, I'm not too worried about that. Nickoleta said the landlord is pretty cool about being flexible on the rent, and since I haven't actually paid the deposit yet, I still have about $800 sitting in my bank account, plus another $200 in checks from various sources that I need to cash. So I could definitely pay September's rent, and then maybe get them to delay a little bit on the deposit until I've gotten the first pay check.

I'm really encouraged that I already had two interviews this week, and I feel like some of the other jobs I've applied for would also be a great match for my skills. So who knows what kind of calls I'll be getting this next week! I'm fairly hopeful I won't have to resort to a food-service job, and I think there's almost no chance of moving back to Arizona. Besides: at this point, how much of a fall-back is that, really? I'd have to start a new lease there, the job prospects aren't great, and I'd have to pay to ship back all the stuff I've brought here so far (which is the essentials, so I certainly couldn't leave it).

And I think it will be such a good place to be, too, for lots of other reasons. Through this craigslist thing, I can tell that there are totally opportunities to meet other artists and creative people, and find a forum for publishing my work. Today I had coffee with a really cool guy named Eric who's working on his third novel and seems to know people who've published fiction. He also obviously has a much better idea of the whole book-publishing process (as far as agents and so on), so I think someone like him will be a great resource for doing more with the novel I've started. You just don't find opportunities like that in Arizona. I mean, it's laughable, really, to think about the likelihood of finding stuff like that! But here, I think, you practically trip over people who are trying to do stuff like that.

[...]

Being here just feels so good, and so natural, and so right. In fact, I almost have to keep pinching myself or something because it seems sort of unbelievable that there's actually a universe like this where I could live! It just seems like my kind of place; a place where I could thrive. And not that Tempe was a bad place in any way, but after a while you sort of get used to a certain level of stimulation in your environment and start to assume that's all that's possible. But obviously it's not. And I'm so glad I've moved here, because I think this will save me from becoming stagnant (which could so easily happen in Tempe; people don't do things with their lives there unless they move someplace else, for the most part).

But mostly I guess I'm surprised with God. It's like I find myself saying, "You mean it's possible for people to love the place they live?!" After all the pain and disappointment with Christian, it just seemed like the deepest desires of my heart weren't realizable; that it wasn't possible to do those things or find them to the degree that I wanted to. And I don't understand why God allows people to experience such suffering — nor do I think I'll pass through life without experiencing my share. But somehow He seems to have given me a lot of talents and abilities and resources, for reasons I don't begin to understand. And here, at least for a while, I think I could really begin to put many of them to use.

Besides, seems I've landed near some pretty great running. ;) Last night I went for my first real run since being here, and was delighted to discover that it's barely a mile to the river front. I got there a bit before sunset, and had a lovely view of Manhattan to my right, as I ran south about a mile along a lovely park. Then I turned around and ran back. So I think I'll have a great route again! I'm very happy about that, since I so loved running by the lake in Tempe.

Friendships are sort of the unknown quantity at this point. I think I'll definitely be seeing a lot of Suzanne, which feels very easy and natural, but I don't know what other kinds of relationships are going to develop, or how deep things will become. So that's really up to God, I guess. I haven't trusted Him enough in the past to supply my emotional needs, so I really want to wait on Him and be careful about too-aggressively pursuing things (yes, that includes Andy ;) if I end up seeing him at all).

I love you! Hope this email helps you feel better about your daughter settling into such a big city. :)

Hugs,
Krist

posted @ 02:52 PM on Fri - August 16, 2002 remark! Email |  as quoted:
before I said ...  but more recently: 

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