The characters I am portraying belong to Atlantis Alliance, CBS, Jerry Bruckheimer et al. I am playing with them purely for fun.

Definitely an 18 Rating. BDSM from the beginning and throughout.

Inspired by a challenge of 'Justice' but I just can't edit this down to the word limit for that challenge. All feedback welcome.

Spoilers: Lady Heather's Box

I deserved to be punished. I'd pushed away the woman I love for demanding the impossible from her. Grissom gave her Eddie's death to investigate not knowing that we were a couple, but knowing that I could trust her to work hard. When I pushed her away I knew it wasn't fair, she always gave 110%, and for me she would have given 120% or more. If she'd fucked up anywhere Grissom would have caught it before he signed off on the case, and she would have sought his help, everyone's help, before thinking about saying she was done.

So here I am blindfolded, awaiting my punishment for hurting my love, my goddess, unfairly. My legs are spread, ankles tied wide apart. My arms are manacled, tied only at the wrists, but my wrists are pulled up, tied to a ring over my head, leaving my whole body open to the punishment my Sara decides to meet out.

When she pronounces sentence on me my heart almost stops. I know I've hurt her, but 100 lashes with a cat will leave me helpless, scarred and incapacitated for some time. It's a fair punishment, but I'm scared, terrified actually. Before, I've taken 20 strokes as an erotic whipping, and 10 as punishment. But this, this will be something I've never experienced.

The 20 erotic strokes had worked their way on me, leaving me stimulated, nipples aching and tight, my juices running. At the end of the strokes I was more than ready for the passionate fucking that my love gave me. I liked it enough I would deliberately set up situations to get the experience repeated, as it had been, several times, to my great satisfaction. It delighted both of us every time. The whole experience was primarily love making between two consenting loving people but part of the pleasure for me was the way that, after each such whipping, Sara used me as a sex object; her pleasure all that appeared to matter to her. I was of no consequence and yet I came and came and came, blissing out on repeated multiple orgasms. I think part of my pleasure is having someone I love treat me as an object for their pleasure after so many nights when people I didn't even know used me in exactly the same way. Actually, that's not quite true. I'd stripped, practiced ecdysis if you want to be pretentious. Teased the guys, and sometimes the girls, but never been directly involved in getting them off, never had an orgasm myself from it. With Sara it was different. I couldn't, I wouldn't, be treated like that all the time by Sara. But, every now and again, when I wanted it, when I wanted to be used by my lover as her sex toy, it was... it was mind-blowing to be honest. There was no pressure on me. I just let her do what she wants and enjoy it and hope that she gets her release before I go insane from pleasure.

The 10 punishment strokes, that was different. The blows weren't really harder, they were just laid down to punish me, to inflict pain. Not to harm me long term, but to bring me pain rather than any element of stimulation or pleasure. I'd been able to walk the next day, well hobble to be honest, but at least to move. It took three days before I could walk freely, and almost a week before all the sore spots had gone. I knew I'd asked for the punishment, both literally and metaphorically, but I really wasn't keen to do it again. I'd demanded to know what the punishment beating felt like and Sara had resisted and resisted giving in to my demands. I kept pushing more and more outrageously, metaphorically requesting her to punish me. Eventually she snapped. We were sharing a bath and she threatened that, if I dared to splash her again, she really would have to whip me properly. When I promptly splashed her again, even Sara realised I was serious. She knew, I knew what was going to happen and that I really did want it to happen at least once.

Unlike the erotic strokes, which gave me such pleasure, I took steps to avoid further punishment beatings. They were no fun, gave me no pleasure, and yet, I was pleased to have experienced it the once.

And now, here I am hearing that I was to have 100 punishment strokes. I wouldn't walk for a month! But if that is what it takes to bring Sara back into my life I will willingly submit to the punishment she gives me. That is what led me to this uncomfortable but somewhat familiar position. Held, unable to defend myself, wide open to whatever my judge decides to inflict on me, and blindfolded so I couldn't guess from where the next stroke would descend. There was just enough freedom in my bonds to allow my body to writhe in pain, or more usually for me to writhe in pleasure, but this time there will be pain. I could feel the breeze moving over my body, hear Sara moving, feel the first measuring tap on my ass as she lined up her first stroke.

As the first real stroke hit I awoke with a yelp. Sara wasn't here: she was still waiting for me to go to her and tell her what punishment I thought I deserved; to hear how much I wished to apologise and beg her to come back into my life. I gulped. I knew I would do anything, I knew I needed to do something big, really big, to atone for what I'd done. But my dream was telling me that 100 strokes of punishment was what I thought I deserved. I knew I would make this offer to Sara and hope that she would both accept it as a mark of my devotion to her and my hopes for our future. Deep down I hope she'll let me off some of the strokes, but the offer would be made as I'd dreamed it, and if she took as offered I would go through with it. I was just scared she wouldn't think it was enough. In my dream, I'd already lived through the build up once. Now I would have to summon the courage to say this to Sara, and go through the experience for real. It might just be worse than imagining it, but it was still better than living without Sara.

Next: Will Catherine be brave enough to tell Sara? How will Sara react?

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