The return flight home - no time to slacken your resolve
I've seen so much good work undone by
clients not doing their homework between outbound and inbound legs of their
first flights after treatment.
When I worked with Ansett Australia running their
Fear of Flying program (1994-2000), there were two critical phases of the work.
After five consecutive weekly sessions, it was time on the last night to book
the tickets for the Graduation flight just 48 hours after the last chalk and
talk session.
I always asked the group
members to arrive early for that session, when we went off to Group reservations
and people paid for their tickets. Of 15 in the group, I would usually expect 13
to definitely book with the one or two remaining being unsure. That was when I
had to work hard to try and get at least one of the ambivalent ones to take the
risk and go with the group,
The next
critical phase was arrival at the airport the day of the flight. I would usually
collect the paper tickets issued on the Thursday, and head off to the Group
departure area and pick up the boarding passes. Then we'd retire to the Golden
Wing lounge for final preparations, including some toast and tea for those who
were too rushed or anxious to eat at
home.
It's important not to fly on an
empty stomach as this can accentuate any "butterflies" due to high levels of
adrenaline. Anyone taking medication was not helping their cause either by
having no food. So having a free snack in the lounge was a good move, although I
usually suggested coffee be
avoided.
Then there was the long walk
to the Gate when the flight was called, and almost everyone took a loo
break.
It took me a few groups to learn
that the next most critical phase of the entire fear of flying program was the
return flight, and what I discovered has stayed with me in my work with
individual clients.
Having arrived
successfully at our destination, usually Sydney but occasionally Adelaide (when
we would tour the wineries or the beachside suburb of Glenelg), we would head,
after the obligatory loo break again, to the Golden Wing for a
debrief.
While most particpants were
excited and thrilled to have made it to Sydney and wanted to head to lunch to
celebrate, I made certain we find a space where together we ould pause, catch
our breath, and go around the circle to examine how each of their primary fears
(take off, claustrophobia, turbulence etc) had manifested, and how they dealt
with it.
I asked them to consider when
their anxiety peaked. Was it at some point before the flight and when, how was
it as they boarded, when the doors closed, when the plane began to move, as they
learnt the descent was occurring, and how they enjoyed the visit to the
flightdeck to see the crew in action (remember this was
pre-9/11).
Nowadays, with private
clients, I ask them to do the same by phone or SMS, or if overseas, by email as
soon as they can access the
internet.
Then with the group we would
head to some dining location or shopping/tourist area (some went off to visit
relatives and friends) to enjoy the
day.
It was great to see the group
bonding that took place over 5 weeks, and how they helped each other. Pictures
were taken to become momentos, and the outbound flight quickly put behind
them.
I would then be the one
experiencing anxiety knowing I would bring the day to a close sooner than most
had hoped for because I wanted us back at the airport early to begin the return
leg preparations.
Those who wanted to
stay longer or arrived very late and missed the pre-briefing consistently did
worse. It's as if they believed they had conquered their demons which would
never return. That was always a mistake. Those who went about their preparations
early did much better, even if the flight was subjectively "rougher". Indeed, i
often said that if the outbound flight had been very smooth, I wanted the return
inbound flight to be seriously bumpy so they got a chance with the group and me
to practice what they had
learnt.
Sometimes, weather and
mechanical issues prevented our return flight leaving punctually and i do recall
one nasty thunderstorm night seeing us delayed 5 hours! Now that was a real
test. But it was a realistic one that could occur anytime and so with the group
they got a chance to practice dealing with real world issues as they might occur
on their next flight.
Nowadays, I
usually ask patients to ring me or SMS before their return flight so they don't
take for granted the work needed to do before each flight independent of the
success of their outbound flight. Change does not occur that quickly and
permanently I tell them, and vigilance and practice is needed for quite a few
flights to come.
It's a little like a
smoker having to experience several typical challenges (parties, lonely times,
stress at work etc) before they can slacken their vigilance even a little, With
fearful fliers, they need to keep up their hours and not wait until they have to
fly.
And each one will need time and
effort to prepare prior to the outbound flight, a personal debrief on arrival,
and sufficient pre-flight preparation to really feel you are overcoming your
fears and taking charge of your flying experience. So much is not in your
control when it comes to flying, it's best to take charge of what you
can
control.
Posted: Monday - April 24, 2006 at 12:27 AM
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