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omnium gatherum, n. : a collection of many different, often unsorted, ideas or items.
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Tuesday - April 03, 2007WhiffsWas walking, in business mode, down an old Tribeca
street this morning, wearing the black manhattan uniform plus trench coat
(secretly, gleefully, felt like Jolie, should have added holsters strapped to my
thighs or something, would have sent all the Canal street vendors scurrying out
of the way instead of blocking the path and at times almost intentionally trying
to trip pedestrians) and heels (feet are now having their revenge for their 13
hour abuse) when I smelled the fumes from two blocks away, and they stopped me
in my tracks. They remembered me, and I them. My stomach got that wobbly
feeling, and I wanted a brush. A big fat one.
... it was an industrial paint store, all the more apropos as Tworkov painted with the stuff, and I'd been thinking about ol Jack lately.. But mainly it got me wondering.. planting a seed of doubt-ish things... more later. (developing) Apropos, too: Peter offers a review. I ought to post the one I wrote after attending the opening the other week. To edit and then to post. Ach, tomorrow, tomorrow, kinder, macht neues. Friday - March 16, 2007Sunday - March 11, 2007Oh me-oh-my-oh, would you look at Ms. ManhattanReading Seneca tonight. "On the Shortness of
Life."
Quite a bible. More on that later. Also revisiting older decades, and trying to live up (ironically; or, perhaps, to live down) to something my father said, in reference to a Gillian Welch album (Soul Journey) that he, too, has fallen for... I started to bring her up at dinner awhile back, as far as lyrics I identify with, and he interjected with the words from her first track -- "Yeah, I want to do right, but not right now." That wasn't what I had been going for -- I was, obviously, thinking of "Back in Time" -- but it gave me quite a pause. Reflecting on it, an even greater pause -- the actions in my life seem to be advancing so quickly in these last few weeks -- perhaps a response to the molasses pace of recent months? -- that it seems to be pushing me into a new paradigm. I welcome it; it is the sign of a new era. The "right now" seems to be coming to a close. And tonight I don't know what to do with it, as I haven't been able to all week. Where am I? I can't trust my instincts. At least not right now. "Life is long if you know how to use it." Wednesday - February 07, 2007Reveling, reckoning, reconcilingWishes, Wants,
Dreams:
- to build things. Houses, homes, furniture, a life. - to live on my own farm. to grow plants, to raise animals, to ride. - an old ford diesel truck to run off of veg oil. i'm unyeilding on this point. - writing tomes from my desk in this farmhouse that i've built. - painting, when i feel inspired. - cooking great meals for good people. - california. - big sur. Reality these days: - NYC realty - "joining the 21st century" - selling myself to everyone i know - being insanely lost, in a way i thought impossible, in my home town - being insanely lost everywhere, metaphysically - i think this might be an extreme case of art post-partum, or else it's an existential crisis of an epic nature - endless, unfathomable compromising (And I was so content, even last week! I could point some fingers, if I felt like it, but I'm trying not to.) I see why most people miss their youth. I'm holding out as long as possible. Dreams deserve the hardiest and bloodiest of fights. |