In 2004, I expect...
1. Fewer tests. The only one I have planned
so far is a bone density test. I think I've already been tested for everything
else.
2. Fewer doc visits. I'm
at the maintenance stage with my docs finally. The only new one I might consult
is a nutrition expert.
3. Will
finish up my weekly allergy shots in September. This will conclude a 3 YEAR
program.
4. Better physical
fitness. If the retired ladies in walkers can handle the Arthritis Foundation
aquacise, so can I.
5. Weight
loss. With all my dietary restrictions, I don't see how I can gain any more
weight.
6. A cleaner house.
There are so few places I can go to outside the house now that I should have
more time to get a handle on all my
clutter.
7. Better finances.
With fewer doc visit, tests and ventures outside the house, I'll be saving all
kinds of money (except for all the extra I have to spend on special food
now).
8. Great strides in
medical science pinpointing the cause of fibromyalgia. Maybe 2004 will be the
year it is finally classified as a
disease.
Pain level:
6
Fatigue level:
8
Rave
of the Day: Straight from Ducky's Daily Grin, some funnies about the New
Year....
New
Years Resolutions for
Pets
12. Have a
torrid one-night stand with a street
mutt.
11.
Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from
Mars.
10. I
will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can
opener.
9.
Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog
shows.
8.
Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no
one is
around.
7.
Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the
behinds.
6.
Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat with a bad haircut, or they'll
flush my fuzzy little
butt.
5.
Always boot-scoot before
licking.
4.
Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is
*too*
much.
3.
Get out of the castle more, maybe swim counter-clockwise this
year.
2.
January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31:
Re-live victory over the
sock.
AND the Number 1
New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...
1. I will NOT
chase the darned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS
HAND!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
New
Year's Resolutions You Can
Keep:
1.
Gain weight. At least 30
pounds.
2. Stop
exercising. Waste of
time.
3. Read less.
Makes you think.
4. Watch more
TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5.
Procrastinate more. Starting
tomorrow.
6. Don't date
any of the Baywatch
cast.
7. Spend more
time at work, surfing with the
T1.
8. Take a
vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of
twine.
9. Don't jump
off a cliff just because everyone else
did.
10. Stop
bringing lunch from home: I should eat out
more.
11. Don't have
eight children at
once.
12. Get in a
whole NEW rut!
13. Start being
superstitious.
14. Personal
goal: bring back
disco.
15. Don't
wrestle with Jesse
Ventura.
16. Don't bet
against the Minnesota
Vikings.
17. Buy an '83
Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo
system.
18. Get the
windows tinted. Buy some fur for the
dash.
19. Speak in a
monotone voice and only use monosyllabic
words.
20. Only wear
jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a
belt.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
More
Resolutions You Can Actually
Keep....
21.
Spend my summer vacation in
Cyberspace.
22. Don't eat
cloned meat.
23. Create loose
ends.
24. Get more
toys.
25. Get further
in
debt.
26.
Don't believe
politicians.
27. Break at
least one traffic
law.
28.
Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin
ice.
29. Avoid
transmission of inter-species
diseases.
30. Avoid
airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000
feet.
31. Stay off the
MIR space
station.
32. Don't worry
that the Y2K bug will cause the end of the
world.
33. Get wired
with high-speed net connections at
home.
34. Don't swim
with pirhanas or
sharks.
35. Associate
with even worse business
clients.
36. Spread out
priorities beyond ability to keep track of
them.
37. Wait around
for opportunity.
38. Focus on the
faults of
others.
39. Mope about
faults.
40. Never make
New Year's resolutions again.
Posted: Wed - December
31, 2003 at 04:16 AM