Mon - January 19, 2004

The gluten-free pizza adventure...



...I found a frozen cheese pizza, all organic, with a crust made out of a combo of rice flour, tapioca flour and sunflower meal. I know it sounds weird, but I'll try anything once. I've already learned one thing: cook it less time than it says on the box. I burned the edges baking it the minimum recommended time. So it didn't taste quite as good as it would have had I not burned it, but the middle part was relatively unscathed and was palatable. Fortunately, Dan loves burned stuff and ate what I didn't. Not exactly a deep dish pepperoni with double cheese, but I could see myself eating one every week or two. Probably shouldn't have it at all because of the fat content (14 grams, 4 of them saturated), but doggone it, treats are hard to come by on my diet. Just don't tell my gastro doc.

Pain level: 7
Fatigue level: 7

Rave of the Day: Courtesy of my Aunt Mary, this is how a dishwasher really works...



Posted at 03:12 AM     Read More  


Sat - January 17, 2004

Meeting turned me into a zombie...



...that's one of the things that sucks the most about fibromyalgia....even the positive interactions are exhausting. I'm glad I went, though. I was the only one there with ailments in addition to fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue. Many had been sick for 10-20 years or even longer. We each talked about what we tell people when they ask us, "how are you?" and then each actually said how we really were today. We compared notes about local docs, and before we knew it, our two hours were up. Next month, there will be a speaker. I will likely stay with this as the meeting times are convenient and I would like the chance to talk to some of the people at more length.

Too bad I seem to have slipped into overload mode now that it's over. I never realize how much energy I put into social interaction until I suddenly run completely out of oomph. And I felt so good yesterday, better than I have in weeks. I was hoping I was on a roll.

I have a ton of things I want to be doing, but for the moment, I can only look around at all the unfinished piles and sigh. I can't even think of anything else to type.

Posted at 04:43 PM     Read More  


Fri - January 16, 2004

I feel good.



Not James Brown good, not quite. But better than I have felt for awhile, and any improvement is welcome, right? And it's both mentally and physically better, which is all the more exciting.

Both the chiropractor visit and my home tennis ball/heat pack therapy have helped. It's easier to turn my head, my hips are more flexible, and while I can't seem to keep the muscle spasm triggering my headaches completely gone, it is staying gone for longer and longer periods of time. It's always a good thing when doing my stretches is easier than usual.

I'm feeling a lot more encouraged about my own health after the Sjogren's support group meeting last night. Found out that primary Sjogren's (meaning no other rheumatic diseases present) mimics lupus a lot more than secondary Sjogren's. I have a lot of lupus symptoms and had been worried that my docs were missing something, but now I know that they are probably right. Whew! It was also encouraging to find out about a few people who were diagnosed before age 40...one lady is 21. That means they have a greater chance of managing their illness before it causes irreparable damage. And we had some very articulate people at the meeting bringing up intelligent questions and giving great answers to what the TV crew wanted to know. I do hope the reporter does contact me for a follow-up...I know they mainly like only success stories, but with multiple chronic illnesses, just the fact that I am not completely bedridden waiting for the world to cure me is somewhat a success, isn't it? I feel more empowered than I have in a long time. At the very least, it would be great if the news story helped some people who already have Sjogren's but don't know it get that ever-elusive diagnosis.

The support group is planning a rally/fund raiser/fun walk at a local mall in April. This will be the first event of its kind to raise awareness of Sjogren's. If we can get a lot of people to show up, it could perhaps garner some national attention. I will definitely be there no matter what shape I'm in. Maybe I can get some friends and relatives to show up too.

And I have a fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue support group to go to tomorrow. It will be good to compare notes...maybe I can be useful there too. With all the limits on my activities of late, feeling useful is a very important thing. Sort of makes up for all the things I'd like to volunteer for but decline at my church and with my union. I just can't rely on having enough energy to head a committee or commit to several creative projects with deadlines. Sometimes just going to the regular church services or union meetings is almost too much. At least when I go online or to in-person support groups, I can share what I've learned so far and maybe someone can benefit from it.

Better not tie up the phone line any longer....Dan's got the car in the shop and may need to call if we aren't going to be able to get it back in time for work. Sure wasn't looking to spend $300 on brakes that had appeared fine just a week ago, but better to get them fixed than have them quit while we're driving. I am quite the blessed woman to have a hubby that gets up at the crack of dawn to go to the auto place instead of expecting me to do it. He's probably the biggest reason of all that I feel good.

Pain level: 6
Fatigue level: 6

Rave of the Day: Ducky sent me this link a while back to cheer me up....
http://www.berkeleybreathed.com/Images/fav_strip1_full.jpg

Posted at 02:28 PM     Read More  

Wow, what a day...



...went to the chiropractor this morning. In addition to the adjustment, he did moist heat and a TENS unit on the muscles that have been giving me the migraine. It did get the area to calm down quite a bit, but it also fatigued me to the point where I had to come home and take a two-hour nap, which is something I almost never do (naps screw up my sleep cycle).

After I got up later, I was doing a little work with the tennis ball on some of my trigger point areas when I came across a REALLY bad one quite by accident. It's on the right where the arm and upper back meet. My arm went numb, and I got nauseous and dizzy, and I had to stop and go lay down for 15 minutes. I'll need to have the massage therapist help me with that one for sure when I see her on Tuesday.

Took tonight off work to attend a Sjogren's support group meeting, but I had to take Dan to work first (we only have one car). The meeting was situated about halfway between work and home, so rather than go all the way home, I decided to make a detour at a nearby mall to use a gift certificate I'd gotten for Christmas. I got one of those really fancy eye pillows, helpful for those who sleep during the day like I do. Then I went to the bookstore and found a new copy of the John Edward book I liked (Chip ATE the old one) and actually found a book on Sjogren's there.

The meeting went well. A local news station was there, and they were doing a composite piece on our group and Sjogren's in general. They asked us some questions and did some shots of the discussion and took notes. We had the option of giving them contact info if we were interested in doing some individual interviews. Being the big talker that I am, of course I signed up. They will put this together as a special report over the next few weeks and will put it on their website too.

The speaker at the meeting was pretty technical, but I learned a few things. He mentioned, for example, that even though Sjogren's only occurs in 1% of the general population, it is seven times more common in people with fibromyalgia. He said current genetic research shows great promise for finding the cause of and solutions for autoimmune disorders. Medications that target only the disease process rather than the entire body will then be more likely.

Oops, I missed my bedtime of 3am....I'd better quit yakkin.

Rave of the Day: Even though I don't have kids, I still find this hilarious. It's a list of what you can learn from a kid, courtesy of idgy....

Garbage bags don't make good parachutes.

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise.

The fire department has 5 minute response time.

The spin cycle does not make earth worms dizzy.

It DOES make cats dizzy.

Cats throw up twice their body weight, when dizzy.

Quiet doesn't mean, don't worry.

A 4 year old's voice carries louder than 200 adults in a restaurant.

McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know. Ditto Tarzan.

Legos will pass thru the digestive tract of a 4 year old. Lincoln Logs do not.

No matter how much jello you put in a pool, you can't walk on water.

Pool filters do not like jello.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies, they will ignite. (if run over with roller blades)

A good sense of humor, will get you thru most problems, in life. (in retrospect.)

Posted at 03:34 AM     Read More  


Thu - January 15, 2004

Two support group meetings....



...the first one is Thursday night. My employer owed me a holiday off, so I'm taking it tomorrow. I'll be going to a Sjogren's meeting...the speaker is a local rheumy who is supposed to be the top expert in the state on Sjogren's and lupus. One of the TV stations is supposed to be there...I hope they do a big story because Sjogren's gets even less press than fibromyalgia, even though it's the second most common connective tissue disorder. Besides, the more I learn about Sjogren's, the more I can prevent flareups that trigger fibromyalgia flares.

The second meeting is Saturday. It's for people with fibromyalgia and/or chronic fatigue. I haven't been to an in-person fibro support group meeting before. There are groups around, but most meet on weeknights when I'm working or at 8am, which is only seven hours after my shift ends. This one is at 1pm, so I stand a better chance of being sociable. It will be informal and will just have us sitting around talking. They meet once a month and alternate the meetings with speakers with the informal ones. I'm very interested in comparing notes on local docs and treatments.

Just remembered I have a chiropractor appointment in eight and a half hours, so off to bed I go.

Posted at 02:24 AM     Read More  


Wed - January 14, 2004

Can't keep headache at bay...



...it came back last night about 1:30am my time. Woke up this morning without too much pain but feeling all brain damaged....had the shakes and seemed to be moving in slow motion. Called the chiropractor and massage therapist's office....I can get in to see the chiropractor tomorrow, but the massage lady is out until Tuesday. Went to water aerobics...everyone could tell that I was feeling out of it. My head kept spasming periodically, but I stayed with the class anyway. I was sooo sore all over from spending all day yesterday in bed that I knew I really needed the exercise.

I guess before work I'll try the tennis ball thing....I have to get that trigger point resolved somehow. I will be bringing Skelaxin, menthol patches and a rice sock to work with me just in case. I guess this is a classic example of how chronic myofascial pain and fibromyalgia feed off one another.

Pain level: 8
Fatigue level: 7

Rave of the Day: This is cute even if you're younger than 50. Courtesy of Ducky...

A Poem For Computer Users Over 50

A computer was something on TV,
From a science fiction show of note,
A window was something you hated to clean,
And ram was the father of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend,
And gig was a job for the night,
Now they all mean different things,
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment,
A program was a TV show,
A cursor used profanity,
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age,
A CD was a bank account,
And if you had a 3-inch floppy,
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage,
Not something you did to a file,
And if you unzipped anything in public,
You'd be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to the fire,
Hard drive was a long trip on the road,
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife,
Paste you did with glue,
A web was a spider's home,
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper,
And the memory in my head.
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash,
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

Posted at 01:47 PM     Read More  

Typical day for the chronically ill...



I was complaining to my rheumatologist a few weeks ago about how having to sleep for 10 hours a day completely wiped out all my free time. He was nodding at me, but I could tell by the expression on his face that he thought I was exaggerating. Afterward, I started wondering what it could be that keeps me busier than a healthy person. Then I wrote down every picky little thing I have to do on an average day that takes me longer than most people, and I got my answer.

Here's what I came up with:

1. Turn off alarm, and then sleep one more hour because it's impossible to get out of bed.

2. Spend 30 minutes trying to work muscle cramps out of legs and feet.

3. Morning meds for thyroid, allergies, reflux, etc. Anti-oxidants and supplements for pain and joint health.

4. Disassemble humidifier and set out filter to dry.

5. Spend 45 minutes doing therapeutic stretches.

6. Phone calls for prescription refills, doc appointments, etc.

7. Saline sinus rinse.

8. Shower, taking a few extra minutes to let warm water relax painful muscles.

9. Apply lotion from head to toe to prevent dry skin cracking, peeling and itching.

10. Steroid sinus spray for allergies.

11. Afternoon meds: anti-inflammatories, immunosuppressants, pills to aid digestion. Also cal/mag, vitamin C, etc.

12. Cook and eat a nutritious meal made from scratch since restricted diet prohibits most processed foods.

13. Use WaterPik in addition to brushing, flossing and special mouthwash for dental problems due to illness.

14. Pack enough food for entire work shift because restricted diet precludes fast food or anything from a machine. Fill up half gallon jug for drinking water.

15. Stop at mall to buy supplements while they're on sale. Allow all the impatient people to pass. Ignore their dirty looks should their progress be impeded.

16. Leave for work; arrive home 9.5 hours later.

17. One hour on computer visiting Fibrohugs,com and checking and replying to e-mail.

18. Night meds including sleep aid, more sinus spray and multi-vitamin.

19. Various moisturizers to cut down on overnight itching. Special products for lips, eyes and mouth to prevent overnight dryness.

20. Re-assemble humidifier and run on "sleep" setting.

21. Get up 2-4 times during the night to pee.

Is it any wonder I'm worn out?

Rave of the Day: An oldie but a goodie....

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

Posted at 12:49 AM     Read More  


Tue - January 13, 2004

Worst migraine in 6 years...



...so bad I couldn't put my head on my pillow for the pain. Finally risked taking a Skelaxin (a non-sedating muscle relaxant) in spite of the nausea from the headache...it did get the muscles in the back of my head relaxed enough so that I could lay down and try to sleep it off. Woke up today minus the headache but with all the other sypmtoms still present, like having a hangover: dizziness, nausea, sensitivity to light and sound, mental fuzziness. Dan had to take me to get my allergy shot because I was not fit to drive. It was a very bright day, and the sunlight hit me just right even with my sunglasses on, and the migraine started up again! Ack...I can hardly even form a sentence. So much for my resolution of not calling in sick. Dan wouldn't let me go to work anyway...says I look horrible.

Last time I had a migraine this bad, it lasted for two months! I had every test and treatment imaginable...no cause or cure was ever found. I will try to sleep this off tonight, but if it's not gone tomorrow morning, I will insist upon seeing a doc.

This is hell.

Posted at 04:21 PM     Read More  

Headache to the nth degree...



...it has been at least a year since my head hurt this bad. I think it's a trigger point thing, but I can't seem to get the muscle group responsible to relax and stay relaxed. The pain doesn't travel around my head, it travels THROUGH my head from back to my right eye like a laser beam.

Oddly, I've been trying since last week to get an appointment with the massage therapist and the chiropractor but the receptionist never seems to pick up the phone. Then on the way to work today, Dan had to lock up the brakes to avoid hitting a van that stopped suddenly. My head jerked forward, not enough to bother most people, but I bet it was just enough to bother me.

I'm trying to decide if I dare take a muscle relaxant because I feel like I'm going to hurl. Maybe just moist heat on the back of my head? A dark room definitely sounds good.

Pain level: 10
Fatigue level: 9

Rave of the Day: Speaking of pain, a member of Fibrohugs did a very nice article about it. Here's the link:
Learn to Live With It

Posted at 02:46 AM     Read More  


Sun - January 11, 2004

Updates...



Had an interesting dream last night...dreamed that a gluten-free brekkie had been added to a local restaurant's menu in my honor. It was poached eggs, baked ham, baked potato wedges and fresh fruit. Not bad, eh? Unfortunately, I also had some nasty nightmares, one of which left me in tears. Yep, it was one of those toss and turn nights, even with the Ambien.

Went back to Penney's to exchange the jeans I had bought last weekend that didn't fit. Guess what? The pair that DID fit (the ones I had tried on in the store) was the fluke! Apparently that style of Lee jeans has huge waistbands, and the pair that fit was the "mistake". I am very hard to fit since I have a size 12 waist and a size 16 abdomen. So I looked around for something else. Had to try on SEVEN other styles of stretch denim size 14 before I found anything close. Lee makes something called "slim fit" now...from what I can tell, all it means is the waistband is smaller.

Left the store with not enough time to go home before church, but too much time to go straight to church, so I had Dan take me to a new scrapbooking store called Archivers. Photo albums are pretty much the only thing I do that could be considered a craft, and I've got more "gear" for it at home than you can imagine. I got this great set of 18 different types of scissors for Christmas, but I'm out of paper, so I looked around for some. Wow! Every kind of paper you can imagine, plus albums, pens, stickers, stencils and stamp stuff. The line at the cashier's was too long for me to purchase anything before church, but I will definitely return there sometime.

Talked to the pastor after church about my dilemma with communion (I can't eat the bread anymore)...she said she would look into acquiring some gluten-free wafers. They last practically forever and so can be used as needed. I was concerned about requesting special treatment, but I think this would be a good solution, especially if someone else joins the congregation who can't have bread.

Pain level: 6
Fatigue level: 6

Rave of the Day: Got this in an e-mail from Ducky. I sure miss Calvin and Hobbes, don't you?
Calvin and Hobbes - Snowmen

Posted at 08:16 PM     Read More  

Bonus Rave of the Day:



Got a poetry slam book from Robert for Christmas. It has a little bit of everything in there...it's a great deal of fun just to turn to a random page to see what you get. Here's something I stumbled across tonight...

"Poetry is what in a poem makes you laugh, cry, prickle, be silent, makes your toenails twinkle, makes you want to do this or that or nothing, makes you know that you are alone in the unknown world, that your bliss and suffering is forever shared and forever all your own."

--Dylan Thomas

Posted at 12:48 AM     Read More  


Sat - January 10, 2004

P.S. from yesterday...



Here's one thing I left out in my description of yesterday's crummy day....

I had bought some new jeans last week....tried on one pair to make sure they fit and grabbed another off the rack the same size and style. Went to put on the second pair yesterday, and they didn't fit at all! The waist was at least TWO INCHES too big! I don't care to show off my tidy whities, thank you very much. Now who would have thought there'd be so much variation within the same size and style? I had already taken the tags off and everything...I hope the store will allow me to return them. I did find the receipt. I just hate taking the extra energy to go back to the store and try to find another pair. I've got half a mind to call the Lee jean company and complain.

I did just get up within the hour...1:20pm my time. I'm not sure whether my head is going to implode or explode. I need to go do my stretches so the muscle spasms will calm down. Wish I could blame all this on a hangover. At least then I would know that it would go away.

Pain level: 8
Fatigue level: 7

Rave of the Day: This funny is from Anna. It's about being old, but I think many of them apply to me even at my age. Enjoy!

Old is when!~~~~~

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee.

Posted at 02:12 PM     Read More  

Crummy day #2...



...it's rare for me to have two yucky days back to back, but sometimes life just works out that way.....

Because of a legal issue I'm attempting to resolve, I need a copy of my medical records from a doc I haven't seen in six years. He's a shrink in private practice who has changed offices twice since I was a patient, so he was hard to find....also, he doesn't have an answering service, so his phone often just rings and rings. I finally was able to leave a message and got one back saying I had to request my files in writing and provide the addy of the doc they were to send it to. I typed up a letter and specified I needed the copies released to me. I went to a print shop and had them fax the letter almost two weeks ago. When I got no response, I tried calling the doc's office again today and couldn't get through. I checked my receipt from the print shop and discovered they had faxed the wrong number! Ack! So I went back to the print shop and had them re-send it. I would just go over to this doc's office, except I looked up the addy and couldn't find it on a map. Sigh.

I'm also in the midst of settling a problem with an insurance company (they're settling out of court to avoid a fraud conviction). They are making it extremely difficult to obtain the refund we are due and in fact have attached so many fees to the amount that it is only about six percent of what they ripped us off for. Then they told Dan today that he must write a letter specifying the terms of the settlement and fill out a form which states just the opposite of what we had agreed to. We have only a week left to get this taken care of or the settlement is void. Yikes.

Did go to the bookstore today, but this other stuff took so long and the traffic was so bad that we only had a few minutes to look around before we had to go to work. They were sold out of the book I wanted, but I found three others (I almost never have trouble finding books I like). Went to ring them up, and for some reason the register wouldn't accept my check (yes, I had money in the account). So I paid with cash, and the cashier accidentally rang it up twice. By the time the manager figured out how to void the purchases and start over, we left for work about 15 minutes later than planned. Made it there with seconds to spare.

Then tonight at work, I got up from my chair, and my right hip popped rather painfully (I think my joints pop due to dryness). Felt like I had a dagger in there, and I could not get it to stop. Looks like it's the moist heat pack for me before bed.

Well, I know tomorrow's going to be better. The odds of three poopy days in a row are pretty small. Anyway, it can't be that bad because I'll probably be home all day. I'd wanted to run some errands with Dan, but he wants to do several all over town, and I told him I could only do maybe two. He doesn't feel like driving me all the way back home after only an hour or two.

Pain level: 8
Fatigue level: 7

Rave of the Day: Here's a good tee hee from Ducky....

HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.

Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Posted at 02:48 AM     Read More  


Fri - January 9, 2004

Day from Hades....



Had a crummy day today. Went to the grocery store for the first time since mid-November (Dan had been shopping for me) armed with a detailed list of brand names and products to buy. Didn't work out well at all...the store had many of the brands I was looking for, but not the products that were gluten-free. Example: health bars made with rice. There were about 50 types of low-carb bars, but none were gluten-free. The other problem was that the product lists I'd gone by were outdated. Many foods on the list had been replaced by "new, improved" stuff chock full of chemicals. What happened to SIMPLE foods? I ended up having to read all the labels anyway just to find something I could eat. Instead of a quick half hour trip, it was an hour and a half! I left exhausted, my foot was killing me, and I was really ticked off. I will contact the companies with the outdated lists and ask them for current info.

Then at work tonight, a co-worker started a fire in one of the microwave ovens on our floor! Smoke was pouring out everywhere, and of course I am allergic to smoke. As soon as I saw what was happening, I got a wet paper towel and put it over my nose so the smell wouldn't be as bad. I still got a nasty headache, burning in my eyes and throat, a heavy duty fatigue flareup and lots of nausea. I really wanted to go home, but I just returned to work a few weeks ago after missing three full weeks, so I won't have any sick time until March. The smoke did clear up after about 45 minutes, and I started to feel better after four hours. Amazing how the tiniest little thing can set my body off like that.

I'm going to do something fun before work tomorrow if I have the time. I have a bookstore gift certificate to spend. Since my dog ATE my John Edwards book before I was done with it, I will replace that at the very least. Maybe I'll replace my "Lord of the Rings" books too. The set I have was given to me in junior high school, and I've read them so many times that the pages are beginning to fall out. If I do go book shopping tomorrow, I've got to remember to bring a watch....I can get lost for hours in those places!

I've got so much stuff to do, but I don't feel like moving a muscle. Like my mom used to say, I'm so far behind, I'm in front!

Pain level: 8
Fatigue level: 9

Rave of the day: Lovers of bad puns, unite! Got this in an e-mail from Roger....
FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES

( LOVERS OF WORDS )
1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered.

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate Clauses.

29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of da feet.

Posted at 02:31 AM     Read More  


Thu - January 8, 2004

Some of my picks for 2003 music...



Best lyric: "Shake it like a Polaroid picture." from "Hey Ya!" by OutKast

Best single: "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" by Jet

Most overplayed artist: Justin Timberlake

Best cover: "It's My Life" by No Doubt

Worst cover: "Boys of Summer" by the Ataris

Best album: "A Rush of Blood to the Head" by Coldplay

Best video: "The Scientist" by Coldplay

Best song title: "The Horizon Has Been Defeated" by Jack Johnson

Best comeback: Metallica

Best parody: "(I Bought It On) e-bay" by Weird Al Yankovic

Posted at 02:54 AM     Read More  
Treasure hunt...
Thinner by surprise...
Fighting off something...
Screaming knees...
Already broke a resolution...
Happy New Year!
Venturing bootless...
In 2004, I expect...
As good as it gets?
Slipped into overload mode...
One last holiday note...
Tummy less turbulent...
Stomach sneak attack!
Haven't given the boot the boot...
Bring on the house lights...


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