Passenger Briefing
I took a trip from San Jose to Mechanicsburg, PA
via Baltimore this week. In consequence, I spent a lot of time on some
airplanes, as it takes 2 planes each way to make that trip from San Jose (at
least it does if you buy your tickets 2 weeks before time on Expedia.com).
Getting on 4 airplanes in 3 days
exposes you to a mind-numbing concentration of passenger briefings. No matter
how they are delivered, whether live by flight attendant over the PA, or via the
video monitors, most passengers have "heard it all" many times before and tune
it out. No matter how shrilly the FA's announce the importance of the briefing
and demand that passengers pay attention, my observation is that most people
don't (including myself, usually). Well, I usually do try to find the emergency
exits, and I sometimes try to figure out where the emergency oxygen mask will
pop out in case I need it. But the verbiage is similar to what any frequent
traveller has heard over and over again, and like anything unpleasant that we've
heard over and over, we tune it out. We're only human, after
all.
Why do airlines insist on giving
these briefings in spite of the lack of attention paid to them? Because the
Federal Airman Regulations (FARs) require a passenger briefing by the pilot or
operator of an aircraft before takeoff. As a private pilot, I am required to
explain to any passengers I carry in a small plane how to buckle and unbuckle
the safety belt, how to exit the aircraft, and anything else that I as a pilot
may deem important for passengers to know. Airlines are also required to give
this same sort of briefing, which also explains why they tend to sound the same
regardless of which carrier you are flying with (with some exceptions, which
I'll note below). Passengers must be apprised of how to work the seatbelts, even
though anyone over the age of 5 almost certainly knows this already. We need to
hear every time (according to the FAA) that the oxygen is flowing even if the
bag isn't inflated, and the emergency exits are over the wings (where else would
they be?).
Some flight crews for
Southwest Airlines, knowing that we're human and dislike the trite repetition of
the briefings, have gotten creative (encouraged by their management) in the
delivery of briefings. So on an SWA flight, you might hear the
following:
• The seat belt works
like every other one you've ever used. If you can't figure it out, you shouldn't
be out without your keeper.
• If
the oxygen mask deploys, put your own on before helping your child. If you are
traveling with two children, decide now which one you love
more.
• If the oxygen mask is
needed, and you are traveling with a child or an adult acting like a child, put
your own on before helping him or
her.
Well, you get the picture. At
least the required briefing can be made interesting if the airline wants it to
be. Most elect to stick with the bureaucratic
script.
Before leaving this topic, I do
want to emphasize that there is a deadly serious purpose. Just this week, an Air
France jet overran the runway and burst into flames. Everyone aboard got out
within two minutes (which is simply amazing on the face of it), and no one was
killed or (I believe) injured. So this is a case where the briefing and the
knowledge of the exits saved lives.
Particularly in the deployment of
oxygen masks, the fact that we've had the drill drummed into our heads over and
over can possibly be life saving. If a jet is at 35000 feet and there is a
"sudden pressure loss" (which really means: an explosive decompression of the
cabin), your eardrums will probably burst, which will be painful and
disorienting. Nevertheless, the noise will be incredible, and you'll probably
have severe pain behind the eyes and be gasping for air. And you'll have 20 to
30 seconds of useful consciousness in which to figure out that you need to grab
the mask and get the strap around your head. Most people will probably not be
able to figure it out in time and the FA's will have to help many. So probably
we shouldn't complain about briefings. We hear them whether we listen or not; we
get reminded every time we get on a plane that there are oxygen masks that might
be needed, there are emergency exits over the wings, and all that. Because if we
really need them, we'll sure be glad that some of us on the plane were listening
and figured out where the exits were.
Posted: Fri - August 5, 2005 at 10:56 PM