Decluttering Fears


Some days, the FlyLady's approach - 15 minutes in the "Zone" each day, slow & steady progress - makes a lot of sense and is such a relief. Today I did about 25 minutes in the kitchen (this week's zone) and also did my 5 minute room rescue in the worst room (the back bedroom) ... later I was feeling a little down that I didn't *do more* and realized that just DOING something, slow & steady, was the point. I do tend to throw myself into something and then burn out, so if I can get a handle on really *doing* it every day, just 15- minutes or a 27 fling boogie or whatever, I will make better progress, long term, slow and steady.

That's the idea, anyway. But today I started to think ... what if I never get *good* at decluttering? I am not innately ruthless. I stare at those big junk drawers, and think I really *need* the old gunky but functional pens. The ones I would pass up unless it was an emergency. And those tiny gold scissors we found somewhere in the house when we moved in. I've used them once or twice. I don't really like them. But they're functional, and my brain tells me how handy it is to have scissors in the kitchen. My brain has no comment about having 5 pairs being too many. So when I "declutter" I often throw VERY little out, give VERY little away, and spend the rest of the time rearranging and tidying the clutter.

I know, I know, I KNOW that's not the idea. That's not what I'm supposed to be doing. But I seem helpless to cross the line and GET rid of some of the lame things. Maybe in a month, when I'm back to the kitchen zone again, I'll see those same sad unused things and be more courageous about getting rid of them? I'm sure someone needs a tiny, sharp pair of gold scissors, or those weird coupon clipping scissors. But it's so hard, staring into the drawer (or closet, or box, or room) and being decisive.

I could blame it on being new to decluttering, but I can't say that anymore. 9 years ago I had honestly never heard the word. I had no idea that people regularly got rid of stuff. When Carole first told me she had a yard sale every *year* I was flabbergasted. When she said that she regularly went through things and got rid of the unused I was amazed, it was a novel concept. But that was 9 years ago, or so. Now, here I am, still feeling like an ineffective beginner. I'm a *little* better than I was, but not much. I could excuse my ineffective attempts if I was SURE that I would get better with time, but I'm not. I'm scared that, in another 9 years, I'll still be staring at the tiny gold scissors and gunky stupid pens. They'll probably be really tidy, by then, arranged by color and length, or something. Assuming I get any better at the "a place for everything" part of decluttering.

I can't imagine a day when I don't stare in blank confusion at simple things, not having any clue where to put them, and set them in some "hot spot" until I can find a "real home" for those things. That simple concept seems unattainable.

There's a scary side to decluttering - the fear of always wishing to live a simple life but never getting good at it.

p.s. - okay, okay, I'm going to pitch the gunky pen and put the gold scissors and the coupon scissors in the give-away box RIGHT NOW.

p.p.s. - update - the two pairs of scissors and *4* pens are gone. That's progress, right?

Posted: Tue - March 8, 2005 at 10:20 PM          

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