My Apologies to Mr. Kenmore


It was an event-year ago, today, that I unceremoniously dumped our reliable old Kenmore vacuum. It was the Last Day to drop off things at the church yard sale ... why not replace my old, old canister vacuum ... it seemed heavy and cumbersome, and the power switch was stuck *on* so that we turned it off & on by yanking the cord in and out ... I was deceived by advertising and materialism, thinking that something newer, lighter, one of those bag-free models would make my vacuuming life as happy as the lady in the Swiffer Duster Ad. Our old, faithful Kenmore - which had served Dale faithfully for many years before we got married, and then served our family for another 11.5 years, was cast aside; presumed outdated. And we bought a relatively inexpensive upright bagless vacuum, which I shall not name, since my point is not to bash the new one.

But grass rarely IS actually greener on the other side of the fence. In fact, sometimes grass is a little bit weedier.

My new upright's small bagless canister needs to be emptied frequently - and the dust that I was spared by the HEPA filter is then dumped into the trash, straight out of the canister, billowing up, out of the trash can, and into my face. A simple twist of a knob changes the setting from high pile carpet to medium to low carpet to bare floor. Bare floor pushes popcorn seeds in front of it. Medium-to-low settings might suck up the popcorn seeds and then rattle them around the plastic beater zone in a frighteningly loud manner, or might shoot them out the back side. And the large beater head doesn't quite get into dusty corners and edges. The hose-tool, sadly, seems underpowered and always blows a cloud of dust out the hole where it connects when disconnected. Oh, and worst of all, when I vacuum up spiders and bugs, they don't die, they just whirl around, dusty, in the clear canister, wiggling their dusty little legs, rather than being crammed tight into an overfilled filter-bag inside which, if they DID live, I never knew it.

Overall, my new vacuum functions adequately, but with each use I regret my foolish, materialistic choice to "upgrade" to something more modern. Dale points out that the Kenmore, despite coming from Sears, was actually a fairly high-end Kenmore ... and the new one is a fairly low-end model, which might account for all the disappointments. And indeed, it might explain all but one: my disappointment in myself, for not following my wise family training, to keep using something as long as duct tape and glue will hold it together, and not go for the new just because it's new. Even knowing materialism and advertising are foolish paths to follow, I chose to do so and cast aside good old reliable Mr. Kenmore, only to find his replacement equally cumbersome and not as exceptional in it's performance.

I am sorry, Mr. Kenmore, that I doubted you. I hope whoever bought you at last year's church yard sale, complete with extra bags, has found you to be a faithful and true blessing.

Posted: Mon - April 25, 2005 at 08:12 PM          

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