| |
|
|
EPISODE 1
Coming into the house for the first time, I was definitely overwhelmed by the whole atmosphere. The dim lighting and the decoration of the house made me a bit worried about how the show was going to be. At this point, I had found out that it would be on the Sci Fi channel, and I was nervous because I'm the type of person that gets scared easily. I never watched horror films when I was young because of the mere fact that I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep later on that night.
Anyhow, when I first met the guests, I was a bit surprised. I noticed that there was a larger age range than I had expected for a reality show. Interesting. This ruled out that the show was going to have physical games, which disappointed me. Nonetheless, all the guests were very diverse in backgrounds and personalities. I was delighted to meet the guests because immediately, I made friends with most of them(BonnieÑshe is such a wise and loving person, JamieÑshe is super sweet and fun, Noel and EricÑthey crack me up, the funniest guys, Brent—he was super nice and goofy, HamimÑhe had a smooth yet friendly personality, Tim—a nice southern elderly man). The rest of the others were camera crazy because I guess they wanted to be on TV. It was like it was between them and the camera—I don't think they noticed that there were other guests. I, on the other hand, am a bit more camera shy, and plus, my only initiative on the show was to win. That changed quickly when I met the judges of the show, who were called the "Alts".
All of a sudden, a very Hollywood thing happened. The lights went off, and a loud noise rang. Then as the lights went on, the five Alts had appeared, Fiona(the Witch), Avocado(the Naturist), Iya Tashia(the Voodoo Priestess), Art(the Modern Primitive), and Don(the Vampire). At that point, it was hard for me to decipher whether they were real or fake because of the way they entered the room. Just a flash of light that went on and off, and BOOM, they were in the living room. I was skeptic yet spooked at the same time.
Immediately after that, we went outside for a poorly catered dinner. It was gorgeous that night. It was the first time I had seen the side of the estate, and that, by far, was my most favorite part of the house. The swimming pool was lit with fire pits which made the night even more beautiful. Surprisingly, I was excited yet hesitant in meeting the Alts. None of them really looked different based on appearance, with the exception of Don and Art. I introduced myself to each of the Alts, and they all greeted me in a very positive energy. I had never really had a problem with people with different lifestyles because most of my friends have different lifestyles/religions, which I appreciate and learn from. I knew that I could do the same with each of the Alts. But honestly, I was overwhelmed at the beginning because I feared about what might go on in the house. I know my limitations andI knew some of the practices of some of the lifestyles may include contacting spirits, and I didn't want to mess around with that. But I figure, I'd wait and see what was going to happen. Then, the Alts chose their roommates among all the guests. I wasn't chosen, and was glad because I was too overwhelmed by the premise of the show. I had expected something totally different, and was in a WHOA stage.
During most of the show, the guests had plenty of free time to interact. At the beginning, most of the Alts were busy with interviews and preparation for the events. The guests played a lot of cards, Uno, and Mancola. Not very exciting, but it was a chance to get to know each other. The first morning, all the guests came into Avocado's room and had our first Yoga session. It was pretty fun.
Ritual 1: Voodoo Ceremony
Coming into the ceremony, I was pretty scared already. The ceremony was all the way down the hill in the backyard of the house. The area it was held at supposedly was an ancient cemetery where the Native American Indians had been buried after some sort of a war or fight. I was frazzled by Fiona because she was sobbing. Not crying, but sobbing, and I did not understand why. Somebody had mentioned that she was being possessed. I didn't know if I believed it or not, but it definitely set a mood as the guests and I walked down to the ceremony. When arriving, Iya Tashia, had requested the guests to pay homage to one of the statuettes that was a god. I honestly did not know what homage meant, and did not want to do something I didn't know the meaning of. None of the guests got any type of description of what the ceremony was about. The little that I knew about Iya at that point, was that she took her spirituality and lifestyle very seriously, so I did not want to disrespect the ceremony by participating without any knowledge of the ritual. I had made the right decision for myself when I realized that she was contacting spirits, which I had earlier been afraid of. In the Bible, it says not to contact spirits or spiritual mediums because of the danger that may come from it, so I did not want to participate in invoking the spirits simply because, I'll be honest, it scares me.
Iya was possessed by what seemed to be a couple of spirits because she frequently called out to many people. She called out to Hamim and some other guests. She also called out to the producers and other people behind the scenes, which made me believe that this was for real. Afterwards, I went up to Iya and thanked her for allowing me to sit in on what she sees as a sacred ceremony. It was a privilege for me to see a little of what Voodoun ceremonies are about.
Behind the scenes:
Iya is a very straight forward woman. She came up to me on the 2nd day and said, "You're scaried of me". I told her I wasn't. I told her that I wanted to stay low key at this moment because I was just overwhelmed by everything. Think about it, I was just thrown in a house with a Voodoo Priestess, a Witch, a Vampire, a Naturist, and a Modern Primitive. Not your normal everyday situation, so I needed some time to adjust. Brent was there with me, and immediately, Iya started commenting about how she was frustrated by how society depicts Jesus as a blonde-haired, blue-eyed man. Oh course, Brent was targeted in this situation because he was a white boy. But then I had interjected and said, "I'm not white, I'm Asian and believe in Jesus". I told her that Jesus was probably not blonde-haired and blue-eyed. He was probably Middle-Eastern looking because Jerusalem was in the Middle East which meant that he was probably tan with darker features. I told her that it didn't matter what Jesus looked like, but about what the Man did. I think Iya had a problem with the way society had made Jesus white, and for me, that didn't matter. I don't care if Jesus is white, black, or Asian(but He was probably not Asian). I worship Jesus because He died for our sins. Iya was at peace with Brent and I at that point because she knew that us being Christian did not cut down her African heritage and lifestyle.
Vampire Trial:
All the guests were to go into a Blood bath, and grab a ÔVampire' item. Then they would have to throw the item into the pot of the person whom they wanted to get eliminated. At the end of the trial, whomever had the least items in their pot would win. Kelly got a ton of items in her pot, and for the first time, I think she was truly upset. Brent won with only 1 item in his pot which made him immune from elimination, and gave him the power to choose in the case of a tie.
Elimination Ceremony:
Coming into the elimination, I was sure I wasn't going to be eliminated. Since I wasn't chosen as one of the roommates, I didn't really have a chance to get to know each of the Alts all that much because there were too many events going on where the Alts had been busy, so I thought in turn, that the Alts didn't know me enough to give me a necklace.
I was no possible threat compared to other guests, yet I was low key. Then Don gave me a necklaceÉ.microcasm/macrocasm what? Ok, whatever. One necklace was ok. Then I received a 2nd one from FionaÉ.another one? I just didn't understand why I was getting necklaces. (That is why I'm crying like an idiot.) I have never been singled out like this before for no apparent reason. Then Iya stood between Hamim and I. I was worried because it looked like she was going to give me a necklace, but I wouldn't understand why. But heck, I didn't understand why I got the other 2 necklaces so I just thought why not, give me another one. Then Iya started mentioning things about ancestors, and I knew it couldn't have been me. I know about my ancestors, and have always respected that aspect of my life, so the necklace had gone to Hamim. There was a tie between Hamim and I, and Brent, both of our good friends, had to make a tough tie breaker. This was situation I never thought would have happened. I understood if Brent chose whatever decision he wanted, but surprisingly, he chose for me to stay. The house was silent as we all entered after the elimination with the exception of Kelly. All she did was rant about how she almost got eliminated. I was about to retort to her comments about me being closer to elimination, but I was so exhausted. I was upset and frustrated about the necklacesÉwhy? Then the Alts chose their roommates, and Fiona chose me. Oh course, I knew she had to. I was upset with her, but tried to be positive. She was someone I knew nothing about, and she knew nothing about me, and for her to want me eliminated without knowing me, just made me upset. Who is she or Don to judge? Well they are the Alts, so I couldn't refute their decisions after the 2nd day of knowing me. It just surprised me that Noel, who continuously joked around about the Alts, and Kelly and Nichole, who were loud and obnoxious in getting camera attention, had gotten off so easily, yet me who did nothing, was quiet, and respectful, became a threat. It was funny and didn't make sense, and that is why I knew I had been walking on egg shells with the AltsÑI had no understanding behind their judging criteria.
EPISODE 2:
This is the episode that I got to know Fiona very well. She had written a couple of books on Wicca. That morning, Fiona had to prepare for her ritual which was occurring later on the night. So to get to know her better, I read a few chapters in each of her books. It was interesting, and I was relieved in finding out that the pentagram she wore had nothing to do with Satan. That was my fear, that possibly some of the lifestyles had something to do with Satan, which would have been a limitation to my participation. The pentagram instead was about the 5 forces of balanceÑsomething of that nature. Fiona is a positive individual that really is focused on spirituality. Iya and Art share that same outlook on developing one's spirit.
Later on in the day, some of us had done yoga with Avocado. Avocado also explained to a lot of us about his diet of all raw foods and his love of herbs and nature. This was interesting to me because I grew up drinking herbal teas as a remedy for colds and sicknesses. I've never had any type of Western medicine like Tylenol. I grew up having herbs and dry plants boiled into tea as my medicine. I thought our similarity in the value of nature was pretty cool.
Witch Ceremony:
Fiona had asked me to help her setup for her witch ceremony. I gladly helped her bring her rocks and symbolic items down to the site. I later gathered the guests to go to the ceremony. Fiona explained the ceremony, and asked for 2 volunteers to be worshipped as gods of the ceremony. I guess that's fine if you're open to things, but I'm not the type of person that likes to go into events without knowing the meaning and I fear the results for making an unprepared decision. Brent and I decided not to join. Some of the others that chose to join later commented that they wished they didn't join. Mainly because they didn't want to publicly display their fears. Fears are a private thing to some people. Others that did join without a hesitation did not mind having the attention to play along with a ceremony they didn't know much about. All in all, I think Fiona's main point was to help the guests release their fears. She was very understanding in me not being able to participate because I explained to her that I do deal with my fears by praying and bringing them to the Lord. It really doesn't matter what way you deal with your fears, as long as you deal with them. During the ceremony, each guest shared their fears and released them by burning their scrolls. Noel sharing his scar was the most moving of all the guests. I felt so much heartache for him when he said that he was afraid of what people may think of him after seeing the scar. Many of us gave him hugs out of sheer appreciation for him to share the scar and his fear with us.
Naturist Trial:
The Naturist trial was like a classic concentration game where the guests had to match pictures of fruits that were hidden under the loin cloth of 30+nude people. The game was a little awkward for me at first because everyone had been nude, but it was really no big deal. Nichole won after a tie-breaker w/Tim.
Elimination:
Once again, somebody gave me a necklace. Three others had necklaces, but Art had given Kelly her second necklace which made her the guest to be eliminated. Kelly was upset, and left as dramatically as she had come in.
EPISODE 3:
Being in the House was not fun at all because the Alts, mainly Fiona, would continuously get into verbal conversations with me that would eventually turn into arguments. It was very emotionally draining because she had made no sense. Brent and I had been extremely respectful toward the Alts and their lifestyles. Most of the Alts were more prone to noticing every little action that Brent and I had done primarily because we were in the spotlight as Christians. It was frustrating knowing that all of the other guests were relaxing and doing anything as they pleased without the same criticism that Brent and I had continued to get. The other guests seemed to never feel the pressure during each of the elimination rounds because they expected that Brent or I would be the next that would be leaving.
The evening that Kelly had left, some conversations sparked from the guests about how participating was the judging criteria of who was to be eliminated. I must have been mistaken because I thought it was more on spiritually growing, and to me, I didn't think any of the guests were showing signs of spiritual growth. After all, it had only been a few days. But Brent and I seemed to show at least some sort of spiritual growth by being individuals instead of making ourselves subject to the desires of the Alts. We had our own mind, personality, and made our own decisions based on how we wanted to be. Speaking on my own behalf, I never have been challenged about my beliefs or who I was as an individual, and honestly, I was impressed by myself — that I knew what I wanted and who I wanted to be. That is empowering.
Again another conversation had sparked between Fiona and I. It got to the point where I just was tired of arguing. So, I kindly asked to go upstairs so that I can pack up my stuff to move to another room. Fiona followed me up to her room, and tried to talk to me. When I am upset, I need distance otherwise I would say things I would regret out of anger. I asked Fiona to please leave me alone at the moment, and she wouldn't. There were so many things running through my head, like, what is this lady doing? Why is she continuously causing drama? Why couldn't she bother somebody else for once? But I bit my tongue, and walked away from the situation knowing that doing so, would further Fiona's negative outlook on me.
The next day, Fiona thought she would have a more light-hearted ceremony where she would honor woman by having an all girls event. When Fiona had come to invite me to the ceremony, she pretty much asked me if I wanted to go, but said simply that she didn't want me to go because she thought I would ruin the event for the others. That really upset me because she assumed that because I was Christian, that I wouldn't be open to that type of event. To me, she passed a judgment based on me being Christian. I stood up for myself and told her to go ahead because I was sick of her picking on me. I don't know who she thinks she is, but apparently being an Alt means that she is all knowing and can push people around. After she had the left the room, I had continued my conversation with Art. I pointed out to him how she would just single me out in such an unfair way, and he just told me not to care about what she said. He told me that if I wanted to do it, then I should do it for myself. I agreed, and knew I had to go do it for myself. I ran to Fiona's room, and told her I wanted to join her. She first told me she didn't want me to be there, but luckily she saw that I was seriously open to being part of a woman honoring ceremony and allowed me to be a part of the event. I had a great time just relaxing and chatting with the girls. It was nice to see Fiona being more herself to me(the way she was to the other guests — more warm)and treating me like I was a girl not just a Christian.
Shopping Trip:
Eric, Brent, and I were the lucky guests to be able to leave the House and go grocery shopping with Art and Don. Those two Alts are hilarious. They're such great individuals and we all had fun going shopping. There were people staring at Art and Don, and one lady actually made a comment toward Art and Don: Don was the angel, and Art had been the devil. I had felt so horrible for Art. Eric told the lady that Art has one of the biggest hearts out of all of us, which was true. After we got home, I went to talk to Art because I felt so bad for him. I wished that lady didn't say that because I didn't want Art's feelings to be hurt. But Art had told me that he didn't care, and that he didn't let anybody or anything change his outlook of himself. I was impressed. Art is a man of true integrity and strength — somebody I can learn from.
Voodoo Trial:
I would say this was the most disgusting thing I've ever done in my life. I was cold, smelling like a mixture of fish guts, chicken intestines, and manure. It was horrible. After digging for quite sometime, I only could find 4 out of 5 items before Bonnie won the trial. It was great to see Bonnie happy. I LOVE that woman.
Before eliminations, all of the guests had a great time relaxing for once. It had been one whole afternoon that nobody brought up any topics about religion or Christianity to Brent or I, so it was GREAT! We all had a nice time and agreed to party hard at night for having a difficult first few days.
Elimination:
Surprise, surprise. Brent had gotten a total of 4 necklaces. I wasn't particularly surprised by 3 of them, but I was surprised that Art gave Brent a necklace. It seemed pretty ridiculous because I didn't think Brent did anything wrong. I thought it was too early for the Alts to say that Brent wouldn't be able to grow. In fact, most of the other guests had not shown grown one bit, and Brent at least had grown as an individual by sticking up for what he believed in. They were so blindsighted by focusing on the Christians that they didn't focus all that much on the other guests. For some reason, they couldn't have 2 Christians under one house. I'm not sure if I agreed with the Alts. It was a tough decision they had to make, and I was sad to see one of my buddies go.
|
|
|
|
EPISODE 4:
Tower Trial:
The tower was much taller in real life than what is seen on TV. It was very chilly outside, about 40 degrees or less, and Jamie and I had on shorts. I was under the impression that we were going to be climbing the tower, and doing something active. To my dismay, we stood hours on end in the tower as Tim, and some of the other alts taunted us. For such a tight-knit space, it was an annoyance rather than a trial. Jamie left first taking her chances, and I left because I was extremely cold. At this point, I can conclude that this show was not going to have anything fun or active for the trials. Tim won the trial after ~9 hours. He was lucky because his rudeness to Art and the other Alts would have gotten him eliminated this round.
Comments on watching the show:
I had no idea that the Alts had met to "bring darkness" in the House. Things were actually peaceful in the House, and it explains a lot now, why Fiona had seemed to have "mood swings"Ñshe did it on purpose to test the guests. I so respected Art in that circle. When he said that the Alts shouldn't "bring darkness", I thought he was right. Art really amazes me beyond words, and I wish that he gets the respect and praises beyond the "Hollywood" scope. Although I felt bad for Eric, I also felt a bit of relief as Fiona was putting the heat on another guest instead of on me.
On a side note, I disagree with Don and Avocado questioning my genuineness to tell Tim the honest truth about his behavior at the dinner table. Everybody had been trying to get a word in at him, and when I had done it, I was criticized as being "manipulative". Give me a break, if that were the case, I sure wouldn't have done it knowing that Tim had the power for a tie-breaker.
I am an outspoken woman, but only when it is necessary to me. Some people like to speak to hear themselves, and I frankly don't think there is a purpose to that.
Another side note: Bonnie found it interesting that her religious background was never brought up on any of the episodes, since it was the subject of many of her interviews. She is Jewish, and had very enlightening and spiritual talks with some of the Alts about her Jewish faith. This surprises me too since in the first few episodes, they heavily emphasized the fact that Brent and I were Christians that "wished everybody were Christians" and that "loved reading the Bible". Oh course that may be true, but I think that using those as the first words coming out of our mouths was a way to have the audience immediately stereotype us without any prior knowledge. Nobody's fault and no hard feelings, but Brent and I did get a few low blows on that one.
Elimination:
Wow. That is all I can say. After so many surprises and I would say, "tricks up their sleeves", the Alts let Bonnie go. I could NOT believe it. She had done nothing wrong. Does this confuse anybody else? HmmÉI'd say, this IS the Alts house. With judging criteria that can never be questioned nor answered. Bonnie was missed dearly by EVERYONE. I knew it was a tough decision because the Alts probably had somebody else in mind to eliminate, but again, I've lost another great friend from elimination.
Behind the Scenes:
First, I wanted to talk about the guests of the house. Many of us actually have had strong friendships leaving the house and that is why you see tears and sadness from the eliminations. I think that the show hasn't had enough time to show the true friendships so far between some of the Alts and the Guests, and some of the guests with each other. So to any confusion, some of the guests in the house are very close to each other, and have continued to stay in contact with their friendships and connection through this experience.
Also, I've continually made remarks about this, and that is that using spirituality and one's growth should not be a competition. There is no measuring this, and the openness of someone to trying things cannot be measured or compared to other people because everyone is differentÑin depth. The only thing that can be measure is effort, and that is something both Brent and I definitely gave.
Spirituality and growing is not a "game". Much of my frustration on the show was that I was competitive by nature, and wanted to win coming into the show, but with this premise, I could not compete. So in turn, one thing I knew was that if there was a reason for me to be on this show, like God had a purpose for me to be there, then I was going to make the best of my days, knowing that each round of elimination, I was prone to being eliminated. First episode, I was surprised and disappointed about getting the necklacesÑI was not going to be setting myself up to be disappointed again. So I felt like I'd be at peace with myself when eliminated if I made the best of my days, and that when the time was right, I'd be ready to leave. This is definitely a different perspective compared to my "winning" motive coming into this show.
What is also not seen is that many times, the Alts would discuss matters about Christians/Catholics in the past that would impose and force religion on people. This mainly happened when Europeans came to explore the Americas. Some of the Alts blame Christians/Catholics that conquered the lands and in turn, forced their religion onto the people of the land. An example of this is the Spanish Inquisition that was brought up by Art. Iya often brought up about how the British settlers brought slaves from Africa to the Americas, and may have also forced their Christian/Catholic religion onto the slaves. But understand this. The people of the past that came from Europe also came from another Era. People back then were greedy and hungry to make more money off of new land and people of other origins. These people were barbaric and human by nature because those were the times where people divided and conquered. I can safely say that the motive of those people were more selfish than out of love, which is what Jesus preaches. Although those Europeans may have done this by means of religion, we must understand that people are human by nature and blaming the whole of Christianity is not right. It is the people that did it, not the faith. In the Bible, Jesus shows love toward all people. "Love your neighbor". So I would like to say, that the Europeans that brought slaves to the Americas, and the Spanish Europeans that converted Native American Indians to Catholicism may have done this out of their own human choices/decisions to help themselves in selfish means. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to kill. Infact, "thou shalt not kill" is a commandment. If the Europeans at the time were killing, it was not in behalf of what was practiced in the Bible. To no way am I trying to justify what happened in the past, in fact, it does disgust me about how viscous humans can be, but I would like to say that it is difficult for me to accept the blame of the Christians in the past, because people of today are far more civilized in the way we think and treat each other, and in the past, people were far different in their selfish behavior. Their selfish behavior to benefit themselves should not be related to the Christian faith itself because they are separate, and true Christian faith to me is to practice selflessness and love toward others.
EPISODE 5:
Hanging Ritual:
Art's Hanging ritual was very spiritual, and it was a privilege for me to be part of it. This ritual lasted for close to an hour. I believe Art had done this ritual as a "right of passage". Watching each hook pierce through his skin was very difficult because the room was silent, and all you could hear was the hook going in. But as Art was hanging, he had such a peaceful look to him, that you couldn't help but feel at peace with him. It was very enlightening to see Art demonstrating "mind over matter". Nichole was chosen to be carried by Art. They swung back and forth, and I was amazed by how Art could hold onto her, and also by her being very gentle and respectful with the ritual.
The Hanging Ritual was supposed to be done outside, but it had been raining all day. After the ritual, we went outside and there had been a rainbow. The rainbow was gorgeous, and a lot of the Alts thought it was symbolic of Art's ritual. From my point of view, I definitely think that the rainbow added a nice touch to the ending of the ritual. The rainbow was a beautiful outcome from the heavy rain and storm, as Art's peaceful state and right of passage was an outcome after a visually painful hook hanging.
Trial:
Each of the guests had partnered up, and played as a dual team to untie knots, while linked together. Fiona had mentioned how important it was to win this trial, so I chose Eric because I knew that I had a better chance to win with Eric. We worked great as a team, and as we untied our knots first, we had to decide who was going to be the winner. Eric and I did rock-paper-scissors, and I won all 3 chances, and got to put the dagger on top the alter, which made me the winner. That was my first trial that I had won, and I was overly excited! But Fiona came up to me afterwards, and scolded me by saying that I wasn't the one that needed immunity. I have to disagree with her on that statement. There are 4 other alts judging, and there was no way of me knowing if I was safe. To me, nobody was safe from elimination in that house, and winning a trial was the only way I'd be guaranteed to be safe. I was glad I won no matter if I was going to be safe or not.
In Hindsight:
After watching each episode, I realize that the show was a game, and unfortunately since they overemphasized my Christian beliefs during the beginning of the show, that I just never played it as a game. I think each of Alts emphasized different judging criteria. I just got so encapsulated in the "this is more than just a game", and really just took things as face value. In hindsight, I realize that every guest came into the show, knowing that is was a game, and that everyone was there for the money, but when the premise was given, and "transformation/spirituality" was the criteria, the game tactics seem to be cloudy to me.
Explanation of the Guests feelings to Nichole:
Nichole is a very nice person, and I have no ill-will against her whatsoever. But I think the main reason why some of the guests, including myself, had a bad taste in our mouths about Nichole was because of her behavior at the beginning of the show. Much is this is not shown in the episodes. Her behavior was a bit over the top at times, and obnoxious. As the guests had shown a non-liking to this to Nichole, her behavior had altered as the negative attention had arisen to her. Nonetheless, I still stand by my comments made on the show, that I don't really know her. After spending quite some time with her, I have no idea of what she's about, but that doesn't really matter. I understand that her and some of the other guests had the game in mind, and getting to know me, is not really going to help in winning the game. Everyone's tactics on the show or game is different. For me, I am a very competitive person, but in this show, I never was able to compete because of the premonitions at the beginning of the game. So, making friends with the other guests was something that I enjoyed, and I never even thought of the "game" side of things. Now that I'm watching the show and seeing the behind the scenes interviews, I understand now that some of the guests had their "game face" on. Also, I can understand why Fiona grilled people as much as she didÑshe wanted to figure out who had on a "game face".
Elimination:
While sitting in deliberations, it was quite a privilege to hear what the Alts had to say about each guest. It was prevalent to me that Tim had the highest chance on leaving, but there was also a chance that there could be a tie. Tim ended off getting 3 necklaces, and had to leave. Tim is a very nice man, with good intentions
EPISODE 6:
Vampire Ritual:
Don brought his girlfriend and friend to participate in his ritual. All the guests had no idea what the ritual was going to be about, but Don had mentioned to us that it was going to be something that has never been televised and revealed from the Vampire Community.
First Don asked for a volunteer that had a problem area on their body. Nichole volunteered, and Don performed an energy transfer between him, his girlfriend, and Nichole's shoulder. Nichole said that she felt a change in temperature within her body, and felt cool and warm sensations.
Secondly, Don asked for another volunteer to get all their energy drained. Noel volunteered. Hearing that description about the ritual made me hesitant in volunteering because an energy drain can only be done using some kind of something that wasn't natural. Don and his friends joined forces in draining Noel's energy. Although it seemed very real to me that Noel had his energy drained, he later told the other guests that his collapse to the floor was a result of the three of them pushing him. I have no idea what happened, but all I know was that Noel fell to the floor, and then got up.
Lastly Don was going to drink his girlfriend's blood. Normally, he told us that he would use a knife-like metal finger nail thing(not sure what it's called). But for sanitary reasons, he was to use a syringe to extract the blood from his girlfriend. He drew some milliliters of blood and squirted it into a wine glass. Then he drank it slowly, and then bounced around with excitement. I am not squeamish at the sight of blood, but Don was very dramatic and slow on drinking the blood which made it look gruesome. The way Don acted was like what I had seen in movies where draculas would laugh in a "ha ha haaaa" deep laugh.
Some of the other Alts were acting a little out of character that evening. Fiona started laughing, and Iya was staring around the room while pounding her staff. Later on, Art and Avocado went around the house and used burnt sage to "neutralize" the house. The Alts were mentioning something about how dangerous the ritual was, and how it open the gates of something. Apparently something else was going on out of my understanding.
Naturist Trial:
Avocado gave all the guests 4 pieces of clothing to wear. We were not able to wear anything, but the items he gave us. When we joined him and the Alts outside for the trial, Avocado explained the trial as a "Let's get Naked"Ésounds pretty spiritual. Whoever got naked first would win the trial. Anyhow, each of the guests were to go to the garden and retrieve a plant that Avocado had requested. If the guests retrieved the correct item, then they were to remove 1 piece of clothing. All the guests were tied and upon the fourth item to be removed, I dismissed myself from the competition. The rest of the guests got nude and had to do a tiebreaker. Nichole won the trial by finding the aloe vera plant.
I knew that I wouldn't get nude for any amount of money. I am very comfortable with my body, but getting nude is something I will never do publcially — that is not me. I hoped that some of the Alts would respect me especially if they truly thought this experience was about finding oneself and growing spiritually toward being oneself. Honestly, this trial was a gameÑnothing to do with the beauty of the naked body. That is why I think Avocado has a two tracked mind. Sure, I think he is pretty cool about his dedication to raw food and appreciation for nature, but the other side of Avocado is best described as a used car salesmanÑkind of slimy. Give me a break, this trial was to bring ratings to the show, and had nothing to do with him being a Naturist.
Elimination:
Eric, Noel, Jamie, and I were very nervous. We were all so close as friends, and the best scenario was if Nichole were gone. But it was sad, one of us had to go, and we were enjoying our last moments together. At the ceremony, the Alts twisted the rules. They had the guests put necklaces on each other to determine who was going to leave. All of us would have put our necklaces on Nichole, but we couldn't, she was immune. I had to give the 1st necklace, and it was so difficult. I ended up giving it to Noel because I knew that nobody else would. Surprisingly, Eric gave his to Noel too. And then Jamie gave her necklace to Noel! I couldn't believe it. I had no idea that was going to happen! Then Nichole goes into some spiel about how she would have never given her necklace to Noel. She's not even friends with NoelÑwhatever. We all didn't want to give out necklacesÑis she kidding me? She's not friends with any of us, and it was funny how she was putting on a show like it was hard for her to give out a necklace. So then she comes over to me and tells me that the necklace is just a decoration, just how the Alts put it when they gave out necklaces. Is Nichole a paid actress to be on this show? What's going on? This experience is really exhausting me. The Alts revealed their twist by telling the guests that nobody was going to be eliminated because only the Alts can eliminate us. They just wanted to test the guests and see how the guests felt about each other. The funny thing is that the Alts didn't really get to see how the guests felt about each other because the guests weren't allowed to give the necklace to the person they wanted to give it to due to immunity.
After Watching the Show:
I appreciate how the Alts were looking out for the guests when they thought that this week's ritual put all of us in danger. When Art and Avocado went around to sage everything, it was for good intentions and to protect the house. That showed how much they cared for the guests. Also, I appreciated Fiona and Iya for respecting my decision on not taking off my clothes. I respect Art for being respectfully nude and not making his nudity a public affair.
|
|
|
|
EPISODE 7:
It disgusts me to watch the show, and I am rather upset about how they've made me out to be throughout the show, but I know I have to finish what I started about sharing my experiences.
Nyquil:
Noel had some situation with Iya about him taking Nyquil. Iya asked me about it. I had no idea that Nyquil was a serious matter. I've never taken any western medicine before so I didn't think taking Nyquil for sleep was a big deal. Call me a FOB(fresh off the boat), but I grew up never taking Tylenol or any of those medicines — my grandfathers were herbal doctors so I only drank herbal medicine teas. A casual conversation between Iya and I put me in the middle of a conflict between Noel and Iya. Noel was upset with me.
Shopping:
Shopping was fun. Don helped me choose out a black dress to wear to his blood trial.
Blood Trial:
This was the first trial that I could control the outcome. If I drank the fastest I would win. I received 5 glasses of blood — 2 from Noel, 1 from Nichole, 1 from Don, and 1 from Jamie. I won.
Elimination:
Noel got eliminated. Although not apparent on the show, I was sad to see him go. I enjoyed our friendship up until the part where he got upset with me and changed his behavior toward me. I had never seen Noel upset, especially with me, so I questioned what was going on. Oh well, I still see him as a friend despite his rude comments about me and our mishap.
Afterthoughts:
Who is the real Loana? It's hard for me to watch the show because it depicts me as so many negative characters and I'm not sure if I should be laughing or crying. I thought things couldn't really get any worse than stereotyping me as the ignorant backstabbing Christian at the beginning, but apparently making drama is another thing I'm good at. Are there any other angles they can work here? One thing I do learn from all of this negativeness is to be more hesitant on what I see on TV, and also to appreciate how blessed I am to have such loving family and friends(especially Nathan) and how God does bless me with so many other things. I have learned to know what is really important in life. Nonetheless, I can't wait to see who they make me out to be next week...
On a happier note:
Bill from Chicago won the Apprentice last night. I am so happy for him and he represents Chicago well. Both Kwame and him were great, but I can't help but cheer on the Chicagoan. Watching the Apprentice made me feel better in knowing that there are good shows on television, and those are the only ones people watch.
EPISODE 8:
Does the show make sense to anyone? Well, it shouldn't. The sequence of events are so out of order. Not only that, I just realized the only reason why the show depicted my so poorly on this episode and the last episode was because they needed a reason to have me kicked off. From my own memory, and some of the other guests can attest to this, is that I left because I had enough and wanted to leave.
Roommate Selection:
First of all, the scene where I'm sobbing is from the aftermath of Fiona and my fight(read later), not because I didn't get selected. The only reason why I wanted a roommate was because I didn't want to sleep by myself in the dormÑthe episodes don't show the scenes of where the Alts and others were telling haunting stories of the house. I didn't want to sleep by myself having those ghost stories in the back of my head.
Avocado's Ritual-Exchanging of Gifts:
Nichole sang. It's funny how they show her singing now opposed to how she sang since the beginning of the show and continuously expressed her interest in becoming a singer. Understand why Eric said Nichole acted like she was on "Star Search"? Nonetheless, her rapping to Avocado was funny, but her actual solo to Eric was not too bad. Eric gave Nichole the honor gift, and gave Jamie the negative one. It was somewhat apparent to me that he was using strategy in choosing his gifts. Jamie and I gave our positive gifts to Art and Iya. I truly believe that these gifts came from the heart. If Jamie and I wanted to kiss up, we would have given our gifts to the Alts that had the most problems with us rather than the ones we loved.
Witch Trial:
The trial was close. It actually went on for 1-2 hours between Nichole and I. It was very cold outside and Nichole ended off winning. The fight between Fiona and I stemmed from this trial.
I had some discrepancies between my answer for one question and the real answer. The reason why also was because I would have won the trial if my answer, which was the correct answer, had not been mistaken. I confronted the games producer and Fiona. I knew it was not Fiona's fault, but this is where we started our verbal argument. I came upstairs to talk to her. She was upset because she thought I didn't appreciate her. I think she was upset that I gave Iya the gift instead of her at Avocado's ceremony. But think about it, why do you think I'm crying? There are only 2 things that make me very upset: if you insult my family or if you insult my religionÑboth the most important things in my life. You guess what happened because I don't want to open up a can of worms that went down between Fiona and I. There is a reason why I was crying like a hyena(they apparently cut this scene to add to an inaccurate drama scene in the roommate selection).
There are many things that are not shown in the episodes which really upset me. They do not show any moments where they have talked negatively toward Christians, which made me feel like they were blaming meÑafter the Witch trials, Fiona was "educating" us by telling the guests that the Christians persecuted the witches at the Salem Witch Trials. Art shared about the Spanish Inquisition and how Catholics pushed their faith on the Indians. Iya shared about how slaves were forced to change their African religions to Christianity on the slave boats coming to America. Sure, maybe this happened, but I felt like they were blaming me. Can anybody put one and one together that a lot of times, I was put in a very difficult situation being labeled as the Christian?
Rose mistake:
Eric had given Fiona a secret rose. Fiona had assumed that it was a peace-offering that I had given her. Jamie had said that it looked like my handwriting. Fiona got upset that I didn't give her the rose. I was still upset about her calling me what she did about me as a Christian. Another point in the show that I got singled out, and was wronged.
Side Note:
Notice how I understood that Jamie telling Fiona it looked like my handwriting was a mistake and how Eric not telling Fiona about the rose until I got in trouble was also out of no intention. That is why last episode with Noel getting upset with me over a mistake was just stupid to me because I don't blame people for mistakes they didn't mean. I know in my particular instance, it was Fiona that did the assuming so I will displace all my negative emotions toward her direction in this instance.
Elimination:
They did not show the plea. The plea is where each of the guests went to the deliberation room to give their plea on why they should stay in the house. I pretty much told the Alts in my plea that I had a pleasant time in the house learning, and that I am ready to bring home the things I learnedÑmeaning let me go home. Oh course, they don't show that. I received 3 necklaces and was glad to be out of that house. A weight was lifted from me. The only thing that saddened me was that, even though I had a hard time in the house, I also had some nice times so it was sad to say goodbye. But the goodbyes weren't too short-lived because they bring all the guests for the final episode, which they will show next Thursday, Apr 29.
At this point, I'm hoping that the viewers catch on to the inconsistencies of how they portrayed my character. Why would I be the nice quiet Christian girl, then the bad scheming Asian girl, and at the ending, why did everyone give me a farewell hug like they loved me? I think they want to use me as a scapegoat, by trying to play up all the possible stereotypes out there. Believe me, the inconsistencies are wrong, but you are obliged to have your own opinions of me.
Well I have not been looking at the BBoards because I know that there are hate mail posted about me, but I've realized that me taking it personally would be like I actually believed how they portrayed me was accurate. Since that is obviously not the case, I'm not going to even think twice about the criticism because they are criticizing the character the show made me out to be, not who I really am.
Moment of Silence:
I just wanted to acknowledge all of the men and women who serve in the US Army. Pat Tillman was killed in action in Afghanistan yesterday. I thank him and all the other US citizens who have given up their lives to serve our nation and fight for the freedom we have today.
|
|
|
