even using some punctuation here
it just isnt working
is this a joke?
i thought i was the comedian i had the stage
no
i am the dummy not the ventriloquist
i cant evolve im eating
it doesnt seem right somehow
where is she
i sound stupid
and repetitive
once again with the chorus
can i deal with this
i suppose so
now
im afraid though
i can barely deal with this right now
what about tomorrow
or in a week lord help me
skin
nice stuff that keeps your internal organs in
i wanna go home
take off this uniform and leave the show
but im waiting in this cell because i have to know
have i been guilty all this time
yes
crickets are chirping in the background
dont you dare
its just that i dont...
i will give you everything
in return for nothing
it hurts
one of those moments when you look at the sky and think about the fact
that you were having a moment when all was well with the world and now,
because you noticed its over?
such nervousness in the world
i guess thats all we have to look forward to
no hard feelings ok
i wish i could have seen this coming
i wish even more that i could see where this is going
do i have a destination
can i jump the train
good lord the smell is still on me...
showered and it didnt help
impressions on the mind are forever
laziest afternoon of my life
possibly the most memorable
and i cannot forget
and i cannot sleep
and i cannot die
and i cannot live
and i cannot understand
and i cannot continue this way
only shades of gray not black or white
it is the dance that we dance
the dance of rebirth and death and wonder
sorry
lost track (and field) there
i wish i could stop laughing
who is it there in my mind that tells me these things
why cant i see anything
no matter how i try it always comes out a laugh
nothingness shows through
im intelligent
can i be evil
im intelligent
can i be good
or am i lost forever
nothing lasts forever (except batman)
acetone and old lace
i forgive you for you transgressions into my domain
feel free to transgress again
i wish i knew
all my fault its my generation yeah thats it
no role models
too many role models
hangups and dial tones

sad premise for a movie
sad premise for a life
i wonder who would play me?
or am i being played and i dont know it
should i guess it and act accordingly
or accordionly?
so beautiful
not the accordions
accordingly
where did all the ideals go
i cannot explain this is not how i am
i have become comfortably numb (please?)
let me be numb
college has changed my life
no my life has changed anyway just coincidence
more random emotional responses than my entire life combined previous to
freshman year...
highs and lows and nutrasweet
found a family and friends and lovers...
learned a bit or byte more about myself
discovered that life is a lot more about living than being
discovered more about myself than i would like
so afraid she is going to suddenly look up and say
oops i thought you were someone else
ill be going now
no nonononononononononononononononono
if it werent for bad dreams
am i stable (tectonically i mean)
or am i merely a pasture
for cows (karls)
one moment in time
frozen
cant we stop the clock
yes the plug is over there but it wont help the time thing
tell me about it
ok i will
ono you dont
let me up please
why arent you enjoying yourself; i am
i assure you so am i
the thoughts of a lunatic
save this webpage when they go to court you can present this as evidence
that i needed a bigger refrigerator
free form
nothing in this letter means anything
only opinions (or onions)
no obligations or money down
0% financing
maybe thats the right idea
run away run away
it looks confused maybe we should run away some more
paranoia sets in now
because she doesnt answer mail for one day...
im gonna scream
or not
its too late in the house to scream
its too late in the relationship too
insecurity guard needed
i shudder to think about my anxiety closet right about now
god i cant see the screen anymore im typing by touch only
here we go
i think i may actually be zonked enough to sleep
the couch looks inviting
the bed looks empty

dIsCoRd

-even admist all of this i have the presence of mind to sign my name
and attach my .sig, however stupid

-this alone should be indicative of my sanity