http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/index.htmlKeep up with Kevin Vaughnenkevin.vaughn@gmail.comCopyright 2007 Kevin Vaughn2008-01-22T18:27:03+01:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:02:28 +0100Kevin Vaughnkevin.vaughn@gmail.comkevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2008-01-22T18:27:03+01:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/553d6656834c790e7844b21bc670568d-34.html#unique-entry-id-34http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/553d6656834c790e7844b21bc670568d-34.html#unique-entry-id-34bohemia verse play, in which one of the characters will not speak to me. One night, before I went to sleep, I asked her why. She whispered simply: Just write me. When I come to it, her voice will be Also, I've picked up the tempo on my book of Star Trek poems. As a book, I definitely believe that those poems have a direction now. They, not I have charted their course. Though the end is not yet in sight, I do feel like I am holding onto something that has weight. That is something. Edit: As I was writing this, the news was published that Heath Ledger was found dead. One of the few truly actors of my generation is dead at 28 years old from pneumonia. I've never been one to mourn those persons that I didn't know, but this is a very sobering instance. Rest in peace, Mr. Ledger. I know that I've used his lyrics on my blog before, but I thought that it would be appropriate. from the Brokeback Mountain Soundrack, One more chain I break To get me closer to you One more chain does the maker make To keep me from bustin' through One more notch I scratch To keep me thinkin' of you One more notch does the maker make Upon my face so blue ...]]>kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-12-11T18:37:31+01:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/b1034064929aa39d691c3d4a5b545058-32.html#unique-entry-id-32http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/b1034064929aa39d691c3d4a5b545058-32.html#unique-entry-id-32kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-12-10T17:46:35+01:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/ddcffaf2a55ec5e6b9f7ed4c80ae4ff5-31.html#unique-entry-id-31http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/ddcffaf2a55ec5e6b9f7ed4c80ae4ff5-31.html#unique-entry-id-31kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-12-10T17:15:05+01:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/627b58622352cbcdedb3e18f429723a1-30.html#unique-entry-id-30http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/627b58622352cbcdedb3e18f429723a1-30.html#unique-entry-id-30the first impulse, no matter how sublimated it becomes. So, a Mars in retrograde means that we become more introspective and reflective. Not all at once, not all in the same way, for a variety of reasons that a reader will likely either already know, or find tedious. Self-reflection can be a great thing, but often a retrograde Mars will send us delving deeper into ourselves and into our pasts than we feel comfortable. Old childhood trauma, bad relationships - any scar - seems to flare up too often in our memories. It frustrates us and we cannot seem to put it aside, affecting our focus. On the whole, very little seems to get done during a Mars retrograde. In fact, the very opposite might be true. We may just find ourselves overcompensating and piling work on top of work, just to remain ahead of ourselves. Still, we do keep chugging quite along on our orbit, but it isn't until we are readjusted that we see how far we've come. So, tonight, I raise a glass of Scots to Mars and hope for days of greater direction and productivity.]]>kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-11-25T02:42:32+01:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/b28987fb6acc16a37d27d2c0f4659fb5-29.html#unique-entry-id-29http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/b28987fb6acc16a37d27d2c0f4659fb5-29.html#unique-entry-id-29I'm going to a town that has already been burned down I'm going to a place that is already been disgraced I'm gonna see some folks who have already been let down. I'm so tired of America I'm gonna make it up for all of the Sunday Times I'm gonna make it up for all of the nursery rhymes They never really seem to want to tell the truth I'm so tired of you America I played that song on continuous loop at least 50 times over 2 days. It lullabyed me and was the soundtrack for my dreams. Then, one night, it occurred to me that I didn't have to wait for eventually. There was no reason to return to New York, to find what so many of my friends had - work that was inconsistent, that they disliked and which leeched away from their time to be creative. It wasn't just the chaos of my return, or my beneficent solitude. It felt that either I, or the country had changed.... In spite of all its faults, I was always confident, that there were certain lines that America and its citizens wouldn't cross, much less step backwards toward. After all the countries that I've seen and people I've met, I believed that America and Americans were those most likely to make strides - sometimes too short, sometimes too long - to remain vigilant in their attempts to create a more just society. But, I arrived back home to the Jena 6, to nooses being used to intimidate black professors at my own ivy league university.... I bristled at the semantics of the evening news casts and the slant and cowardice of even the "liberal media", both of whom seemed to be capitulating to an agenda whose word choice seemed to be dictated by some gun, slightly off the margin. The will to riot and revolution had been slowly eroded and sapped of its vitality. But the angry and dangerous people - the people who hang those nooses on doors and from trees - I found them to be as angry and dangerous as ever - and suddenly less reticent. Never, have I found a place which I could truly call home. Somewhere to which I could return and be peaceful, without the need for personal translation. One day, during my time in the South of France, I was shaving and felt my high cheekbones, which had always been cherubic and firm were softer and hung just a hair lower.... While not old, I realized that I was not a baby anymore. The nomadic life that I lived, that I did not believe suited me, but I lived because I made a promise to myself some years ago when I decided to live a life centered around poetry, to wake up some place beautiful, could not go on forever - my urges towards a stable mailing address and (still beautiful) vista, partnership and the dream of a family, while not overwhelming grew ever stronger. It was time to find a new visionplace, time to search for home. As Wainwright sings in his refrain to "Going to a Town": Making my own way home Ain't gonna be alone I got a life to lead America I got a life to lead I got a soul to feed I got a dream to heed And that's all I need In a letter from my friend Emmanuelle, who moved for a time to Montreal, but will soon be returning to Paris, she praised my relocation and welcomed me to my new life.]]>kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPoetry2007-10-10T05:20:21+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/3174a9649074df07199fcc6469d04f69-26.html#unique-entry-id-26http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/3174a9649074df07199fcc6469d04f69-26.html#unique-entry-id-26Degrees of Gray in Philipsburg - Richard Hugo You might come here Sunday on a whim. Say your life broke down. The last good kiss you had was years ago. You walk these streets laid out by the insane, past hotels that didn't last, bars that did, the tortured try of local drivers to accelerate their lives. Only churches are kept up. The jail turned 70 this year. The only prisoner is always in, not knowing what he's done. The principal supporting business now is rage. Hatred of the various grays the mountain sends, hatred of the mill, The Silver Bill repeal, the best liked girls who leave each year for Butte. One good restaurant and bars can't wipe the boredom out. The 1907 boom, eight going silver mines, a dance floor built on springs-- all memory resolves itself in gaze, in panoramic green you know the cattle eat or two stacks high above the town, two dead kilns, the huge mill in collapse for fifty years that won't fall finally down. Isn't this your life? That ancient kiss still burning out your eyes? Isn't this defeat so accurate, the church bell simply seems a pure announcement: ring and no one comes? Don't empty houses ring? Are magnesium and scorn sufficient to support a town, not just Philipsburg, but towns of towering blondes, good jazz and booze the world will never let you have until the town you came from dies inside? Say no to yourself. The old man, twenty when the jail was built, still laughs although his lips collapse. Someday soon, he says, I'll go to sleep and not wake up. You tell him no. You're talking to yourself. The car that brought you here still runs. The money you buy lunch with, no matter where it's mined, is silver and the girl who serves your food is slender and her red hair lights the wall.]]>kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-10-05T22:57:59+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/325dac1ba6d23b9c6b8999abc90960aa-25.html#unique-entry-id-25http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/325dac1ba6d23b9c6b8999abc90960aa-25.html#unique-entry-id-25kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-08-30T07:22:22+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/3e9f1c70e0eedc4f3fa8ccef09cce0e2-23.html#unique-entry-id-23http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/3e9f1c70e0eedc4f3fa8ccef09cce0e2-23.html#unique-entry-id-23kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-08-28T19:45:40+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/84a61df414dcfcf68d0b5c465c6ed4c7-22.html#unique-entry-id-22http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/84a61df414dcfcf68d0b5c465c6ed4c7-22.html#unique-entry-id-22all slanted and some of it likely the reason I've encountered so many loons (ironically, a good number of them Germans) who feel that the September 11th attacks were the U.S. equivalent of the Reichstag fire. I read the BBC because, well, I can. But for a nation who is America's primary partner in its misdeeds around the world (and this was before Iraq and Afghanistan) their news services has a decidedly conservative, post-colonial slant on American life and politics that seems to bleed smugly through every sentence. If you don't believe me, read the headline and the last three paragraphs of any story written on the BBC website about the Americas, or India. That distaste in your mouth is British smugness. The truth is that everything is slanted and the only way to truly know a country is to be there and to live amongst its people. I have also learned that the number of those countries where I would feel comfortable - nay, tolerated - are fewer than I would have believed just a year ago. I am going to end that particular rant, because, this entry isn't about politics. It's a farewell to a place that I once came to so that I contemplate my life and trajectory. I returned to the same region to heal and become sound after Poland. Each time, this region time transformed myself and my work. It alleviated the world that brought me stress long enough for me to become strong and regain a sense of my own purpose. I don't know what one does to thank a place. I've met great people in this year. I know that such connections can be transient, but I hope that they aren't. I hope that the are a load that I can carry joyfully with me through my other travels and homecomings.]]>kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-08-19T22:48:45+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/eed1dc3503b522adf5f42606e3ccd5c1-21.html#unique-entry-id-21http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/eed1dc3503b522adf5f42606e3ccd5c1-21.html#unique-entry-id-21kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-08-12T06:19:48+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/f7acd6b34a15988dfa8f58a55ddb2265-20.html#unique-entry-id-20http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/f7acd6b34a15988dfa8f58a55ddb2265-20.html#unique-entry-id-20kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-08-11T20:16:48+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/41402214e423d2da2876bbe07b0d9d48-19.html#unique-entry-id-19http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/41402214e423d2da2876bbe07b0d9d48-19.html#unique-entry-id-19kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-08-10T02:05:32+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/c90c5e6cbc9747096226b9c91a91e8b8-18.html#unique-entry-id-18http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/c90c5e6cbc9747096226b9c91a91e8b8-18.html#unique-entry-id-18kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-08-07T17:21:32+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/77171d4d395f62c083b287ba6e78201e-17.html#unique-entry-id-17http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/77171d4d395f62c083b287ba6e78201e-17.html#unique-entry-id-17kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-08-06T03:58:16+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/cd5443c7eedb3ed4ead264175b0c9389-16.html#unique-entry-id-16http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/cd5443c7eedb3ed4ead264175b0c9389-16.html#unique-entry-id-16kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-07-28T03:15:08+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/b9742f3f93d9f23664bf323b69a0e6f6-15.html#unique-entry-id-15http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/b9742f3f93d9f23664bf323b69a0e6f6-15.html#unique-entry-id-15kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-07-27T02:10:54+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/db3ac6fec4d2779a28e99d9bf0768b76-14.html#unique-entry-id-14http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/db3ac6fec4d2779a28e99d9bf0768b76-14.html#unique-entry-id-14kevin.vaughn@gmail.comHumor2007-07-26T04:45:55+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/5f85bf42053f976cdb4771c81d73a0a4-13.html#unique-entry-id-13http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/5f85bf42053f976cdb4771c81d73a0a4-13.html#unique-entry-id-13kevin.vaughn@gmail.comHumor2007-07-26T04:29:18+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/8736e7ae747b578ddfa3f67a6e513cc5-12.html#unique-entry-id-12http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/8736e7ae747b578ddfa3f67a6e513cc5-12.html#unique-entry-id-12kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPoetry2007-07-26T04:25:46+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/88349dfbfb297802de5938969b4f9f1f-11.html#unique-entry-id-11http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/88349dfbfb297802de5938969b4f9f1f-11.html#unique-entry-id-11kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-07-24T20:10:00+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/%20%20.html#unique-entry-id-10http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/%20%20.html#unique-entry-id-10kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-07-24T01:05:19+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/710fa1d78f39a7aa3fa535ca69dc75e5-9.html#unique-entry-id-9http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/710fa1d78f39a7aa3fa535ca69dc75e5-9.html#unique-entry-id-9kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPoetry2007-07-24T00:52:49+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/8fc14f33992520ebe06c6c094c0c2643-8.html#unique-entry-id-8http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/8fc14f33992520ebe06c6c094c0c2643-8.html#unique-entry-id-8kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-07-11T01:03:56+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/6a9afcb085abbb7cfd9be3566153b040-7.html#unique-entry-id-7http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/6a9afcb085abbb7cfd9be3566153b040-7.html#unique-entry-id-7kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-07-08T03:43:01+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/25dc0c6fec01394cf6b8564ae49e4a4e-6.html#unique-entry-id-6http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/25dc0c6fec01394cf6b8564ae49e4a4e-6.html#unique-entry-id-6kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-06-27T19:39:47+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/8d9096107aecc5c0846ed2b992bd3861-5.html#unique-entry-id-5http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/8d9096107aecc5c0846ed2b992bd3861-5.html#unique-entry-id-5kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-06-13T21:48:50+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/c6d802faebfe75d36e29adce0868fa2e-4.html#unique-entry-id-4http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/c6d802faebfe75d36e29adce0868fa2e-4.html#unique-entry-id-4kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPoetry2007-06-10T18:36:46+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/5dc1bf9055927d43cb09bcf32f2f5f0f-3.html#unique-entry-id-3http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/5dc1bf9055927d43cb09bcf32f2f5f0f-3.html#unique-entry-id-3kevin.vaughn@gmail.comPersonal2007-06-07T15:00:28+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/08880c42284c62a5c3d9e02eb442a8ea-1.html#unique-entry-id-1http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/08880c42284c62a5c3d9e02eb442a8ea-1.html#unique-entry-id-1kevin.vaughn@gmail.comBlog2007-06-06T01:26:10+02:00http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/425987a2637286732c054bbe7fa4445e-0.html#unique-entry-id-0http://homepage.mac.com/kevin.vaughn/My%20Website/page1/files/425987a2637286732c054bbe7fa4445e-0.html#unique-entry-id-0