A little wine with your demons from years past?
My great friend Erik A. is one of those friends that I
only see every so often. Not because we don't like each other, but
because.....well, I don't know. Maybe he is such an intense personality that I
can only take small doses. Or, he is a bit of a recluse, so I only get him out
every so often......It isn't important, the thing is we have been friends for
pretty much a decade at this point, and he knows a lot of shit about my life and
vice versa.
I got a call from his gf last week, seeing if I had a waiting position open at the restaurant. I called her back to let her know I didn't even have enough positions for the people who worked now, let alone another. Then I asked, "How are you?" yadda yadda......turns out, they broke up, she's upset, but moving on, hopes we (her and I and the Hub) can still be friends etc, etc. As I think she is fabulous, I agree. Hey......I am going to this industry wine tasting on Monday, the Hub was supposed to be my date but he has to go out of town on work, wanna come? Turns out she already has plans in the tone of possible dance instruction gig, hey....Why not ask Erik? He loves that stuff and it would be good for him to get out of the house.
I met Erik when we worked at the Old Spaghetti Factory together, YEARS ago, in fact, almost exactly 10 years ago to this day (can't remember the exact date). I had a crush on his stupid 19-year-old body and as is the way with my life at that time, he fell in love with my roommate and she vice-versa. And I got over it, which is a lovely feeling (Although that doesn't mean I wasn't highly embarrassed when Erik brought up an incident that I had buried in my subconscious mind, hoping never to resurface). But, they also got over it, broke up, she married someone else, had a kid, he moved on, found a new love, and I maintained friendships with both people.
When Erik, the college roommate, and I, worked at The Spag together, we had a co-worker who ended up receiving the nickname Ernie (my roommate picked it out – she once drove to work behind a car that had an Ernie doll, from Ernie and Bert, in the back of the window, and came to work only to see Ernie in an orange and red striped shirt with crazy hair) and it stuck. He even answered to it. Well, Ernie came to a party of mine with a friend who I ended up dating, and now, subsequently, the friend and I are married (to be known as The Hub). But, Once Upon A Time I had a thing for Ernie. God, we have a lot of hormones when we are in our 20s, don't we? ANYWAY, back to the wine tasting.
So, I asked Erik, and he decided to go. It was held at one of those shmancy clubs, so we had to dress up a little. He shows up today, we go and it is a TOTAL BLAST. Erik likes to randomly touch people and see the reaction he gets, or just verbalize what is going on in his mind to everyone, add a little wine to that and it makes for an interesting evening. Being a trade event, I had a name tag with my restaurant and I had to be professional. Aside from that, I have done the "get loaded at a tasting" before and it isn't pretty. I did a lot of pouring and a decent amount of spitting. Erik did a lot more drinking and a lot less spitting, so he was a little loopy by the end. Good thing he was driving!
**WINE TASTING NOTES**
Ok, there was a lot of decent stuff, and most I have tasted before, and there was a lot of just ok stuff....but the serious highlight was Dashe Cellars. California winery, wine maker was the assistant wine maker at Ridge for years, makes fabulous Zin and their Sangiovese from the Lytton Spring vineyard was amazing but the Merlot.......oh, baby....KILLER. So, Dashe Cellars Potter Vineyard Merlot, 2001, retails around $30/bottle, is a must have.
But, back to the story. After the wine tasting, we decide to get a bite to eat. And, as is our way, we talked about the past and the present and sex, and sex, and sex, and sex with people in the past and in the present. One New Year's Eve, the roommate, Erik, Ernie and I went out, but since we all worked in restaurants we didn't get out until after midnight. So we had to post-function at my apartment. The roommate and Erik stayed out for a bit, but then went back to her room to get rowdy leaving me and Ernie all to our lonesome. Now, we had flirted a lot in the past, and even talked about meeting up one night at a fave pub, but I showed and he didn't, two weeks later he was dating someone else from work. So, I gave up on him. Fast forward to New Year's Eve 1996. Ernie and that other waitress broke up. I was single too, but not expecting anything more than friendship to happen. That night however, he was extra flirty, and after our friends went to bed, we got even more flirty. He even reached over a time or two, as we were drinking and kissed me. However, he was just reaching to my shirt to......god, I don't even know, look down it? and Erik came out of the bedroom to get some water and caught us. OOPS
So, Erik goes back to bed, and Ernie kisses me another time and it just getting good and he suddenly stops, gets up and says, "I have to go." Then, with some further entreaties from me to stay, he does just what he said he was going to do, and he leaves. Of course, the next day the Roommate and Erik give me shit about what was seen, and ask me what happened. Since I was embarrassed down to the bottom of my soul, I deny everything. And I continue to deny things for years.
How unappealing can one person to be, to get rejected twice?
So, tonight, since the Ernie topic comes up, I tell Erik the full REALLY COMPLETELY TRUE story along with the admission of how it made me feel very ugly and undesirable. Well, who really knows what Ernie felt, but Erik seems to think that perhaps, Ernie was intimidated by me, and scared of his desire and just lost it and left. Not one bit of this conjecture can really be proven without asking Ernie - and I am certainly not about to start, so I don't actually know what the real thought was behind his leaving. I once told The Hub most of this story and weirdly enough, I don't even remember what he had to say about it, except to flip me shit about kissing Ernie.
I also wonder what Ernie thinks about this very successful relationship he ended up creating by introducing me to The Hub? Since Ernie is another one of those people who drift in and out of my life, I probably won't ever know. Especially as The Hub is much better about keeping in touch with him (of course, Ernie never kissed him a few times on New Year's Eve and then abruptly departed).
Here is the best part: I sincerely doubt that I ever would have gotten to meet my husband, if it wasn't for the fact that Ernie left that night, rather than staying. Since The Hub is much MUCH more grounded and good and......so many things positive, and just a miniscule amount negative, I am so very thankful. I am VERY lucky in my life.
Although in my heart of hearts, I want to know what the hell was so bad that Ernie just had to jump up and leave.
bastard
I got a call from his gf last week, seeing if I had a waiting position open at the restaurant. I called her back to let her know I didn't even have enough positions for the people who worked now, let alone another. Then I asked, "How are you?" yadda yadda......turns out, they broke up, she's upset, but moving on, hopes we (her and I and the Hub) can still be friends etc, etc. As I think she is fabulous, I agree. Hey......I am going to this industry wine tasting on Monday, the Hub was supposed to be my date but he has to go out of town on work, wanna come? Turns out she already has plans in the tone of possible dance instruction gig, hey....Why not ask Erik? He loves that stuff and it would be good for him to get out of the house.
I met Erik when we worked at the Old Spaghetti Factory together, YEARS ago, in fact, almost exactly 10 years ago to this day (can't remember the exact date). I had a crush on his stupid 19-year-old body and as is the way with my life at that time, he fell in love with my roommate and she vice-versa. And I got over it, which is a lovely feeling (Although that doesn't mean I wasn't highly embarrassed when Erik brought up an incident that I had buried in my subconscious mind, hoping never to resurface). But, they also got over it, broke up, she married someone else, had a kid, he moved on, found a new love, and I maintained friendships with both people.
When Erik, the college roommate, and I, worked at The Spag together, we had a co-worker who ended up receiving the nickname Ernie (my roommate picked it out – she once drove to work behind a car that had an Ernie doll, from Ernie and Bert, in the back of the window, and came to work only to see Ernie in an orange and red striped shirt with crazy hair) and it stuck. He even answered to it. Well, Ernie came to a party of mine with a friend who I ended up dating, and now, subsequently, the friend and I are married (to be known as The Hub). But, Once Upon A Time I had a thing for Ernie. God, we have a lot of hormones when we are in our 20s, don't we? ANYWAY, back to the wine tasting.
So, I asked Erik, and he decided to go. It was held at one of those shmancy clubs, so we had to dress up a little. He shows up today, we go and it is a TOTAL BLAST. Erik likes to randomly touch people and see the reaction he gets, or just verbalize what is going on in his mind to everyone, add a little wine to that and it makes for an interesting evening. Being a trade event, I had a name tag with my restaurant and I had to be professional. Aside from that, I have done the "get loaded at a tasting" before and it isn't pretty. I did a lot of pouring and a decent amount of spitting. Erik did a lot more drinking and a lot less spitting, so he was a little loopy by the end. Good thing he was driving!
**WINE TASTING NOTES**
Ok, there was a lot of decent stuff, and most I have tasted before, and there was a lot of just ok stuff....but the serious highlight was Dashe Cellars. California winery, wine maker was the assistant wine maker at Ridge for years, makes fabulous Zin and their Sangiovese from the Lytton Spring vineyard was amazing but the Merlot.......oh, baby....KILLER. So, Dashe Cellars Potter Vineyard Merlot, 2001, retails around $30/bottle, is a must have.
But, back to the story. After the wine tasting, we decide to get a bite to eat. And, as is our way, we talked about the past and the present and sex, and sex, and sex, and sex with people in the past and in the present. One New Year's Eve, the roommate, Erik, Ernie and I went out, but since we all worked in restaurants we didn't get out until after midnight. So we had to post-function at my apartment. The roommate and Erik stayed out for a bit, but then went back to her room to get rowdy leaving me and Ernie all to our lonesome. Now, we had flirted a lot in the past, and even talked about meeting up one night at a fave pub, but I showed and he didn't, two weeks later he was dating someone else from work. So, I gave up on him. Fast forward to New Year's Eve 1996. Ernie and that other waitress broke up. I was single too, but not expecting anything more than friendship to happen. That night however, he was extra flirty, and after our friends went to bed, we got even more flirty. He even reached over a time or two, as we were drinking and kissed me. However, he was just reaching to my shirt to......god, I don't even know, look down it? and Erik came out of the bedroom to get some water and caught us. OOPS
So, Erik goes back to bed, and Ernie kisses me another time and it just getting good and he suddenly stops, gets up and says, "I have to go." Then, with some further entreaties from me to stay, he does just what he said he was going to do, and he leaves. Of course, the next day the Roommate and Erik give me shit about what was seen, and ask me what happened. Since I was embarrassed down to the bottom of my soul, I deny everything. And I continue to deny things for years.
How unappealing can one person to be, to get rejected twice?
So, tonight, since the Ernie topic comes up, I tell Erik the full REALLY COMPLETELY TRUE story along with the admission of how it made me feel very ugly and undesirable. Well, who really knows what Ernie felt, but Erik seems to think that perhaps, Ernie was intimidated by me, and scared of his desire and just lost it and left. Not one bit of this conjecture can really be proven without asking Ernie - and I am certainly not about to start, so I don't actually know what the real thought was behind his leaving. I once told The Hub most of this story and weirdly enough, I don't even remember what he had to say about it, except to flip me shit about kissing Ernie.
I also wonder what Ernie thinks about this very successful relationship he ended up creating by introducing me to The Hub? Since Ernie is another one of those people who drift in and out of my life, I probably won't ever know. Especially as The Hub is much better about keeping in touch with him (of course, Ernie never kissed him a few times on New Year's Eve and then abruptly departed).
Here is the best part: I sincerely doubt that I ever would have gotten to meet my husband, if it wasn't for the fact that Ernie left that night, rather than staying. Since The Hub is much MUCH more grounded and good and......so many things positive, and just a miniscule amount negative, I am so very thankful. I am VERY lucky in my life.
Although in my heart of hearts, I want to know what the hell was so bad that Ernie just had to jump up and leave.
bastard
Posted: Mon - October 6, 2003 at 12:01 AM
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Published On: Jan 12, 2004 05:25 PM
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Published On: Jan 12, 2004 05:25 PM