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Exploring Solution Spaces, Keith Ray's blog on Software development and other topics.
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2007.Mar.06 Tue
To the tune of "The Best Things in Life" from the movie musical Paint Your Wagon, set in the California gold-rush of 1848-1855: (Imagine that a self-important programmer in a dot-com startup has been lecturing that crappy, quickly-written code is the most important thing for the start-up's programmers to write.)
This code is pure muck. (Muck's a good thing.)
And oozing with bugs. (Bugs are just fine.)
It's a big ball of mud. (Mud is good luck.)
It's stuffed full of faults. (Faults are good signs.)The poor, they got hope;
The rich can buy SOAP.The VCs bank-rolled our start-up,
We'll cash out or we will pile-up,
Some customers we will round-up,Just wanting to buy,
our site they will try,
Here's mud in your eye!The best code today is dirty,
Advancing our dream is everything.The best code today is filthy dirty,
Hunks of code, code, code.There's more than just code (Code is enough.)
For our IPO (Bountiful code.)
There's customer needs (Buckets of code.)
We should try to meet. (Investable code.)A man has his creed,
And mine is all greed.We will debug that code when we ship it,
And code endless amounts of shit, it
won't matter much 'til the stock split.Just code in the cache
That turns in a flash
To dirty ol' cash.The best code today is dirty,
The worst thing today is—
Writing code clean, now that is obscene.The best code today is filthy dirty
Hunks of code, code, code,
The best code today is filthy dirty
The best thing today is
Being hell-bent on making a cent.The best code today is filthy dirty
Hunks of code, code, code, code
Stinking, rotten, chunks of
Grimy, slimy, lousy, lovelyCode.
Words by yours, truly, C. Keith Ray. (Note: I do not recommend writing crappy code in a startup situation, because that will slow you down more than writing good code would do.)