Abdomen envy (v.) 


The feelings of jealousy and irritation that are experienced by men or women when observing the flatter, more washboard-like stomachs of other members of the same sex. Often simultaneously accompanied by the sudden unpleasant realisation that you yourself used to look like that, and indeed could still look like that if only you didn't eat so much, drink so much and/or exercise so little. 

Such feelings may be mollified by cutting down on sugar, fatty foods and alcohol, going to the gym once a month in a token effort to try and get fit, or by offering to buy the offending person a kebab, slap up meal or eighteen pints of lager in an effort to reduce their physique to the same flabby state as your own.

Cf. ‘spand’ and ‘wackelpudding’. 

Posted on Monday - April 25, 2005 at 10:23 AM            

© 1995-2006