McCow (n.)
A distant relative of the common or domestic cow
that has been genetically engineered to survive in harsh tropical climates, and
is the source of the ‘meat’ content in McDonald's
hamburgers.*
McCows flourish mainly in areas of South America
previously occupied by tropical rainforest, and live for the first part of their
relatively short lives off sand and old shoes. These large, disc-like creatures
eventually become so fat that they are unable to walk by themselves and have to
be fed by an ingenious system of intravenous injections that deliver
semi-digested McDonald's hamburgers,* Coca-Cola and antibiotics to the poor
unfortunate beasts.
Fortunately, modern genetic science has allowed the McCow's life cycle to be accelerated to the point where each individual McCow can be born, grow and be harvested in under ten days, enabling the McDonald's corporation to keep up with surging world demand for their tasty, delicious and highly nutritious fast food produce.
*NB: use of the words ’hamburger’ and ‘meat’ should not be taken to imply any traces of ham, beef, or any other kind of natural occurring animal protein whatsoever.
Fortunately, modern genetic science has allowed the McCow's life cycle to be accelerated to the point where each individual McCow can be born, grow and be harvested in under ten days, enabling the McDonald's corporation to keep up with surging world demand for their tasty, delicious and highly nutritious fast food produce.
*NB: use of the words ’hamburger’ and ‘meat’ should not be taken to imply any traces of ham, beef, or any other kind of natural occurring animal protein whatsoever.
Posted on Wednesday - May 04, 2005 at 01:02 PM
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Published On: Sep 07, 2007 08:02 AM
