Peepil (pl. n.)
The alien race to which the creature known as
‘Michael Howard’, the current leader of the UK Conservative Party,
belongs and is seeking to create a permanent base for within the British
Isles.
Close examination of the speech and mannerisms of
‘Michael Howard’ and the rest of the Conservative front bench have
revealed that they are in fact aliens from the planet Redwood, sent to
infiltrate the British government with a view to establishing a permanent base
for themselves and their kind—‘the peepil’, as they are
known—here on Earth. The peepil's aim is to take over the the UK by
stealth and then declare themselves a sovereign nation before proceeding to
launch an all-out nuclear attack on the rest of the world. They are therefore
very much in favour of:
1. Preventing foreigners from infiltrating the UK by imposing strict immigration quotas and limits on the number of asylum seekers.
2. Restricting ties and integration with neighbouring Earth cultures, such as the other countries of the European union, of which the UK is a member.
3. Locking people up wherever possible—something which ‘Michael Howard’ did a lot of when he was home secretary in the Thatcher government.
4. War and killing in general, as demonstrated by his support for the recent war in Iraq, amongst others.
All of the above will help to further the aims of the peepil when the final attack is launched, at which point the creature known as ‘Michael Howard’, who has been perfecting his human appearance for some time now, will attempt to lead his race to victory over the citizens of Earth. Fortunately, the citizens of the UK have become wise to the threat and have so far managed to keep him out of office, but the ways of the peepil are devious and so one never knows what other tricks they might have up their slimy little sleeves.
For an excellent guide on to how to spot extraterrestrials imitating humans, particularly those working in politics or show-business, please refer to this article.
1. Preventing foreigners from infiltrating the UK by imposing strict immigration quotas and limits on the number of asylum seekers.
2. Restricting ties and integration with neighbouring Earth cultures, such as the other countries of the European union, of which the UK is a member.
3. Locking people up wherever possible—something which ‘Michael Howard’ did a lot of when he was home secretary in the Thatcher government.
4. War and killing in general, as demonstrated by his support for the recent war in Iraq, amongst others.
All of the above will help to further the aims of the peepil when the final attack is launched, at which point the creature known as ‘Michael Howard’, who has been perfecting his human appearance for some time now, will attempt to lead his race to victory over the citizens of Earth. Fortunately, the citizens of the UK have become wise to the threat and have so far managed to keep him out of office, but the ways of the peepil are devious and so one never knows what other tricks they might have up their slimy little sleeves.
For an excellent guide on to how to spot extraterrestrials imitating humans, particularly those working in politics or show-business, please refer to this article.
Posted on Wednesday - May 04, 2005 at 04:27 PM
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Published On: Sep 07, 2007 08:02 AM
