Chad and I have been talking about some of the people in our ministry
lately and how much they have learned through all the trials they've gone
through the last year or two. It got us talking about how much WE have learned
through our various trials, as well.
Our conclusion, in some ways, is that we need the struggles, the
pain, the heartache in order to grow.
Not quite like Agent Smith's comment in The Matrix , "human beings define their reality through misery and suffering;" more like human beings need misery and suffering to figure out that they don't have all the answers and that a great deal of what we spend our lives doing is vanity.
Such as the time I spend organizing my music in iTunes into sets so I can play 'morning' music, or 'romantic' music, or 'cycling' music on my iPod. Really...what does this accomplish in the great scheme of things? Not that I should abstain from it, or from using my iPod, but that perhaps I need to keep it in perspective. Perhaps fighting with my husband over who takes out the trash (no, we don't fight about that...it's an example) or whatever is meaningless, selfishness. Just get it done and move on. It isn't worth the time and energy. Now, discussing how we discipline our children (example, again, we have no children) IS worth the time and energy, but fighting about it is not.
But what I learn from, what I really understand is what I've struggled with. We've learned how to run a ministry from the mistakes we've made in the past; we've learned how to communicate by learning what doesn't work; I've learned not to run into a tree on my mountain bike by realizing that I was paying too much attention to the tree when I hit it. But more importantly, my struggles have shaped my character, my 'charaso,' the etching on my soul. I am who I am, largely, because of the endometrial pain, the divorce, the laughter at my expense, the hysterectomy, the friends who've hurt me and the friends I've hurt.
I've learned patience by the results of my own impatience; kindness as much from my own meanness as I have from the kindness of others; hope from the times I had none and the times I found it; faithfulness from infidelity; selflessness from what I lost being selfish. I learned to delight in someone else's good fortune because I didn't like who I was when I took pleasure from their pain. I learned to endure because when I gave up I lost everything.
No, you don't have to go through struggles to learn these things, but I believe you can't truly understand something until you have struggled with it. I believe that, unless you struggle with it, it will desert you when you need it most. Is there courage if you are not afraid? Is there patience if you are not bothered?
Most of the things I said I'd never do, I've done. Now I know that there is nothing that I won't do, given the right provocation. And so what is left, but to learn from all of those things?
Could this be why there is evil in the world?
Not quite like Agent Smith's comment in The Matrix , "human beings define their reality through misery and suffering;" more like human beings need misery and suffering to figure out that they don't have all the answers and that a great deal of what we spend our lives doing is vanity.
Such as the time I spend organizing my music in iTunes into sets so I can play 'morning' music, or 'romantic' music, or 'cycling' music on my iPod. Really...what does this accomplish in the great scheme of things? Not that I should abstain from it, or from using my iPod, but that perhaps I need to keep it in perspective. Perhaps fighting with my husband over who takes out the trash (no, we don't fight about that...it's an example) or whatever is meaningless, selfishness. Just get it done and move on. It isn't worth the time and energy. Now, discussing how we discipline our children (example, again, we have no children) IS worth the time and energy, but fighting about it is not.
But what I learn from, what I really understand is what I've struggled with. We've learned how to run a ministry from the mistakes we've made in the past; we've learned how to communicate by learning what doesn't work; I've learned not to run into a tree on my mountain bike by realizing that I was paying too much attention to the tree when I hit it. But more importantly, my struggles have shaped my character, my 'charaso,' the etching on my soul. I am who I am, largely, because of the endometrial pain, the divorce, the laughter at my expense, the hysterectomy, the friends who've hurt me and the friends I've hurt.
I've learned patience by the results of my own impatience; kindness as much from my own meanness as I have from the kindness of others; hope from the times I had none and the times I found it; faithfulness from infidelity; selflessness from what I lost being selfish. I learned to delight in someone else's good fortune because I didn't like who I was when I took pleasure from their pain. I learned to endure because when I gave up I lost everything.
No, you don't have to go through struggles to learn these things, but I believe you can't truly understand something until you have struggled with it. I believe that, unless you struggle with it, it will desert you when you need it most. Is there courage if you are not afraid? Is there patience if you are not bothered?
Most of the things I said I'd never do, I've done. Now I know that there is nothing that I won't do, given the right provocation. And so what is left, but to learn from all of those things?
Could this be why there is evil in the world?
