The Three Esses


Well, this is about the first 'S' - maybe the most important one!

Toto's Neorest will make you want to give your old 'John' the flush.

Grab the newspaper. Lock the door. Do your business, but remember to zip up and flush. For the last hundred years or so, that's the routine for going to the bathroom. But now the Neorest from Toto USA brings interactive technology to the bathroom. Tune in to "Fresh Gear" as I go Al Bundy in style.

Now that's automation

The Neorest experience starts as you walk into a field of sensors that trigger the toilet's lid to lift. If you're a gentlemen with the need to void your bladder, hit a wall-mounted remote so the Neorest lifts its seat.

"It's a touch-free, germ-free experience," Toto USA engineer Kenneth Kubik says.

If you need to sit on this throne, a heated seat -- 96.8 degrees, to be exact -- warms your fanny. Of all the Neorest features, this is by far the most luxurious. It's a whole different experience than the shock of a frigid plastic ring freezing your backside in the middle of a cold night. The seat-heat function can be timed to conserve energy.



So fresh, so clean

Kubik also showed me the bidet functions of the Neorest, underscoring Toto USA's dedication to hygiene.

"You'll still use paper but then finish with either a vaginal or anal water cleaning," he says.

Here's where the Neorest acts like a spa. A white plastic nozzle emerges upon your remote-control command from the rear of the bowl. Choose between a front or back cleaning. Adjust water temperature, the intensity of the spray (gentle or hard), and the oscillating pattern of the spray. I won't get too explicit here, but this function has its own special appeal for ladies.

After the undercarriage wash described above, turn on the Neorest's heated fan to properly dry all of your parts. The only complaint I have is that the fan seemed a little anemic, and I had to finish up with a dab of toilet paper.

Bottom (pun intended) line

So what's to keep you from buying a Neorest? Its price. Suggested retail hits $5,000, but you get both toilet and bidet. And if you're feeling flush, what's a better use of your cash than a heated toilet seat for the dead of winter.

Posted: Sat - November 29, 2003 at 06:44 PM        

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