Justified Type: quotes

A lot of my pages feature quotes; an affinity for quotes is apparently quite common for INFJs. These quotes are from a wide variety of sources. A lot of them are humorous and some are profound. They’re not really organized except that I separate my own quotes from those of others. This page also acts as an archive for quotes that at one time appeared on my home page in rotation.

Various

I wouldn’t mind a warm dry cell
Where I could just talk to myself
No, I wouldn’t mind a warm dry cell
I’m just sick of everyone
— Ängst, “Warm Dry Cell”

I’ll have a good opinion of you if you give me a smile
And really want to sit with me and talk for a while
Too used to thinking about myself as the sludge
That they dredged up from the bottom of boredom
Shoot me in the head and check my attitude post-mortem
— Ängst, “Decomposition”

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either; just leave me the hell alone.
— unknown

All’s fair in love and networking.
— Bastard Operator From Hell

If I had better equipment, I could do more damage.
— Ashleigh Brilliant

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing.
— Edmund Burke

When businesses invoke the ‘protection of consumers,’ it’s a lot like politicians invoking morality and children — grab your wallet and/or your kid and run for your life.
— Tsu Dho Nimh

It may be that a slow tongue is not so great an evil as a fast one, and fewness of words may be more of a blessing than floods of verbiage.
— Charles Haddon Spurgeon, Faith’s Checkbook (“Speak What He Teaches” — August 2 entry)

To begin with, I think that we must all agree that his website is just generally too long and tedious. He doesn’t bother to tell anyone from the start that they’re going to be embarking on a journey of novel length when they click on the innocent MSU-styled first page. He doesn’t let you know that you will be clicking on hyper link after hyper link of text and pages and (oh no not another) rambling after rambling of why he’s so proper and why all the girls should love him even though he knows (quite admittedly) that they never will.
— Neal Wilkinson’s TURPIN page

It’s always quite fun when someone really hates you. You almost sympathise with them.
— Neil Tennant, Rolling Stone article

Everything new is good, even if it’s bad it’s good because it’s new.
— Chris Lowe, PSB vs. America

Just for the sake of it, make sure you’re always frowning
It shows the world that you’ve got substance and depth
— Pet Shop Boys, “Miserablism”

A nervous boy from another town
With a nervous laugh and a concentrated frown
— Pet Shop Boys, “Nervously”

Understanding women is like nailing jello to a tree.
— Second Floor Belz [paraphrased]

Spammers suck. If you’re a spammer, that means you suck.
— I Hate UCE
(You have to spell some things out for some people.)

Standing barefoot in a river of clues, most people would not get their toes wet.
— Brian Kantor

If you lived here, you’d be dead by now!
— MST3K

Hey! Fight someone of your own opacity!
— MST3K, as the lead character fights an invisible man

I am a cipher wrapped in an enigma smothered in a secret sauce.
— Jimmy James

I’m not a complete idiot. There are some pieces missing.
— unknown

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
— The Talking Moose

The icon
The sensation
The eccentric
The original
The observer
The romantic
The good listener
The best-kept secret
— Relish, “The One”

I was a Baptist boy in childhood
Met a Lutheran girl at school
And now I am a preacher
Just the gospel’s living proof
Oh Lord I’m Presbyterian
And that’s why I sing the blues
If you know what I mean
— Mo Leverett, “If You Know What I Mean”

Q: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?!
— unknown

The best way to communicate should be banging on a drum and screaming.
— Moby

hopefully we learn from our mistakes? it’s not for arbitrary reasons that i call myself the little idiot. i’m little and i’m an idiot:) so if i do something that seems weird or distasteful, there’s a good chance that with hindsight i’ll see it that way as well.
— Moby, 1999-09-15

All that I need is to be loved
— Moby, “All That I Need is to be Loved”

I’m one of the unloved
— aleixa, “Unloved”

I feel I’ve nothing to give
I feel no one wants to receive
I open up and I close back down
Someone please come for me
— aleixa, “Whirling Within”

It is strange to be known so universally, and yet to be so lonely.
— Albert Einstein

My hope is above and beyond the temporal
My hope is above and beyond the trees
I believe in this reality
But it doesn’t answer what it means to me
My hope is
Above and beyond
— Mortal, “Above & Beyond”

I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief!
— from Mark 9:24 (NIV)

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
‘I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve.’
— Jeremiah 17:9 & 10 (NIV)

Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.
— G. K. Chesterton

I can have new life
Thinking of Love
— House of Wires, “Breathe”

I never saw my shadow until I saw the light
But now I need more light to drown it out
— Massivivid, “Drop”

Thou hast made us for thyself, and the heart never resteth till it findeth rest in thee
— St. Augustine

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God: Thy will be done,
and those to whom God says: All right, then, have it your way.
— C.S. Lewis

That iron we are sharpening does no good stuck in a brother’s back.
— Tolldog

Art destroys silence.
— Dmitri Shostakovich

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
— Horace Walpole

‘You’re not my type’ means ‘you make my skin crawl.’
— Dubstar, “Unchained Monologue”

We’re not very big, but we’re certainly clever.
— Dubstar, “Disgraceful”

I look at the roses through world-colored glasses.
— Ron Schwarz in news.admin.net-abuse.email

Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea — massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
— Gene “spaf” Spafford (1992)

In the ’60s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now that the world is weird people take Prozac to make the world normal.
— unknown

Women don’t make fools of men — most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
— Tsu Dho Nimh

Rent a friend — join a frat
— t-shirt

End lactose intolerance!
— unknown

10 percent of computer users are Mac users, but remember, we are the top 10 percent.
— Douglas Adams [unconfirmed]

Never ask what sort of computer a guy drives. If he’s a Mac user, he’ll tell you. If not, why embarrass him?
— Tom Clancy [unconfirmed]

I have no idea what you’re talking about when you say ‘ask.’
— Bill Gates

Never run software from untrusted sources.
— Microsoft
(Do you trust Microsoft?)

Computers are like air conditioners — they stop working properly when you open Windows.
— Gianluca Granero

We really haven’t done everything we could to protect our customers… Our products just aren’t engineered for security.
— Brian Valentine, Microsoft’s Windows development team senior vice president (source)

[In Windows,] Every time you get a dialogue box you don’t understand, you ought to get a nickel from Microsoft, and every time it crashes, you should get a dollar. That would make Bill Gates homeless and me a rich man.
— Ben Shneiderman, University of Maryland computer science professor (source)

The day Microsoft makes a product that does not suck will be the day they start making vacuum cleaners.
— t-shirt

Originals

Ah, yes — you have one of those ‘life’ things, right?

I kinda felt like an anorexic at a gourmet convention.

Sensitivity to people’s feelings is important to women. Except when they’re shooting down men.

Girls are trouble.

The country stations always come in strongest.

I would have taken a job working for that Word-Faith preacher, but he didn’t offer health insurance.

Other nice quote pages

Good Quotations by Famous people

Randy Pargman’s Bulldog Cam Scrapbook

MacKiDo/Quotes/

Things [Tolldog Has] Been Overheard to Say

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Revised 2003-04-16, 9:30 PM CST (UTC −0600)