Ängst: The Null Hypothesis lyrics

descent

i gave it all away
i couldnt take it anymore
ive fallen back today
back to what i knew before
peering through the doors of a cold wet cell
gazing at the ground where my lost hope fell
(heres a little story ive got to tell)
we all deserve to go to hell

who am I to question God

i dipped my brush in a pail full of words
and painted pictures of it
tried to twist it
i showed it to my friend and smiled
not that easy, not that fast
explanations dug up from the past
itll take some time for me to work through romans 9
break it down into components
try to understand whats brought us here
im looking in your eyes and i dont have the words to say it
what if it could be all fine
if it werent for romans 9
how can i explain it
and who am i to question God?
preacher stood there and preached there
going nowhere
he showed it to his flock and smiled
gave us all the words we craved: “all who call on the name of the lord shall be saved”
guess he paid no mind to that little stumbling block in romans 9
chorus
put Gods word in 2 columns
print them side by side
but what am i to do when one seems to tell me that the other has lied
i dipped my brush in a pail full of words
and spilled paint on the ground
my faith is as strong as it ever was
but this is a problem i cant seem to get around
chorus 2×

(interjections: brian bateman)

warm dry cell

theres a hill just over a hill
and just beyond theres a little city
where everybody can step on a stump
and speak their mind
and every himself and herself gets a guitar
handed down by the city fathers
a little rosewood acoustic job
with dull strings turned black from the sea air
i wouldnt mind a warm dry cell
where i could just talk to myself
no i wouldnt mind a warm dry cell
im just sick of everyone else
you know they play their songs
little folk tunes they wrote for us
5 minutes long and they all sound the same
bash 3 chords for the verse and 4 for the chorus
and every mind is politically minded
and there are messages in every line
ive heard of this nirvana but i never did find it
and if its up to me well thats just fine because
chorus etc
sun burns my skin to a crisp brown cancer
shining bright white tooth rows blind my eyes
somebody chained me down here like a monkey tortured for cosmetics
but i dont want to just lay down and die
i wouldnt mind a warm dry cell

(lead guitar: wyatt mcconnell)

exactly precisely

2:31
my innocence is here
trading laughs with a newfound friend
i have no fear
2:36
he buttons down his pants
the beatles pay on the jukebox
just by circumstance
a tear-jerker plot without the romance it was
exactly, precisely
every little detail
exactly, precisely
memories never fail to
destroy me, entice me
i live it over in my mind
exactly, precisely as it was
once upon a time
2:37
a pillow placed mid-bed
cries go unheard drowned in feathers of down
i remember what i said
2:38 now
and no plan of attack
just tears with sweat and angels and demons
this beast on my back
chorus
when things were simpler
when things made sense
11 years and i still have no peace
clouds bleed on the moonlit streets
11 years the tears have yet to cease
chorus 2×

(lyrics adapted from “details at 2:38” by corey lafferty)

Godshaped void

shaped like God, placed by God
a dual reckoning
i guess when youre a deity you can do that kind of thing
my hole is getting bigger
my flesh sucks off a drought
a stain like blood that wont wash out
pleasures born in waterfalls now linger drop by drop
they taunt me like my Godshaped void but cannot make me stop
every time i come so close im just a step away
gain sight of victory to see my past progress decay
no ones better than
more of a terror than
it traces me i face it
cannot shroud it cant erase it
all of my pleasures dredged
all of my gambles hedged
my hole stares up at me
bleeding from its edge
trying to fill up my Godshaped void
sectioning off which sins to enjoy
in the race of life the battle goes not to the strong
i wouldnt bet on weakness
i guess i could be wrong
i rid myself of God the crutch
my broken leg doesnt hurt so much (thanks crashdog)
if i cant have everything then just give me a taste (thanks trent)
i cant begin to list the sins you see upon my face
i cant begin to fill the space dont know where to begin
all things stop everything fails its got to have an end
who can know so well
i want to live to tell
of picket fences and fractional children
all of my pleasures dredged
all of my gambles hedged
my hole stares up at me
bleeding from its edge
chorus
only one choice thats left to avoid
my pride must come down, it must be destroyed

shades of light

id have a hard time without dichotomy
cause it lets me throw down convenient lines
but sometimes it feels like its a part of me
and brother this is one of those times
and i see
now that you live again
i just cant understand
how to relate to what you feel tonight
youre bathed in deep blood red
i wash in crimson rose instead
its not a question of wrong or right
just shades of light
you said God set your soul on fire
to burn for all to see
and i feel joy for you
and my flame burns bright too, exposed and alone
so why do i separate what lives in you from what lives in me?
chorus
nothing to hold
once the receivers put to bed
and phone lines are so cold
im trying to think of what you said
i want to cradle your words in my arms
i want to hold them in my hands
i know ill try my best to try
but as it is i just cant understand
i cant withstand it no
chorus 2×

(lead guitar: kaj m. gartz)

positive

we ought to pick it up
it ought to be correct
counted off calendar days
i sit and recollect
king solomon stepped in
in a white lab coat
“im sorry sir,”
“im sorry too”
90,000 dots per inch wrote
“so youll have to change some things,”
he said, too much at rest
“try to raise your troubled eyes”
“yes sir, ill do my best
to be just like the tests”

(backing vocals: meredith leel)

lollapalooza

she got the little braids put in her hair
they split the cost, her boyfriend paid his $7.50 share
he must have thought they were cute, she looked alright
but even better silhouetted tonight
somewhere with him
silently taking him in
and hed dyed every strand fire-engine red
“i think ill make mine putrid green,”
his rainy-day friend must have said
he probably replied, “hell yeah,” but didnt think
and didnt think much about anything
about nipple rings or latex or the mall
or anything at all
i lost all my faith in mankind, knew i would
i never believed that were essentially good
but all that my grim observations have wrought
is an angry young man full of cold bitter thoughts
in hell
i built my hell
a bassists bewildered expression left a trace
how can you sing those anarchic lyrics 2,000,000 albums later and still save face?
anger, lust, frustration, fear and fun
teenage ängst for everyone
cant you see that everyones a poser and a wannabe
chorus
Jesu Christos, Father, amen
chorus etc

(lead guitar: alex bockman; backing vocals: kate marsh)

boiling point

fingers curled
wrapped around anger
wound into tight fists
and pounded into jacket pockets
stepping down the street
dead and bloated
cocked and loaded
methodical and torn
gonna reach my boiling point
before i stop myself
from Gods womb
self-aborted
i cut the cord
i took the nails and killed the Lord
passed him by
left Him down the street
left Him in the gutter
i left Him and me to bleed
chorus

(lead guitar: mike jacobs)

effexor (venlafaxine hcl)

if i had a star trek transporter
id get to class in a flash
and all eyes would be amazed when id make it home just before curfew during the summer
eyes filled with wonder
when id get me and my guitar from new haven home in five or ten seconds or so
if i had a star trek transporter
id find you on the highway
and stop that little pedal just before it hit the floor
id take away your effexor
shut the lid on effexor
stop production of effexor
id take away your effexor
and take you up into a little cabin in the mountains where youd never been before
and starve you out until withdrawal set in
till you had no stories to tell me anymore
chorus
you could even come to my house for advice
i wouldnt care if you came twice
and i dont know what to do with you
i guess its just something ill always run into
chorus
sounds like a washed-up super-heros name
chorus

(shaping, molding, and all guitars: mike pilato)

persistence

(instrumental)

five in the chamber

one too many concerts scratching over DATs
and one too many lyric lines about skirts and tricks and gats
they play your little tracks in carolina and think theyre the jams
and knock them out of speakers wherever i am
so many words without deeds its said
wont someone shut up and put some bullets through some heads
a good night kiss
never felt so bold
a good night kiss
lay him down cold
theyll never miss him at least i hope so
five in the chamber and one in the hole
came in the back porch window, not a hitch at all
and made it through the kitchen to kneel here in the hall
i think this is his bedroom, its got to be
biggest room on the second floor
my trigger finger calls your name
you wont be needing it anymore
chorus 2×
this old world has made him sick
this old world has made me dull
the only way to end it now
is with a (hollow point bullet) in someones skull
chorus 3×

(music co-written with shep kendall; backing vocals: jennifer brown)

nothing else

a narrow trembling branch
dripping from the rain
and all the life that this third rock from the sun may now contain
it could not be as real
it could now ring as true
as everything youve told me, everything thats happening to you
like water into wine
blooms the flower on the vine
and nothing else could be more real than what youve said today
I only wish that I could feel your joy without your pain
your Godshaped void is filled
its written on your face
but forgiveness doesnt deny that there was something wrong in the first place
and so my joy is tainted
with hope for what was lost
in time or being i believe that somebody had to pay the cost
like water into wine
transformed thought within your mind
chorus
in the recesses of my joy there lurks a thieving fear
i dont want you or i to ever go through what it took you to get here

(acoustic guitar: mike pilato; lead guitar: mike jacobs; madphat outro wah guitar: wyatt mcconnell)