If King Arthur had known the Internet

This discussion was started by Christian Unfried on Dec. 7 1995.

From: "Arthur T. King"  
To: "Sir Lancelot"  
Cc: "Round Table" , 
    "Sir Gawaine" ,
    "Sir Hector" 
Bcc: "Merlin" 
Subject: [Q] Looking for the Holy Grail
[MIME-Encoding: ISO-4012-OLD-ENG (Not all chars will be displayed correctly 
on Middle-European terminals)]

Dear fellows,

could you please look up some Internet information concerning the Holy Grail? 
I know you are well-taught in the art of Web-fighting and ftp- quests. 

Thank you very much. Please respond directly to my e-mail address 
(applies to those on the Round Table mailing list). 

Arthur

=============================================================== 
Arthurus Rex Omnis Britanniae	e-mail: king@camelot.gov.uk

      "I do not write programs in C, I sail across it."
===============================================================

From:   "Merlin" 
To:     "Arthur T. King"  
Subject: Re: [Q] Looking for the Holy Grail

On [....] "Arthur T. King"  wrote: 

>could you please look up some Internet information concerning the Holy Grail? 

did you do a Yahoo already? You might also post to 

   alt.esotherics.grail.find.find.find
   soc.grail.sightings
or
   rec.grail.watching

Hope that helps,

Merlin

--------------------------------------------------- 
I dont believe in miracles - I rely on them 
                                           Garfield
--------------------------------------------------- 

From: "Arthur T. King"  
To: "Merlin" 
Subject: Re: [Q] Looking for the Holy Grail 

On [....] "Merlin"  wrote: 

>On [....] "Arthur T. King"  wrote: 
>
>>could you please look up some Internet information concerning the Holy Grail? 
>(...)
>did you do a Yahoo already? You might also post to alt.esotherics.grail.find.find.find
>soc.grail.sightings
>or
>rec.grail.watching

>Hope that helps,

>Merlin

>--------------------------------------------------- 
>I dont believe in miracles - I rely on them 
>                                           Garfield
>--------------------------------------------------- 

Merlin,

you saved my life! It is good to know I can always rely on your wisdom.
I sent a posting to rec.grail.watching and look what I received: 

----- Forwarded message -----

In Message <....>, "Arthur T. King"  wrote: 

[...]

Looking for the Holy Grail can be rather tricky. I suggest, you examine the 
following steps:

(1) Get the GRAIL-HOWTO from ftp://ftp.rtfm.delphi.org/oracle/uk/ 

(2) Write to oracle-keeper@delphi.org if something about the file 
is unclear

(3) If there are still questions left, telnet to priest-moo.avalon.org, 
port 4444 and enter the user ID "guest". There are always some priests 
around that can answer your questions. BTW, be aware of possible time 
zone difference between Camelot and the Isle of Avalon where the server 
is located and try not to log on during office hours.

Good luck,
Tristan
tristan@isolde.rz.uni-karlsruhe.de

================================================= 
Ouwe, ouwe, wohin sint alle mine Bits verswunten, 
wohin ist all die hohe Zit,
wer lasset min Server gesunten?
                    (Walther von der Cursorweide)
================================================= 

From: "Merlin" 
To: "Arthur T. King"  
CC: "Round Table" , 
    tristan@isolde.rz.uni-karlsruhe.de 
Subject: Re2: [Q] Looking for the Holy Grail 

>you saved my life! It is good to know I can always rely on your wisdom.

*bow* It was a pleasure. You know I am a bit old-fashioned... all that 'for 
king and fatherland' type of crap... ;) 

>Looking for the Holy Grail can be rather tricky. I suggest, you examine 
the following steps:
>
>(1) Get the GRAIL-HOWTO from ftp://ftp.rtfm.delphi.org/oracle/uk/ 

Thats a good idea indeed, however I recommend to use the UK mirror at 
ftp.quest.com/mirrors/oracle/

>(2) Write to oracle-keeper@delphi.org if something about the file 
>is unclear
>
>(3) If there are still questions left, telnet to priest-moo.avalon.org, 
>port 4444 and enter the user ID "guest". There are always some priests 
>around that can answer your questions. BTW, be aware of possible time zone 
>difference between Camelot and the Isle of Avalon where the server is 
>located and try not to log on during office hours.

That is very good advice. I heard some guests have been @toaded when 
they interrupted worshipping. Before you address one of the priests 
directly and before using @priest you might try @911 to get directly 
connected to the the priest of the day. I also heard rumors of a hidden 
grail bulletin board somewhere in the avalon system. Does anybody have any 
more info on that? 

Tristan? 

CU

  Merlin

From: "Merlin" 
To: "Arthur T. King"  
Subject: Grail stuff

*sigh* look what I just found on soc.grail.sightings - it seems some idiot 
from alt.elvis sightings was cross-posting. I wish I knew a spell to 
autospam such guys... 

Merlin


>On [....] "Arthur T. King"  wrote: 

>>could you please look up some Internet information concerning the Holy Grail? 
>>I know you are well-taught in the art of Web-fighting and ftp- quests. 
>>Thank you very much. Please respond directly to my e-mail address 
>>(applies to those on the Round Table mailing list). 

>I saw it, I saw it! Yesterday when I was dining out at my favourite burger 
>king I saw Elvis sitting in the booth next to me drinking coke out of the 
>holy grail. He didnt need a refill because the grail filled itself with 
>coke whenever it was empty. Amazing!
>
>niavag


and then this one *sigh*


>On [....] "niavag"  wrote: 
>>I saw it, I saw it! Yesterday when I was dining out at my favourite burger 
>>king I saw Elvis sitting in the booth next to me drinking coke out of the 
>>holy grail. He didnt need a refill because the grail filled itself with 
>>coke whenever it was empty. Amazing!

>LIAR - BURN IN HELL!!! 
>YOU CAN NEVER EVER HAVE SEEN ELVIS DINING 
>YESTERDAY AT BURGER KING BECAUSE I SAW 
>ELVIS DEVOURING A TACO AT TACO BELL.
>
>ECNAL

>>Cc: "Round Table" , 
>>"Sir Gawaine" ,

>shouldn't that be a @bol ? (britannia online) 

No, it's Albion Online ;-)

From: "Arthur T. King"  
To: "Merlin" 
Subject: Re: Grail Stuff 


On Mon, 11 Dec 595, Merlin wrote:

>*sigh* look what I just found on soc.grail.sightings - it seems some idiot 
>from alt.elvis sightings was cross-posting. I wish I knew a spell to 
>autospam such guys...

did you read yesterday's strange posting on soc.grail.sightings? 

Artie

BTW, what is a cross-posting? Is this sort of a joust? 


---- Forwarded message ----

>From: abc4711@anon.penet.vi 
>Newsgroups: soc.grail.sighting, 
>            soc.eschatology.end.end.end, 
>            soc.culture.viking, 
>            relcom.nishni-nowgorod.trade 
>Subject: MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!!
>
>This is not a commercial posting - please don't flame me for that! 
>I'm just trying to explain you something that helped me and my friends 
>a lot! You won't believe it! And you will wonder why _you_ didn't 
>have the idea before...
>
>Do the following: Send an SAE (stamped and addressed equestrian) to 
>the address at the end of this posting and enclose five gold coins. 
>As soon as I receive your letter, I will tell you where the grail is. 
>Then pass on this message to five of your friends/knights/disciples or 
>whatsoever, replacing the address at the end of this posting with your own.
>Absolutely NO RISK - and you win TWICE! Twenty gold coins PLUS you will 
>know where the grail is! Isn't that great? 
>
>Send your SAE to
>Iwan
>Horse 15
>Nishni-Nowgorod
>Eastern Wasteland, Eurasia
>
>=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*= 
>Want to know more about Anonymous Vikings Mailbox? 
>Send an email to postmaster@anon.penet.vi, subject: HELP
>=*=*=*=*=*= This service was set up by Tjure Halvarsson =*=*=*=*=*=

From:   "Merlin" 
To:     "Arthur T. King"  
Subject: Re: Grail Stuff


Once upon a time, Artie wrote:

>>*sigh* look what I just found on soc.grail.sightings - it seems some idiot 
>>from alt.elvis sightings was cross-posting. I wish I knew a spell to 
>>autospam such guys...
>
>did you read yesterday's strange posting on soc.grail.sightings? 
>
>Artie

Actually no. And now that I saw it I am happy I didnt :) 

>BTW, what is a cross-posting? Is this sort of a joust? 

Well - in a way it is. Or lets say: if it is a posting like that one 
it will ultimately result in a joust... 

>---- Forwarded message ----
>
>From: abc4711@anon.penet.vi
Newsgroups: soc.grail.sighting, 
>           soc.eschatology.end.end.end, 
>           soc.culture.viking, 
>           relcom.nishni-nowgorod.trade 
>Subject: MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!!

Argh - one more of these. I think I have seen a very similar one in 
alt.voodoo.misc recently... 

>This is not a commercial posting - please don't flame me for that! I'm just 
>trying to explain you something that helped me and my friends a lot! You 
>won't believe it! And you will wonder why _you_ didn't have the idea before...

Actually I know why we didnt have that idea before. As knights of the round 
table we make money even faster by simply raising the taxes :)) 

>Do the following: Send an SAE (stamped and addressed equestrian) 

*giggle*

>to the address at the end of this posting and enclose five gold 
>coins. As soon as I receive your letter, I will tell you where 
>the grail is. 

May I send my SAE also via email attachment? ;) 

>Then pass on this message to five of your friends/knights/disciples 
>or whatsoever, replacing the address at the end of this posting with your own.
>Absolutely NO RISK - and you win TWICE! Twenty gold coins PLUS you will 
>know where the grail is! Isn't that great? 
>
>Send your SAE to
>Iwan
>Horse 15
>Nishni-Nowgorod
>Eastern Wasteland, Eurasia

Does this guy have an idea what it costs to send a SAE that far? That 
costs much more than 20 gold coins! If I should send something that 
far I would only send it via FedEq (Federal Equestrian)... 

But I won't because:

First it is a stupid idea. Why should this guy give us the *real* location 
of the grail - its probably a fake grail (made in rome or something like that) 

Second: Dont trust vicings. Never ever trust them - as the old greeks said 
already: Timeo normannos et dona ferentes (or was it the egyptians 
who said that...?) 

Third: Never ever trust anybody from an anonymous server... 

Period.

Sooo. Get a life man! Dont bother us with your stupid postings. Looks 
for a few villagers to torture if you are bored but leave US alone. 

Lance

---------------------------------------------- 
     No, I don't have japanese relatives
----------------------------------------------

To: Lancelot
From: Arthur

Lance,

my beloved wife, Guinevere, has problems with her PowerMonk (you know,
the thing she bought from that traveller from Alba) - as I've heard
you are a Mac expert and have fought many battles against them, could
you please have a quick look at what is wrong with that - it seems
the PowerMonk has problems with copying data - which is the thing
she needs most often. (How often have I told her to buy a Repentium
Priest P90, with 90 Megafarts, instead...)

Thanks,
The King



last message from 10/26/96