Another entry from Joe's Diary
Well, that's one debate victory out of the
way.
It was harder than I thought. Karl told me he would take care of that Schlesinger fellow, but apparently the message didn't get through. You could of knocked me over with a feather when he started in on me. It never occured to me that he'd do something like that. I called Karl after the debate and gave him a piece of my mind. He said they would "reason with him" and that it would go easier the next time. I hope so.
Still, I think my basic strategy worked like a charm. It wasn't easy honing my voice to project just the right tone of self pitying victimhood. Complaining about the fact that your opponent criticizes you is a sure fire way to win votes, in my experience, so I made sure that I brought up Ned's attacks at every opportunity. I'm sure everyone in Connecticut felt sorry for me by the end of the debate. If you've got them feeling sorry for you, you're a sure fire winner, in my opinion. And of course I'm not the only one who feels that way. Gerstein agreed with me right away when I explained my theory to him.
Right after the debate I got a phone call from Dick. He said I did even better in this debate than I did in the one against him back in 2000. God that made me feel good. Such high praise. When Dick, or George say nice things about me it makes me feel so warm I'm afraid I've peed my pants. Actually, sometimes I do pee my pants, but it's worth it, believe me.
Still, things aren't all good. You have to hold your nose sometimes, and this morning was one of those times. Dan said that I have to still pretend to be a Democrat some times, so he told me I have to say I hope they take over the Congress. Well, I did it, but I didn't like it. Still, I got a few licks in. I said:
'It won't represent progress that's real. It's not going to be much of a step forward if there's a new Democratic leadership that doesn't change the tone in Washington.''
One of the things I love about the press is the fact that they never ask the obvious follow up, like why I never complained before August about the tone in Washington, and why I never expected the Republicans to change it, considering they were in charge and all. This really is a great country.
Anyway, just having to say that got me really down, even though Karl told me that he understood, and it was okay, so long as I caucused with them when the time came. I really can't wait for that. Oh shit, there's that warm feeling again. I have to go dry myself off.
Well, I'm back. Just one more thing. After having to take sides with the Democrats I really felt---I don't know--sort of depressed. I needed a pick me up. Then it came to me. Lately, nothing makes me feel better than stabbing Chris in the back. I'll never forgive him for backing Lamont just because he won the Democratic primary. It should be obvious that there's something more important than party loyalty: me. So, even though I opposed John Bolton for the U.N. post last year, I said I'd support him now. That'll show Chris.
Speaking of Democrats, I'm pretty pissed off about them talking up Schlesinger's performance. Dan's getting out the word that they're financing Schlesinger as well. Of course, we don't have a bit of proof, but to paraphase Pat McHenry, does anyone have any evidence that they weren't involved? The idea of funding the political opposition is so hypocritical it makes me sick.
Gee, that reminds me. I have a fundraiser tonight with some guy that Karl wants me to meet. Some swift boat guy. I can't remember his name.
Well, time to go. This campaigning is hard work. Two hours a day in front of the mirror. One hour practicing my whining, and one hour practicing lying with a straight face. Sometimes I'm amazed that with all the practice I still make mistakes,. Next time I lie about Social Security I have to be a lot smoother than I was yesterday. Still, I don't think anyone noticed, since I laid the self pity on so thick.
It was harder than I thought. Karl told me he would take care of that Schlesinger fellow, but apparently the message didn't get through. You could of knocked me over with a feather when he started in on me. It never occured to me that he'd do something like that. I called Karl after the debate and gave him a piece of my mind. He said they would "reason with him" and that it would go easier the next time. I hope so.
Still, I think my basic strategy worked like a charm. It wasn't easy honing my voice to project just the right tone of self pitying victimhood. Complaining about the fact that your opponent criticizes you is a sure fire way to win votes, in my experience, so I made sure that I brought up Ned's attacks at every opportunity. I'm sure everyone in Connecticut felt sorry for me by the end of the debate. If you've got them feeling sorry for you, you're a sure fire winner, in my opinion. And of course I'm not the only one who feels that way. Gerstein agreed with me right away when I explained my theory to him.
Right after the debate I got a phone call from Dick. He said I did even better in this debate than I did in the one against him back in 2000. God that made me feel good. Such high praise. When Dick, or George say nice things about me it makes me feel so warm I'm afraid I've peed my pants. Actually, sometimes I do pee my pants, but it's worth it, believe me.
Still, things aren't all good. You have to hold your nose sometimes, and this morning was one of those times. Dan said that I have to still pretend to be a Democrat some times, so he told me I have to say I hope they take over the Congress. Well, I did it, but I didn't like it. Still, I got a few licks in. I said:
'It won't represent progress that's real. It's not going to be much of a step forward if there's a new Democratic leadership that doesn't change the tone in Washington.''
One of the things I love about the press is the fact that they never ask the obvious follow up, like why I never complained before August about the tone in Washington, and why I never expected the Republicans to change it, considering they were in charge and all. This really is a great country.
Anyway, just having to say that got me really down, even though Karl told me that he understood, and it was okay, so long as I caucused with them when the time came. I really can't wait for that. Oh shit, there's that warm feeling again. I have to go dry myself off.
Well, I'm back. Just one more thing. After having to take sides with the Democrats I really felt---I don't know--sort of depressed. I needed a pick me up. Then it came to me. Lately, nothing makes me feel better than stabbing Chris in the back. I'll never forgive him for backing Lamont just because he won the Democratic primary. It should be obvious that there's something more important than party loyalty: me. So, even though I opposed John Bolton for the U.N. post last year, I said I'd support him now. That'll show Chris.
Speaking of Democrats, I'm pretty pissed off about them talking up Schlesinger's performance. Dan's getting out the word that they're financing Schlesinger as well. Of course, we don't have a bit of proof, but to paraphase Pat McHenry, does anyone have any evidence that they weren't involved? The idea of funding the political opposition is so hypocritical it makes me sick.
Gee, that reminds me. I have a fundraiser tonight with some guy that Karl wants me to meet. Some swift boat guy. I can't remember his name.
Well, time to go. This campaigning is hard work. Two hours a day in front of the mirror. One hour practicing my whining, and one hour practicing lying with a straight face. Sometimes I'm amazed that with all the practice I still make mistakes,. Next time I lie about Social Security I have to be a lot smoother than I was yesterday. Still, I don't think anyone noticed, since I laid the self pity on so thick.
Posted: Tuesday - October 17, 2006 at 10:10 PM
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Published On: Apr 17, 2007 07:18 PM
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Published On: Apr 17, 2007 07:18 PM