Letter
to Dean Kamen, inventor of the Segway oct 10, 2005
Dear Dean,
I want to begin by saying I LOVE MY SEGWAY! I'm writing because I have
a couple of suggestions, but please think of them as constructive
criticism designed to make the Segway EVEN BETTER.
First off, I love how my Segway magically balances all on it's
own, (you don't know how many people have asked me, "how does it do
that?") But I have an idea that'll make it work even better! Now, I'm
no scientist, (like you!) so if I'm way off just ignore me, but what if
you took the wheels and, instead of having them side by side you put
them one in front of the other? That way with a little forward momentum
the gyroscopic effect would magically keep the Segway upright! I know,
I can hear you saying "but the Segway ALREADY stays upright, why
reinvent the wheel?"
But if you did it my way you wouldn't need an
onboard computer which would greatly cut down the overall cost. I know
you're not just a scientist but also a business entrepreneur - I'll bet
this money talk has gotten your attention!
Okay bear with me, only a couple more things. Now, I'm not a
cultural anthropologist, but I've noticed that on the subway most
people like to sit down rather than stand up. And if you can sit on a
stinky crowded dirty subway, then why not on the Segway? Only makes
sense right? The money I saved you on the computer should more than
make up for the cost of the seat. 
One of my most awesome things that I like about my Segway is
the fact that it's electric. It's pretty cool that something so great
has zero emissions and is good for the environment! Well, one day I was
bragging about my Segway to my friend (I know that's wrong but I can't
HELP it!) and he was probably just jealous but he said something that
really made me mad. He said, "How do you think they make the
electricity to charge your precious Segway? Aren't you just
transferring your pollution?" Gosh that made me angry, there were so
many holes in his argument I didn't know where to begin. Needless to
say, I put him straight - but it did get me thinking, wouldn't it be
kinda fun to have a human powered Segway? That would really shut him up
for good! I know, you're thinking, "human powered!? ... Yuck!!" But I
have an idea where if you used a gearing system you wouldn't have to
work so hard, it might even be kinda fun! And talk about saving money!
Plus if the Segway had no engine then you could make it a LOT lighter
(I do get kinda tired trying to get my Segway up the front steps every
day, whew!)
Well, that's about it! I know sales are down a bit and maybe
some of these ideas will help. I'd love to think that I help save the
Segway!
Oh and here are a couple of other things I was mulling over; spooked
wheels, rear rack, pannier, toe clips, headlight, sweet gloves with the
fingers cut off, pegs, kickstand, and a big annual race in France. But
those are just ideas, nothing concrete.
Love,
BIGGEST SEGWAY FAN EVER