Colonoscopy


An internal investigation

Yesterday marked another rite of passage in the saga of my middle ages. I spent several surprisingly pleasant hours having my colon investigated from the inside out. It was the drugs of course, that gave the experience its warm and fuzzy hue. I hadn't expected that threading a 14 foot tube up my rectum would be so much fun.

Actually I don't remember hardly anything of the procedure. Besides pain killers and tranquilizers there was an "amnesiac." While remaining somewhat conscious I forgot all but a handful of images and sensations almost immediately after they occurred.

The tools at the end of the colonoscope included a TV camera and I did watch, at times, as it made its illuminated journey through my large intestine. And I have a hazy recollection of some vigorous manipulation of my abdomen at one point, presumably to get the tube to turn a corner. What seemed to last only a minute or so took about half an hour. I remember hearing conversation but not what was said, except at the beginning and end. As soon as someone announced that we were finished my attention refocused and continuity gradually returned as they wheeled my stretcher out of the examination room and into a resting area. I can remember the doctor telling me my colon was normal but I'm not sure if it was really him or the nurse.

I felt peaceful and pleased. I had a mild enjoyable buzz that persisted for the rest of the afternoon and evening. In fact I'm still feeling a tiny bit stoned as I write this the next morning. They gave me a list of post procedure instructions and cautions. Some patients feel cramps and there are risks of infection and bleeding. So far though, I have noticed nothing unpleasant "post scope."

There is a warning to refrain from making legal or financial decisions for the next day or two. I can see why.

After my brother picked me up from the hospital I directed him to take me grocery shopping. I hadn't eaten any solid food in almost three days. Instead much of my intake had been three bottles of a salty citrus flavoured laxative that kept me frequenting the bathroom at least once or twice every waking hour. That had been annoying.

So I was hungry. I couldn't however, give him clear directions on how to get to the supermarket. We went out of our way several times in different directions before I got it together. Then I wanted to buy every item I saw, it all looked so good and smelled so delicious. Fortunately I had deliberately left my wallet at home and only had twenty dollars with me. The roast chicken and salad I eventually picked up was probably pretty ordinary but last night it was the best meal I had ever had. This morning's breakfast was more mundane but still tasty.

Why go through all this? If my family doctor and his proctology kin had their way everyone over 50 would have colonoscopies. Early identification of bowel cancers and pre-cancerous polyps usually leads to successful treatment. My father's death from cancer put me in a high risk group. And I have been complaining for several years of rectal bleeding and pain in the rump and lower back. As we all suspected my symptoms are just the result of enlarged hemorrhoids, which may be facing some minor surgery in the near future. Hope the sedatives work as good as they did this time.

Posted: Fri - August 8, 2003 at 08:39 AM          

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