On Facing Adversity - Part 3


For someone who loathes 'drama' as much as my son does, he certainly seems to be a drama factory at times. The most difficult part of being a parent is realizing that sometimes the decisions made by our children have no basis in logic, or seemingly anything.

In Part 2, I discussed how disappointed I was that my son had chosen to keep his impending fatherhood from us for such a long time.

Well, that isn't the only secret he's been harboring.

Again, incredibly, he chose to 'go it alone' on this latest 'drama' issue. For now, I'm not comfortable disclosing what this 'secret' is. Actually, I guess Sherri and I were the only ones in the dark, so maybe it's not really a secret after all.

The secrecy is the most troubling part -- nothing destroys trust more quickly than lies.

I've trusted my son to behave like a rational, responsible adult. The fact that he's made so many questionable decisions with such potentially dire consequences has made me feel like the stupidest parent on earth. Adding insult to injury, everybody else seems to know about it but his family -- the only sure source of unflagging support he'll ever have.

Should I let him fall right on his face? Or will the consequences be too dire?

I've been fighting the urge to feel like I'm somehow a victim in all this, that his 'drama' reflects poorly on me as a parent, that it's all because I didn't raise him properly. My culpability is obvious I suppose, but that has no bearing on the issue at hand: dealing with and minimizing the damage from my son's poor decisions.

I'll have lots of time to reflect on my mistakes later. Now's the time for damage control.

Posted: Fri - June 4, 2004 at 12:47 AM          

©