The Sex Lives Of Fundies



Those of you who haven't already stopped can prepare to be shocked! shocked! shocked! at the way fundamentalist dogma requires married women to provide sex to their husbands whatever the circumstances may be. In the vein of "lie back and think of England", the fundie woman writes in a forum (link courtesy Majikthise):

Posted by anon. please on Thursday, 13 January 2005 at 11:11:00 am

Im sure this is such a common question, but I wonder how all of you get round the demands of pregnancy and making sure your husbands sexual needs are met?
My dh has been extremely understanding recognising that Im not purposely denying him but that tiredness and sickness are taking their toll (Im asleep by 8.30 some nights). However he has said there is no where else he can go without it being sin and this obviously frustrates him.
So how do you deal with it?

Posted by Anon Because of Subject Matter on Thursday, 13 January 2005 at 2:08:00 pm , in response to meeting husbands needs during pregnancy?, posted by anon. please on Thursday, 13 January 2005 at 11:11:00 am

there is no necessary reason for abstinence during pregnancy. We remained as active as usual right up until labor. We had to experiment at times because of the changing shape of my body and because of a wildly fluctuating sleep schedule. But whether or not I was tired or felt out of sorts was just as irrelevant when pregnant as when not pregnant. It isn't about whether or not I'm in the mood, it's about my husband's need and our need to express relationship in a physical manner. I also needed to connect with him even if the need wasn't solely physical. Sometimes I needed to know that I was still physically desirable/attractive and knowing that he wanted me was vastly reassuring.

And really, unless you're not communicating your preferences to your husband and/or he is insensitive about your needs, lack of being in the mood is a temporary thing, right? :) You may not be in the mood to start, but eventually the interest kicks in...*G*

The only scriptual basis for denying a husband is temporary hiatus for prayer. I don't see an exclusion clause for pregnancy. :) So how to deal with it??? Find what works. Experiment with method and schedule. There may be rare times when you are too physically uncomfortable for actual relations, but there are still ways to make sure his needs are met... bowing out now as that is about as far as I can go with this in a public forum....

Anon Because of Subject Matter

Jeez, even the S&M crowd allows for a safe word. According to this unless you happen to be rapping with the Big Guy, get ready for a poking from Big Jim and the Twins. And if you're too tired to fuck him, you'd better suck him or give him a hand job ladies because you'll burn in hell if you don't.

Now my girlfriend could talk me into any of a number of eyebrow-raising sexual amusements, especially if she starts me off with a good bottle of wine. I could probably do the same with her. But demanding sex from a woman when she doesn't want to isn't one of my kinks. It's rude; and like Hannibal Lector, I find discourtesy unspeakably ugly. (I wonder if I should have Anon's husband over for dinner.)

Discovering that men and women like this still live on the planet is like finding a Beta machine in hotel room. They still make these? As if there weren't plenty of reasons why a pregnant woman would not want to have sex at any given moment: swollen ankles, back pain, general fatigue, morning sickness, resentment of spouse who put her in this position by insisting he could pull out before anything happened. For me, and for most of the men I know, if the women in our lives aren't having a good time, we're not having one either. I'd find having sex with a woman who's uninterested or unwilling nauseating. I'd start thinking of myself as one of those 19th century guys who "does his business" on his wife--man-on-top-get-it-over-with-quick--and I'd make myself sick. But where I see the disgusting remnants of a bygone and best forgotten era of human sexual history, fundie guys see their ticket to major stud-dom.

Charles Keating, whose private sex life now opens before me like a grave filled with mucus (Thanks to Anon I have this picture of him in a cassock brandishing a bottle of Log Cabin and demanding that his wife toss his salad in the name of Jesus), produced Perversity for Profit about forty years ago to rail at the pornography industry (You can check this movie out in the Permanent links section, to your right and down a bit. Quicktime is required.). In it, the narrator, George Putnam, tells us that pornography is driving children away from "healthy" attitudes toward sexuality.

If what Anon's doing is healthy, I'll stick with the disease.

Posted: Sun - January 23, 2005 at 05:22 AM        

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