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Better Than a Sharp Stick in the Eye | |
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Better Than A Sharp Stick In The Eye Life as a way-gook (foreigner) is filled with fun and excitement. To give you an idea of how fast things change here, recently we were standing in line at the bank waiting to change our hard earned Won into American Express Dollars when the exchange rate changed in the middle of the transaction and instantaneously lost 5000 won( about $4.50). The bank teller asked for the money back and took the difference out. Thanks to the collapsing dollar, Bush economics, the opening of Fahrenheit 9/11 and other seemly innocuous factors the won exchange rate has climbed rapidly so each month we earn a little more than the previous month. To highlight recent evens I spent the last week in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery; Spider man 2 was just released; and we are now in Typhoon season. For you So Cal people it just means ludicrous amounts of rain and humidity wrapped in 85 F days. The wall paper is pealing, the roaches are breeding and the mosquitoes are biting. Having to receive critical medical care in a non-English speaking foreign culture was definitely an experience. To get diagnosed I was taken over to a clinic which looked similar to a dentist office in a shoe box yet, relatively clean. They gave me a preliminary exam rabbit punched me in the kidney and then shoveled me into a back supply room where they used the ultra sound to verify that I had an appendicitis. No less then a dozen people walked in and out of the room looking at me with my pants down, poking me in the stomach, grabbing a box of latex gloves on the way though etc. They said I needed immediate surgery. They said I needed to go to the hospital. They said I needed a prayer and the light of Jesus on my side. My boss said back to work. He asked if I could finish working the night, luckily my doctor was disinclined to acquiess. Koreans work 6 days a week through pain and strife, an appendicitis is barely an excuse to leave work let alone miss an entire week. I was a little worried, I must admit. I was more concerned with infection than whether or not the doctor was sober. They had to call the doctor in from home since it was after normal work hours. Usually the doctors go home and hit the Soju (korean vodka). I could tell he had at least one and I was hoping the coffee would help. This was a private hospital so it was cleaner and better run than the public hospitals. While in the emergency room I saw a man with a broken arm receive some medical attention. The doctor stood on the bed put his knee in the guys face and set his arm. It looked EXTREMELY painful. The cops brought a drunk man in, tied up like one of those japanese bondage sights: The Art of Rope Tying and all. The surgey room was very clean and everything turned out better than expected considering my limited Korean consisting of yes, no, now, stop, what is this? and How much does this cost? I was hoping this doc wasn't an anti Bush fan, there is a lot of that here and elsewhere. I would hate to be made an example of what happens to poor American tourist when US foreign policy is at odds with the rest of the world. The last thing I remember before getting super high on ether and drifting off to OZ was the surgeon shaving my right side from arm pit to testicle with a straight razor and no shaving cream. I woke up screaming, "OOOWWWW!" along with other explicatives until I realized there were other patients in the room. Then came the real colorful language. I have no memory of any of this but Jess was there to refresh my memory. The best one was when I belted out, " The bastards took my appendix !" Laughing hurt but I enjoyed hearing about post surgury fuge anyway. In Korean hospitals the nurses are there only to give you your meds and check on your IV. That's it, nothing more. They dont fix your bed, they don't help you to the toliet, and they don't give you a sponge bath even if you need it. Your family, in this case Jessica, are responsible for feeding you, washing you, helping you if you need anything etc. Luckily I was a low maintenance patient. I couldn't eat for 5 days and I wasnt aloud to drink for 3 days. They did pump me with enough antibiotics to kill me but I didnt get an infection so I was satisfied with my experience. I have a really cool frankenstien scar since they charge by the stitch here. The doc covered a 3 inch cut with 4 stitches. I was thankful it happened somewhere with access to medical care and a hospital. It's a basic surgery and with no complications things couldn't have worked out better. I have been in inaccessible places, the High Sierras, Borneo, The Java Sea, and in each of those situations this could have been a serious medical problem, like dying from dehydration, but it worked out for the best. Peace |
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