Thu - February 9, 2006
My Camera, in Bitty Bits
So, a couple weeks ago I accidentally killed
my camera. It's kind of a long story, but basically I ended up sailing it across
the room at the daycare, where it collided rather forcefully with the floor.
Not my best day ever.
Yesterday, through the wonder of eBay, I was able to replace said camera, with extra batteries and memory cards and an adapter and filters that screw into that adapter, AND a new case.... which, offset by my Rambo-esque emptying of our storage room that I found out at the last minute would NOT be pro-rated if not emptied BEFORE the month changed over, ended up costing... oh, about 30 dollars.
Even when not offset, it was an amazing deal, and cheaper than downgrading (in megapixels, optical zoom, and features) to a more current camera model would have been.
Here's the picture of the new camera with toys that the Very Nice Man posted on eBay...
And now to the fun part of this... My old camera, so very loved, so very attached to my hand for so long now.... and now in so. many. pieces.
A little breath-taking, isn't it? See, the Mighty Da is nothing if not a techno-phile... and of course she had to try to fix my baby herself...
Here she shows us the tiny flaw that prevented said fixing.... She's pointing to how that one spoke is missing a teeny little... um... stick thingie? (It was sheered off when the camera impacted with the floor...)
Here she demonstrates why that stick is so necessary. See how the lens is falling sideways through its casing? Yeah, it's kind of hard to get it to focus on anything when it's pointed that way.
At this point Karen just kind of went off on this explanation of how all the pieces of my camera fit together... most of which rolled over me like so much incomprehensible, and yet strangely adorable, gibberish....
'See, the flotssamwinger fits thusly into the doohickey..."
OOH! That one I recognize - that's the LCD!
This is the part I found really impressive... Soooo many screws... and all sooooo tiny....
Also, this was the best she could do to find something resembling directions for assembling and disassembling the camera...
The final resting place of my lovely camera....
And the first picture taken with its replacement. Here's hoping we have as many good times together.
Not my best day ever.
Yesterday, through the wonder of eBay, I was able to replace said camera, with extra batteries and memory cards and an adapter and filters that screw into that adapter, AND a new case.... which, offset by my Rambo-esque emptying of our storage room that I found out at the last minute would NOT be pro-rated if not emptied BEFORE the month changed over, ended up costing... oh, about 30 dollars.
Even when not offset, it was an amazing deal, and cheaper than downgrading (in megapixels, optical zoom, and features) to a more current camera model would have been.
Here's the picture of the new camera with toys that the Very Nice Man posted on eBay...
And now to the fun part of this... My old camera, so very loved, so very attached to my hand for so long now.... and now in so. many. pieces.
A little breath-taking, isn't it? See, the Mighty Da is nothing if not a techno-phile... and of course she had to try to fix my baby herself...
Here she shows us the tiny flaw that prevented said fixing.... She's pointing to how that one spoke is missing a teeny little... um... stick thingie? (It was sheered off when the camera impacted with the floor...)
Here she demonstrates why that stick is so necessary. See how the lens is falling sideways through its casing? Yeah, it's kind of hard to get it to focus on anything when it's pointed that way.
At this point Karen just kind of went off on this explanation of how all the pieces of my camera fit together... most of which rolled over me like so much incomprehensible, and yet strangely adorable, gibberish....
'See, the flotssamwinger fits thusly into the doohickey..."
OOH! That one I recognize - that's the LCD!
This is the part I found really impressive... Soooo many screws... and all sooooo tiny....
Also, this was the best she could do to find something resembling directions for assembling and disassembling the camera...
The final resting place of my lovely camera....
And the first picture taken with its replacement. Here's hoping we have as many good times together.
Posted at 05:20 PM Read More
Mon - July 4, 2005
"I Could Not Be More Tired Right Now"
I'm home. And I'm exhausted. And I miss Aud
and Vermont already.
Go play here.
(I did most of the photos, and set up the site. Audrey rocked the captions - except for this wicked case of self-defamation she seems to have caught somewhere. We'll have to work on that.)
Go play here.
(I did most of the photos, and set up the site. Audrey rocked the captions - except for this wicked case of self-defamation she seems to have caught somewhere. We'll have to work on that.)
Posted at 09:16 PM Read More
Tue - May 31, 2005
Aw hell, I took Nathan Fillion's chair...
Thursday night was glorious. I mean,
really.
I know there are those of you who have never seen, or perhaps even heard of Firefly, or Serenity... And actually I'm a little ashamed I haven't been better about spreading the word, which says something about the level of insanity with which I love this story... And really, it is a fantastic story. (That dim cacophony you can make out in the distance is, in point of fact, millions of fans around the world yelling gleeful agreement.)
Anyway, those of you who don't know and love this story, (yes those go hand in hand - I don't know a single person who's seen Firefly and not loved it) you guys will just have to humor us in our excitement. Actually there are those of you who do know and love Firefly *coughScottcough* who are humoring us. We're big with the excitement.
But bear with us here. Our all-time favorite television series has been resurrected from cancellation into a movie. We've followed the entire saga of its rebirth. We kept our heads from exploding when the release date for the movie got pushed back from May to September. We've shown the series to everyone we could get to sit still long enough. We've joined just about every fan group, website and forum we could find. We've bought multiple copies of the series DVDs and passed them out (hey, Mom, guess what one of the things in your goodie box is?).
And then we couldn't get tickets for the ohmigawd special early screening on May 5th.
Talk about bummed.
But then! The first one went so well! And Universal! Blessed, beautiful Universal decided to do it again! In twice the number of cities! And the tickets sold out! Again! In, like, no time! Again!
Karen saw the "sold out" sign come up when she refreshed the "not on sale yet" page for the, like, millionth time. She got up from her desk, walked out of her office, and went to the theater.
And she got us tickets.
I kept those tickets clipped to the first page of my journal. I checked on them every day. I still can't believe that we got to see Serenity. Four months early. And we made it a Date. Which is nice. And K used her wheelchair....
Now, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but Karen's disease comes with a lot of crap.
And I do mean a lot of crap.
So anyone who thinks they may want to get all fussy about her using her wheelchair to avoid having to stand for hours in line or having to sit in a movie theater chair that hurts her, why don't you come on over here so I can reach you to beat you to death with said wheelchair, okay?
Thanks. Moving on.
When we got in the theater (and yeah, I'm repeating things K said, but oh well), the handicapped section was filled with 'reserved' seats, so we tried to make do elsewhere, but it just was not working. The people organizing the event were gracious enough to let us rearrange their seating a bit, and we gratefully eased into the nook designed for us.
And then Nathan appeared. (I sweartogawd, he just materialized. I have no idea where he came from. It was surreal.) And he's funny and has an amazing presence... He's very... centered. And charming. And a flirt. (He actually winked at me when I got our things signed at the very end of the evening. Who does that? And why did it have to be so damn cute??) And he's prettier in person.
(He's so rocketing to the top of our Ideal Donors list. You have no idea.) :)
And I was in his chair.
Oops.
But he wouldn't let me give it back to him (add chivalrous to his list of attributes), and he sat in one of the hard chairs next to Karen.
And so we ate popcorn and watched the Big Damn Movie with Nathan. We had movie night with Captain Mal. And afterwards there was a big Q&A session, and I actually thought of something intelligent to say that made everyone laugh, but I can't tell you what it was because it would give away too much... I hope they put at least part of the Q&A in the special features of the DVD, because there was a bunch of funny stuff and it kills me that K had to miss it to avoid the stampede....
You wanna know what the weirdest thing about the whole experience was?
... So, you know when you're really into a story... and you just want, more than anything, to reach through the screen and smack one of the characters, or shake them? Like in horror movies where you're all, "COME ON!! Don't Split UP!! You NEVER split up!!" But you're really not supposed to be yelling at a screen in a crowded theater so you bite your tongue? Well....
I cannot express to you how much more difficult it becomes to refrain when the actor is sitting right next to you!!
I kept having to sit on my hands so I wouldn't reach across Karen and snatch Nathan-freaking-Fillion up by the arm and yell at him.
It's bad form to accost the actors. I worked that out myself.
I know there are those of you who have never seen, or perhaps even heard of Firefly, or Serenity... And actually I'm a little ashamed I haven't been better about spreading the word, which says something about the level of insanity with which I love this story... And really, it is a fantastic story. (That dim cacophony you can make out in the distance is, in point of fact, millions of fans around the world yelling gleeful agreement.)
Anyway, those of you who don't know and love this story, (yes those go hand in hand - I don't know a single person who's seen Firefly and not loved it) you guys will just have to humor us in our excitement. Actually there are those of you who do know and love Firefly *coughScottcough* who are humoring us. We're big with the excitement.
But bear with us here. Our all-time favorite television series has been resurrected from cancellation into a movie. We've followed the entire saga of its rebirth. We kept our heads from exploding when the release date for the movie got pushed back from May to September. We've shown the series to everyone we could get to sit still long enough. We've joined just about every fan group, website and forum we could find. We've bought multiple copies of the series DVDs and passed them out (hey, Mom, guess what one of the things in your goodie box is?).
And then we couldn't get tickets for the ohmigawd special early screening on May 5th.
Talk about bummed.
But then! The first one went so well! And Universal! Blessed, beautiful Universal decided to do it again! In twice the number of cities! And the tickets sold out! Again! In, like, no time! Again!
Karen saw the "sold out" sign come up when she refreshed the "not on sale yet" page for the, like, millionth time. She got up from her desk, walked out of her office, and went to the theater.
And she got us tickets.
I kept those tickets clipped to the first page of my journal. I checked on them every day. I still can't believe that we got to see Serenity. Four months early. And we made it a Date. Which is nice. And K used her wheelchair....
Now, I don't know if you guys have noticed, but Karen's disease comes with a lot of crap.
And I do mean a lot of crap.
So anyone who thinks they may want to get all fussy about her using her wheelchair to avoid having to stand for hours in line or having to sit in a movie theater chair that hurts her, why don't you come on over here so I can reach you to beat you to death with said wheelchair, okay?
Thanks. Moving on.
When we got in the theater (and yeah, I'm repeating things K said, but oh well), the handicapped section was filled with 'reserved' seats, so we tried to make do elsewhere, but it just was not working. The people organizing the event were gracious enough to let us rearrange their seating a bit, and we gratefully eased into the nook designed for us.
And then Nathan appeared. (I sweartogawd, he just materialized. I have no idea where he came from. It was surreal.) And he's funny and has an amazing presence... He's very... centered. And charming. And a flirt. (He actually winked at me when I got our things signed at the very end of the evening. Who does that? And why did it have to be so damn cute??) And he's prettier in person.
(He's so rocketing to the top of our Ideal Donors list. You have no idea.) :)
And I was in his chair.
Oops.
But he wouldn't let me give it back to him (add chivalrous to his list of attributes), and he sat in one of the hard chairs next to Karen.
And so we ate popcorn and watched the Big Damn Movie with Nathan. We had movie night with Captain Mal. And afterwards there was a big Q&A session, and I actually thought of something intelligent to say that made everyone laugh, but I can't tell you what it was because it would give away too much... I hope they put at least part of the Q&A in the special features of the DVD, because there was a bunch of funny stuff and it kills me that K had to miss it to avoid the stampede....
You wanna know what the weirdest thing about the whole experience was?
... So, you know when you're really into a story... and you just want, more than anything, to reach through the screen and smack one of the characters, or shake them? Like in horror movies where you're all, "COME ON!! Don't Split UP!! You NEVER split up!!" But you're really not supposed to be yelling at a screen in a crowded theater so you bite your tongue? Well....
I cannot express to you how much more difficult it becomes to refrain when the actor is sitting right next to you!!
I kept having to sit on my hands so I wouldn't reach across Karen and snatch Nathan-freaking-Fillion up by the arm and yell at him.
It's bad form to accost the actors. I worked that out myself.
Posted at 07:51 PM Read More
Fri - May 27, 2005
Um.
We just got home from the
movie.
Um.
We sat next to the captain himself.
And I mean right. next. to. him.
More later. Right now I need.... to... um... I dunno.
Breathe, mostly.
Um.
We sat next to the captain himself.
And I mean right. next. to. him.
More later. Right now I need.... to... um... I dunno.
Breathe, mostly.
Posted at 01:17 AM Read More
Mon - February 28, 2005
And then we were attacked by frogs.
we're in a room
without a door
and i am sure without a doubt
they're gonna wanna know
how we got in here
and they're gonna wanna know
how we plan to get out
we better have a good explanation
for all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
and they are going to be mad
and i am sure without a doubt
they're gonna wanna know
how we got in here
and they're gonna wanna know
how we plan to get out
we better have a good explanation
for all the fun that we had
'cuz they are coming for us, babe
and they are going to be mad
So, Karen and I recently celebrated our first anniversary.
I found this stupidly exciting.
It's silly because we've been together for over 5 years, but I love that now I can say things like, "In the first year of our marriage...." :D
Heh.
Also, I can officially recommend getting married on Valentine's Day. It totally made it feel like the entire world was celebrating with us. (Which is funny, considering how much of the general public would emphatically not want any part of celebrating our love.)
I stick my tongue out in their general direction.
To celebrate, Karen got us tickets to see Ani DiFranco (all quotes in this entry are from her songs, btw). This is a truly amazing thing because while Ani is my all-time favorite musician, and has been for almost a decade, Karen's not a big fan. Which worried me, since it was supposed to be about Us celebrating, not just Me, ya know? But Karen insisted it would be an adventure for both of us, and asserted (admittedly for about the millionth time) that it's not that she dislikes Ani, it's just that she can't understand what Ani's saying.
Which is truly heart-breaking, considering it's the things Ani says, and the way she says them that make me love her so very much.
Actually, a funny story - back in the day, when Karen and I were first dating, I brought one of my tapes along for a car trip and introduced her to the wonder of Ani. I put the cassette in her truck's stereo, the music started... and Karen literally threw herself at the deck trying to rescue my tape. She thought her truck was eating it. I then had to stop laughing long enough to explain to her that, no, that's just the way Ani sings.
I swear our age difference can be so much fun sometimes.
i am an all powerful
amazon warrior
not just some sniveling girl
so no matter what i think i need
you know i can't possibly
have a need in this world
come and come for that sweet sweetness
i'll be your never ending vending machine
i could never need to be alone
never need to be my own
as much as you need your queen
i know men are delicate
origami creatures
who need women to unfold them
hold them when they cry
but i am tired of being your savior
and i am tired of telling you why
not just some sniveling girl
so no matter what i think i need
you know i can't possibly
have a need in this world
come and come for that sweet sweetness
i'll be your never ending vending machine
i could never need to be alone
never need to be my own
as much as you need your queen
i know men are delicate
origami creatures
who need women to unfold them
hold them when they cry
but i am tired of being your savior
and i am tired of telling you why
Anyway, getting back to the concert... I'll admit I wasn't too difficult to convince. After all, this was Ani. And, as much as I love her, I'd never actually been to one of her concerts. Ever. And she was playing, somewhere we could get to, within days of our anniversary. And her starter act was Andrew Bird, who I really wanted to investigate more of. Rob raves about him, and I ended up using one of his songs as the main menu music on our wedding DVD. So, yeah, seeing him seemed wildly appropriate.
So, we went.
It was.... sublime. Perfection. Glory. Music like magic and artists channelling the Divine, and Karen making friends with half the audience (like she does). :) Random strangers came back from intermission and wished me a happy anniversary.
And people call me the outgoing one. :)
Andrew Bird is wildly talented, and a big freak. This is a combo that always appeals to both of us. Ani was... Ani.
I've never been a big concert-goer... I've only been to a handful or so of them in my life, and the majority were big busts... But I'm starting to get it.
:) I just know when I talk about this, long-time concert lovers smile condescendingly and want to pat me on the head or something, but.... There is something incredibly visceral and almost sexual about music you can feel in your intestines... music that dances around your rib cage and alters the beat of your heart. And as amazing as that realization was, seeing Ani was exponentially better because I got that and it was Ani.
I spent the next few days with every thought dancing around my brain as poetry... Not that I could write any of it down, mind you. It defied capture.
So yeah, incredible. And Karen actually understood a lot of the lyrics (not that she'll admit it, she likes to go with the funny version of any event.) :)
i'm holding here a book
notable, but not the greatest
stolen for me by the latest
in a long line of thieves
and i'm just about to drop it
down that manhole of memories
when i realize it doesn't bother me
like love's mementos usually do
and i look up to see who's different here
the latest me or the latest you
Afterward we were making our way through the
crowd and all but ran directly into my ex-fiance. Talk about
random.
Just Plain (as he shall be known here), was walking by carrying a kid. Too old to be his, I'd gauge, but excuse me while I boggle for a moment at the thought of Just Plain actually hanging out and being kind to a child.... Okay, I'm back. He and Karen shared a look and a "Hey," and I turned and looked at them, figuring Karen was acknowledging another of her smoke-break friends. I registered the kid ('hmm, kid') and we kept walking.
I never even saw him.
Strange, that. I was with this man for almost 4 years. We were friends for, oh, 3 years before that... You'd think the first time we run into each other after our relationship exploded I'd actually, oh, maybe recognize him??
But no.
I'm still not sure what, if anything, to make of that.
Anyway, I'm sure somebody out there's wishing I'd get to the frogs already. ;)
My evil twin, who I may have mentioned here once or twice, has always maintained that frogs are the Ultimate Evil. It appears they've decided to take out their frustration at her slander on me. And they don't care if they have to take my lovely wife out with me.
After the concert, and the near miss, the lateness of the hour and the closed-ness of the rest of the building necessitated our hiking around the long way and through a marshy field (complete with muddy ditch - frog nirvana) to get back to the car. Before heading across the field, I dug around in my Magic Bag for a time to find the small flashlight I knew was in there... And the croaking all around us started to get closer, and louder...
"Um, baby," Karen sounded worried, ".... they're coming closer."
"No they're not," I denied quickly, not wanting her to bolt and leave me alone with them.
Armed with my flashlight we headed across the field. The ditch in the middle required a bit of a jump, and just as I was about to go, a frog croaked from, like, my right ankle.
I screamed like a girl.
And, if you listen carefully, I think you can still hear Karen laughing.
Just Plain (as he shall be known here), was walking by carrying a kid. Too old to be his, I'd gauge, but excuse me while I boggle for a moment at the thought of Just Plain actually hanging out and being kind to a child.... Okay, I'm back. He and Karen shared a look and a "Hey," and I turned and looked at them, figuring Karen was acknowledging another of her smoke-break friends. I registered the kid ('hmm, kid') and we kept walking.
I never even saw him.
Strange, that. I was with this man for almost 4 years. We were friends for, oh, 3 years before that... You'd think the first time we run into each other after our relationship exploded I'd actually, oh, maybe recognize him??
But no.
I'm still not sure what, if anything, to make of that.
Anyway, I'm sure somebody out there's wishing I'd get to the frogs already. ;)
My evil twin, who I may have mentioned here once or twice, has always maintained that frogs are the Ultimate Evil. It appears they've decided to take out their frustration at her slander on me. And they don't care if they have to take my lovely wife out with me.
After the concert, and the near miss, the lateness of the hour and the closed-ness of the rest of the building necessitated our hiking around the long way and through a marshy field (complete with muddy ditch - frog nirvana) to get back to the car. Before heading across the field, I dug around in my Magic Bag for a time to find the small flashlight I knew was in there... And the croaking all around us started to get closer, and louder...
"Um, baby," Karen sounded worried, ".... they're coming closer."
"No they're not," I denied quickly, not wanting her to bolt and leave me alone with them.
Armed with my flashlight we headed across the field. The ditch in the middle required a bit of a jump, and just as I was about to go, a frog croaked from, like, my right ankle.
I screamed like a girl.
And, if you listen carefully, I think you can still hear Karen laughing.
i walk in stride with people
much taller than me
and partly it's the boots but
mostly it's my chi
and i'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which i believe just signifies
i'm finally waking up
....
and i am trying to evolve
i'm just trying to evolve
so i walk like i'm on a mission
cuz that's the way i groove
i got more and more to do
i got less and less to prove
it took me too long to realize
that i don't take good pictures
cuz i have the kind of beauty
that moves
Last -- Home -- Next
Posted at 12:05 PM Read More
Wed - December
29, 2004
Good Duck
Well, I did
it.
Today I finally encountered (and survived) the experience of parenting through a haze of blind rage that makes you want to pop her little head off like a champagne cork.
I don't know why I'm surprised at how angry Cheyenne can make me, everything I've ever felt towards her has been intense... I'm still a bit shaken, but she's asleep now, and I have the wonder of internet-therapy, and a slight sense of accomplishment to help me through the after-shocks.
(I'm proud of myself for resisting the urge to completely shut down in my anger. I didn't get all my thoughts out, but I did manage to speak rationally and not explode, so good for me.)
Phew.
Today I finally encountered (and survived) the experience of parenting through a haze of blind rage that makes you want to pop her little head off like a champagne cork.
I don't know why I'm surprised at how angry Cheyenne can make me, everything I've ever felt towards her has been intense... I'm still a bit shaken, but she's asleep now, and I have the wonder of internet-therapy, and a slight sense of accomplishment to help me through the after-shocks.
(I'm proud of myself for resisting the urge to completely shut down in my anger. I didn't get all my thoughts out, but I did manage to speak rationally and not explode, so good for me.)
Phew.
None of this is meant to suggest that her visit has been somehow less than a miracle. It's just that she seems to be in this truly horrible stage right now where she's decided it might be fun to give her teen years a trial run, and why not try being the most attitudinal teen she can fathom?
And this is the first time we've had her all to ourselves for an extended period. As we pointed out to her, when we're only together for 12 hours we can afford to go wild the entire time, but 6 days requires some semblance of structure and spreading out of the fun. People must sleep. There must be real food and tooth-brushing and medicine-taking. For Divinity's sake, we're not at Mimi's house. We actually get to be the Adults In Charge. (Imagine that.)
Oh, how she's been testing us. How far can she push? How much can she get away with? Hitting us? Dictating imperiously to us How Things Will Be?
Will pouting get her way? Whining? Tossing her hair and demanding?
How about telling Da she's acting like she doesn't love Chey anymore when she insists on real food before desert?
Or telling me I'm 'getting on her last nerve' when I make her lay down to sleep? ('No, really, Jen, I sleep sitting up!')
::single eyebrow raise::
Um, No.
I am so unbelievably grateful to CP for giving me a job in daycare 6 months ago. I have actual, concrete tools for this sort of behavior. It's amazing.
And I am thankfully in awe of Karen. I have been more often taking up the mantle of Bad Cop, but K has not flagged an inch in backing me up. She hasn't once turned into Softy Da when we got into a hard spot. When Chey started trying to treat me as 'less than' she and Da, Karen put a swift and decisive stop to it (before I even noticed what was happening). I thanked her for all this and she said we are a United Front. I can't express how much that helps.
It's not even like we're puritanical parents. Not by any stretch of the imagination. This is still vacation time, after all.
And it really has been great...
Sure, Chey's in a rough spot, but it's still her under there. She's still sweet and wicked smart and funny. She's still compassionate and doesn't want to hurt or frustrate us... She wants so badly to "be a good girl."
...And why does that phrase annoy me so much? Probably because I hate thinking that she would consider herself to be "bad." She may very well indulge in some downright bratty behaviors, but she is not "bad." Everything she's exhibiting makes perfect sense when you take in all the nature and nurture going on; do I need to go into all the psychoanalysis? Probably (hopefully) not.
She's a Good. Kid.
And oh, there has been such bliss... When did "I Spy" become so much fun? When did she learn so much about everything? And really, didn't I used to hate bubble gum flavored gum?
Yesterday was one of the most amazing days of my life... Chey and I went down to see my parents and Mamaw and they were all awesome. Mamaw was overwhelmed by Chey last time she came through (3 years ago), so I was really scared about even trying to have her see Chey now. I talked to her about how Mamaw is very old and kids can be a bit much for her, and Chey did so good at being mellow. We gave Mamaw and her brother, Uncle Bud, their gifts and Mamaw offered Chey the sparkly paper to play with. Chey whispered to me that she wanted to cut Mamaw a heart out of it, if I would help her find some scissors. So we spent a moment in the next room and I think Chey may have managed to charm even my grandmother.
My dad and stepmom took us to this huge arcade/rides/pizza place (after showering Chey with books and a cd player and clothes that she immediately had to put on)...
And then they hung out and played with her... They helped her win enough tickets to get this little stuffed unicorn (now named Rosemary). By the time we left, Chey was tearing up at the thought of leaving Grandma and Grandpa. She was frantically searching for their car as we drove away and waving at everyone just in case it was them. We didn't get 5 miles before she sighed and said, "I miss Grandma and Grandpa already."
So, yeah, you guys give good 'grandparent.' She's totally in love with you... And I felt like I was driving a good 4 feet off the road the whole way home...
Cheyenne, at 6 1/2, is rambunctious and energetic. She still adores make up. She's still a music fiend, and keeps a discman next to her car seat. She sings all the songs out loud, whole-heartedly and off-key. This is, in turns, incredibly endearing (You Make Me Feel Like Dancing) and hysterical (Baby Got Back). She's incredibly cuddly and will run to each of us, often, almost wailing "I need you!" She seems to be growing out of most of her food allergies. She still gets shy about meeting people, but she wants to know the people who are important to us. She draws really well, and a lot...
She still makes the words "I love you" seem terribly small.
And I'll leave you with a funny conversation she and I had today on the way back from Costco -
Chey - I can draw a bunny! Do you want me to?
Jen - Yeah!
(some time passes.)
Chey - Can it be a bird instead?
Jen - Of course.
Chey - ...You might think it looks like a duck....
........ Or it could be a duck.
Posted at 11:40 PM Read More
Mon - December
13, 2004
Bribery Works
It seems that my bird is planning an uprising
against us.
She's played it pretty close to the chest, I must say. I don't think I would have suspected anything at all if I hadn't caught her in the act of gathering troops...
Our spare room is now home to two bunnies (Bastian and Sera) and Samaara, the Crabby Cockatiel. Sammy's cage sits on top of the bunny cages (they're in separate cages as neither has been fixed yet), and most of the supplies sit up there with her. She's allowed to keep her cage door open all day as none of the other animals bug her, and her door really is her favorite place to sit. Personally I think that's mainly because she can hold onto it and flap her wings, causing the door to swing back and forth.
She's a bird. It's the simple pleasures that make life worthwhile.
Hard as it may be to believe, none of our cats feel the need to hunt her, so I don't have to worry about them. And she doesn't really like leaving her cage too far behind, so she'll toddle around her veranda, but I don't have to worry about her wandering off.
What I didn't realize I needed to worry about was the small package of graham crackers Karen insists on using as rabbit treats.
Now, we humans of the household have gone around and around about the graham crackers. I think Karen is far too free with treats and risks making someone sick; Karen thinks I worry too much. We've finally reached the compromise that each bunny only gets a quarter of a cracker....
Imagine my surprise this evening when we were laying on the floor, hanging with the animals, and Bastian was, out of nowhere, chewing on half of a graham cracker.
I took it from him and figured K had just slipped it to him (wouldn't put it past her.) That's when it happened....
Bastian reared up on his hind legs. He cocked his head at Sammy.
And I sweartogawd, she pushed another cracker off the edge of his cage.
...
The screechy little pain in my ass has actually been dragging graham crackers out of the package and pushing them over the edge.
... Maybe I should just surrender now.
She's played it pretty close to the chest, I must say. I don't think I would have suspected anything at all if I hadn't caught her in the act of gathering troops...
Our spare room is now home to two bunnies (Bastian and Sera) and Samaara, the Crabby Cockatiel. Sammy's cage sits on top of the bunny cages (they're in separate cages as neither has been fixed yet), and most of the supplies sit up there with her. She's allowed to keep her cage door open all day as none of the other animals bug her, and her door really is her favorite place to sit. Personally I think that's mainly because she can hold onto it and flap her wings, causing the door to swing back and forth.
She's a bird. It's the simple pleasures that make life worthwhile.
Hard as it may be to believe, none of our cats feel the need to hunt her, so I don't have to worry about them. And she doesn't really like leaving her cage too far behind, so she'll toddle around her veranda, but I don't have to worry about her wandering off.
What I didn't realize I needed to worry about was the small package of graham crackers Karen insists on using as rabbit treats.
Now, we humans of the household have gone around and around about the graham crackers. I think Karen is far too free with treats and risks making someone sick; Karen thinks I worry too much. We've finally reached the compromise that each bunny only gets a quarter of a cracker....
Imagine my surprise this evening when we were laying on the floor, hanging with the animals, and Bastian was, out of nowhere, chewing on half of a graham cracker.
I took it from him and figured K had just slipped it to him (wouldn't put it past her.) That's when it happened....
Bastian reared up on his hind legs. He cocked his head at Sammy.
And I sweartogawd, she pushed another cracker off the edge of his cage.
...
The screechy little pain in my ass has actually been dragging graham crackers out of the package and pushing them over the edge.
... Maybe I should just surrender now.
Posted at 11:19 PM Read More
Fri - July 16, 2004
Children & The Jentle Disciplinarian
I've been doing a lot of pondering the nature
of children lately.
I mean, I have all these sketches I've done of kids over the years. I have pictures I drew a decade ago.... And the children in these pictures don't exist anymore. They've been replaced by teenagers... I wonder what they're like now.
And then I think about the adults I know and the children they once were... :) I can imagine some better than others. I wonder about the child I was... I think I remember her, but then I only knew her from the inside.
People talk a lot about how the best thing about children is how much potential they have... how they can become anything, the whole world is at their feet, etc. And it's true, but it's not all sunshine and flowers. Kids have as much potential for tragedy as they do for triumph.
Sometimes more, given where they're coming from...
As adults we talk a lot about the ways we are that stem from things that happened to us as children...
I look at these kids and it's overwhelming sometimes to realize that they are in the business of becoming the humans they will be in this world... And we are helping them decide how (and who) they want to be.
It's interesting to talk to CP about children, about how they've changed over the years. She's been taking care of children for 30 years now, and it's amazing the amount of wisdom and perspective she has...
She tells me that she's seen a sharp decrease in imaginative play with the increase of access to media - television, movies, video games. Children don't build as much as they used to, and they destroy a great deal more... She's also seen the trend of people waiting longer to have children lead those parents to become overindulgent.
We have one little girl who is very pretty and very sweet, and obviously has her every whim catered to. She will sit or stand somewhere, just staring off into nothing, until someone comes along and does whatever it is she needs for her. It's scary to think about the precedent this is setting for the rest of her life... Of course we've started working with her on this issue, but ultimately we are only her daycare providers.
There's a definite danger of my being an overindulgent parent. I'm much better at hugging and cuddling than I am at scolding...
So, you ready for a surprise? It turns out that the hard part for me is not that I have to be forceful and "The Bad Guy," though of course that can suck. No, actually, the biggest problem I'm having is that I just cannot think up consequences off the cuff.
I was an incredibly low-maintenance kid... I didn't get in very much trouble at all. I was, in point of fact, so much with the not getting in trouble that as I approached my teen years my mother started begging me to do something wrong. See, she was petrified I was going to go off on my own and then have my rebellion phase, without the safety net of my family (see Myrna for a stunning example).
So now, when I'm confronted with a misbehaving kid, I just... boggle. I'm totally lost. I mean... when I tell you there's something you're supposed to do, well... you're supposed to do it. That's why they call it "what you're supposed to do," and not "something optional." Defiance, disrespect, lack of cooperation... they all just flummox me. My mind goes completely blank.
I'm left with such brilliant responses as, "Well, you really need to put away the toys now, or..... or.... Or Else!"
Oh yeah. That's effective.
Luckily CP is very patient with me, and I am storing up appropriate consequences as I go... For example: children who cannot stay with the group when we're outside playing have to go inside where they can be supervised; those who do not help pick up the toys will not get to play with them next time, also we cannot move to another activity until the last one is cleaned up; and anyone who's being unsafe in the pool needs to get out of the pool until they feel like they can be safe while swimming... :) One of the advantages of dealing with so many kids at once is that most every day is somebody's turn to be a pill.
Hopefully at some point my brain will kick into gear and I won't have to go to my internal list to know what would make sense for a given situation...
Any day now.
I mean, I have all these sketches I've done of kids over the years. I have pictures I drew a decade ago.... And the children in these pictures don't exist anymore. They've been replaced by teenagers... I wonder what they're like now.
And then I think about the adults I know and the children they once were... :) I can imagine some better than others. I wonder about the child I was... I think I remember her, but then I only knew her from the inside.
People talk a lot about how the best thing about children is how much potential they have... how they can become anything, the whole world is at their feet, etc. And it's true, but it's not all sunshine and flowers. Kids have as much potential for tragedy as they do for triumph.
Sometimes more, given where they're coming from...
As adults we talk a lot about the ways we are that stem from things that happened to us as children...
I look at these kids and it's overwhelming sometimes to realize that they are in the business of becoming the humans they will be in this world... And we are helping them decide how (and who) they want to be.
It's interesting to talk to CP about children, about how they've changed over the years. She's been taking care of children for 30 years now, and it's amazing the amount of wisdom and perspective she has...
She tells me that she's seen a sharp decrease in imaginative play with the increase of access to media - television, movies, video games. Children don't build as much as they used to, and they destroy a great deal more... She's also seen the trend of people waiting longer to have children lead those parents to become overindulgent.
We have one little girl who is very pretty and very sweet, and obviously has her every whim catered to. She will sit or stand somewhere, just staring off into nothing, until someone comes along and does whatever it is she needs for her. It's scary to think about the precedent this is setting for the rest of her life... Of course we've started working with her on this issue, but ultimately we are only her daycare providers.
There's a definite danger of my being an overindulgent parent. I'm much better at hugging and cuddling than I am at scolding...
So, you ready for a surprise? It turns out that the hard part for me is not that I have to be forceful and "The Bad Guy," though of course that can suck. No, actually, the biggest problem I'm having is that I just cannot think up consequences off the cuff.
I was an incredibly low-maintenance kid... I didn't get in very much trouble at all. I was, in point of fact, so much with the not getting in trouble that as I approached my teen years my mother started begging me to do something wrong. See, she was petrified I was going to go off on my own and then have my rebellion phase, without the safety net of my family (see Myrna for a stunning example).
So now, when I'm confronted with a misbehaving kid, I just... boggle. I'm totally lost. I mean... when I tell you there's something you're supposed to do, well... you're supposed to do it. That's why they call it "what you're supposed to do," and not "something optional." Defiance, disrespect, lack of cooperation... they all just flummox me. My mind goes completely blank.
I'm left with such brilliant responses as, "Well, you really need to put away the toys now, or..... or.... Or Else!"
Oh yeah. That's effective.
Luckily CP is very patient with me, and I am storing up appropriate consequences as I go... For example: children who cannot stay with the group when we're outside playing have to go inside where they can be supervised; those who do not help pick up the toys will not get to play with them next time, also we cannot move to another activity until the last one is cleaned up; and anyone who's being unsafe in the pool needs to get out of the pool until they feel like they can be safe while swimming... :) One of the advantages of dealing with so many kids at once is that most every day is somebody's turn to be a pill.
Hopefully at some point my brain will kick into gear and I won't have to go to my internal list to know what would make sense for a given situation...
Any day now.
Posted at 09:52 PM Read More
Thu - June 10, 2004
The Beginning Looms Large
Okay, so what's the
deal?
Either I post every. single. damned. day..... OR I am the Queen of Silence.
I will achieve a "happy medium" in something, even if it kills me.
Either I post every. single. damned. day..... OR I am the Queen of Silence.
I will achieve a "happy medium" in something, even if it kills me.
----------------------------------
I had my first staff meeting last night.... We went over the summer program and chose lesson themes for each week. (The entire summer's theme is farming, so each week we're tackling a different manner of farm, with a break in the middle for Christmas in July and at the end for Monster Week. Heh. I like monsters.) We reviewed the daily schedule and basic policies and rules. They gave me a short profile of each of the children. I took a bunch of notes. (Those who know me are SHOCKED, let me tell you. To them: let it be known I only used two colors of pen this time. So there.) ;)
We talked about the Family Night we'll be having mid-July, and I offered to make iMovies of the kids we could give the parents and to paint faces at the actual event. We're trying to get ponies for part of the evening and it'll also be a reunion of sorts with CP's past kids coming back to visit with their parents.
I'm already learning so much from CP, it's exciting. And I'm gratified by how many of the things I think of she instantly wants to write down.
...Since I actively started researching parenthood, it's been a never-ending succession of things I hadn't learned yet. First I got obsessed with pregnancy and birth; I read and took the midwifery intensive training and all that, and then realized my empirical data on actual babies was sorely lacking. I got reacquainted with babies and then got scared about all the things I don't know about kids.
I'm blessed in that I tend to have a child or children in some way around me most of the time... A boyfriend's niece, the neighbor's kid, a friend's twins, etc, etc... I love children and have had lots of children to love over the years. It's always sad when our lives drift apart, but then that's kind of the way of kids, isn't it? You love them intensely and then they go away; either you stop being around their parents or they grow up, but either way you lose the child they were.
My mom tearfully admitted to me a few years back that when I was a toddler she realized that fact and because of it held herself distant from me to a certain extent... She feels like she didn't love me as well or as deeply as she could have because she knew I wouldn't stay.
Personally I think this is just silly. The wisdom of her choices for us may be susceptible to, well, outright ridicule sometimes, but I never once doubted the intensity of her feeling for me. If anything, I would wish I hadn't been quite so important to her, but it's all in the past and not worth too much investment of my energy.
Anyway, back to the present.
I'm more than a little overwhelmed by both the sheer number of children I'll be dealing with at once, and by the challenges posed by a couple of the kids in particular right now... But I have to keep in mind that I'm not supposed to know everything about what I'm doing right at first, and that there are other adults there to help. Also, if this was already old hat to me, I wouldn't have so much opportunity to learn here, and it's the learning that has me most excited.
So, yeah, I'm terrified, but I'm more excited.
I've been tested for tuberculosis (I'm clear), and I've been fingerprinted. CP's just waiting to get my clearance from the state fingerprinting people and then I can start. (Sergeant Grumpy Pants was very efficient in ending my life of crime before it could even get started, but I felt kind of like one of those people trying to get the palace guards in London to crack a grin. Probably for the best that I didn't actually call him 'Sergeant Grumpy Pants' to his face, huh? I just don't see how anybody could be so serious when he's wearing bright purple gloves. Maybe it's just me.)
Yup, probably Monday will be my first day....
Could be tomorrow even, if she gets my clearance today...
Uh huh.... Excited and terrified...
Okay, maybe terrified and excited.
Posted at 12:39 PM Read More
Mon - March 22, 2004
My First Doll.... Kinda
Much to the horror of... well, some of the
very most important people in my world, I am going to make
dolls.
Okay, I know. Dolls are creepy. I agree.
At least some dolls are.
Okay, a lot of dolls are creepy.
China dolls are almost all creepy. (I apologize if you are a china doll lover, but seriously.) I have absolutely zero interest in making china dolls.
Barbies aren't creepy at all. As Peach Daddy said, 'Who could be afraid of a ditzy chick with a rack like that?' (That's at least close to what he said, I didn't have a notepad handy.) I still have many of my childhood Barbies. Unfortunately for Miss Chey-Chey though, I'm not interested in trying to make (or remake) Barbies. I don't tend to like working in plastic, and Jnl is already the Queen of Redoing Barbie in my world.
I wanna make cloth dolls... Though it's true that even those can be SUPER creepy, I believe that a doll is, well, what you make it.
I chose to make non-creepy dolls.
Yesterday I went supply-shopping with my birthday money (more on my birthday in another entry). I was out for about three hours of blissful enactment of online research.
I had a highly detailed list.
I kept having to explain to people that I wasn't in any actual class. I also kept stumping salesgirls.
Poor salesgirls.
While out, I found a kit for making an actual sock monkey. Myrna loves sock monkeys. She even has pajamas with sock monkeys on them...
I just spent about 7 hours making a sock monkey, complete with its own little teddy bear, a flannel sleep hat, felt slippers and a wire-based bendy tail of my own design. It was good practice, getting used to the idea of working with stuffing and fabric. And it's a pretty simple form, quite unlike the projects I really want to take on. (Click each word for a different idea I like.)
...Or at least try.
Basically my... goal is for Goddess sculptures I can keep on my altar until I'm feeling the need for a little cuddle time with the Divine.
Plus, I believe Mom likes dress-up.
So, back to the sock monkey. I'd been planning on finding the socks and making one for Myrna regardless, and the kit was too good to pass up.
:) Heh. This way I was actually able to keep it a surprise, though it didn't help that she walked in while I was making it!!
See, she was supposed to go straight over to her friend's house after work today, but instead she decided to get my meds for me first. Ya know, 'cuz she's thoughtful.
Damned thoughtfulness.
I heard her key hit the lock and in half a breath I'd grabbed all the bits and pieces and thrown them under the table I was sitting at. Then I just had to keep up the pretense that I was sitting at my sewing machine for Absolutely No Reason.
Never mind the little scraps of... thread and fabric and stuff that accumulates around the sewing process. Never mind the fact that she knew how excited I was to have my doll supplies and that there was no way in hell I was not working on something today.
Never mind the half-sewn little felt bear in my hand or the fact that I was leaning oddly to shield as much of the actual project from her view as possible.
Luckily she chattered on to me for a bit about her day and I smiled and nodded and pretended I actually have a poker face.
I can't believe I pulled it off.
She went to her friend's and I finished everything and now there's only waiting for her to come home and find it...
Okay, I know. Dolls are creepy. I agree.
At least some dolls are.
Okay, a lot of dolls are creepy.
China dolls are almost all creepy. (I apologize if you are a china doll lover, but seriously.) I have absolutely zero interest in making china dolls.
Barbies aren't creepy at all. As Peach Daddy said, 'Who could be afraid of a ditzy chick with a rack like that?' (That's at least close to what he said, I didn't have a notepad handy.) I still have many of my childhood Barbies. Unfortunately for Miss Chey-Chey though, I'm not interested in trying to make (or remake) Barbies. I don't tend to like working in plastic, and Jnl is already the Queen of Redoing Barbie in my world.
I wanna make cloth dolls... Though it's true that even those can be SUPER creepy, I believe that a doll is, well, what you make it.
I chose to make non-creepy dolls.
Yesterday I went supply-shopping with my birthday money (more on my birthday in another entry). I was out for about three hours of blissful enactment of online research.
I had a highly detailed list.
I kept having to explain to people that I wasn't in any actual class. I also kept stumping salesgirls.
Poor salesgirls.
While out, I found a kit for making an actual sock monkey. Myrna loves sock monkeys. She even has pajamas with sock monkeys on them...
I just spent about 7 hours making a sock monkey, complete with its own little teddy bear, a flannel sleep hat, felt slippers and a wire-based bendy tail of my own design. It was good practice, getting used to the idea of working with stuffing and fabric. And it's a pretty simple form, quite unlike the projects I really want to take on. (Click each word for a different idea I like.)
...Or at least try.
Basically my... goal is for Goddess sculptures I can keep on my altar until I'm feeling the need for a little cuddle time with the Divine.
Plus, I believe Mom likes dress-up.
So, back to the sock monkey. I'd been planning on finding the socks and making one for Myrna regardless, and the kit was too good to pass up.
:) Heh. This way I was actually able to keep it a surprise, though it didn't help that she walked in while I was making it!!
See, she was supposed to go straight over to her friend's house after work today, but instead she decided to get my meds for me first. Ya know, 'cuz she's thoughtful.
Damned thoughtfulness.
I heard her key hit the lock and in half a breath I'd grabbed all the bits and pieces and thrown them under the table I was sitting at. Then I just had to keep up the pretense that I was sitting at my sewing machine for Absolutely No Reason.
Never mind the little scraps of... thread and fabric and stuff that accumulates around the sewing process. Never mind the fact that she knew how excited I was to have my doll supplies and that there was no way in hell I was not working on something today.
Never mind the half-sewn little felt bear in my hand or the fact that I was leaning oddly to shield as much of the actual project from her view as possible.
Luckily she chattered on to me for a bit about her day and I smiled and nodded and pretended I actually have a poker face.
I can't believe I pulled it off.
She went to her friend's and I finished everything and now there's only waiting for her to come home and find it...
:) I think it came out
well.
Posted at 09:58 PM Read More
Wed - February 18, 2004
There and Back Again
... Mostly I was absolutely positive I was going to cry.
Waiting to go in the temple, while everyone walked the labyrinth and meditated on their wishes for us, knowing Karen was outside somewhere, with Jess and Mom fixing this and that last thing and Audrey running back to my room for the forgotten hand-fasting cloth... I was excited more than nervous, and mostly I was absolutely positive I was going to cry.
Thankfully the hotel had a tissue dispenser in the wall just there. And I have enough cleavage to carry most of the box.
Small blessings.
Saturday was the most beautiful day of my life.
.... I never thought I'd get to be a serene bride.
I mean, yeah, it was crazy. It wouldn't have been a wedding if it wasn't crazy! You guys who read here saw mostly my moments of freaking out... but for the vast majority of the time I was incredibly calm.
Mom kept saying I was far too mellow to be a bride. Of course, she was stressing enough for the both of us... and then some. ;)
I have doubted myself in everything my whole life... Even 9 months ago I would have been sketchy about making this commitment... But now?
It was perfect and all I felt was anticipation.
:) Mom was absolutely precious, by the by. It was as much her day as it was ours, if not more so in many ways. I even let her put makeup on me, which is why I cared about crying anyway. I hope she had as good an experience as we did. I think she did.
I was giddy and we were surrounded by people who love and support us. I was accosted by cameras instead of being the accoster. My father gave a toast.
It was awesome.
Of course there were people who couldn't be there... And apparently at least one who felt excluded, though it wasn't our intention. There were things that just didn't get done in time and things that got forgotten.
But it was still perfect.
Wedding Album
Posted at 02:28 PM Read More
Tue - January 20, 2004
AAAAAAAAAA.
Okay. Totally overwhelmed right
now.
I'm getting married in 3 weeks, and this impromptu wedding is completely exploding into a full-fledged ::insert ominous music here:: Wedding.
Time to pause. Focus on the good stuff.
My god... the response we've been getting from all of you is overwhelming. Thank you so very much.
I honestly don't know if we will be able to narrow down when the ceremony's going to happen so people can be there. I will see what we can do, but believe me, we know you'll be there in spirit even if you can't be there physically.
:) Marn's sending me something blue. Hopefully I can talk Puck into manning the camcorder (up for it, Puck?) and my friend Jessica used to be a wedding planner AND is making me a DRESS!!!!
Oh... and there've been requests for a registry...
Yikes. I hate shopping. I'm also in the midst of trying to get rid of things, not add more. I'm pondering setting up a donation button here so people who want to can contribute to the wedding fund, Jess suggested a card box that people can slip well-wishes in... I've also been looking around at amazon and target online to see what we might actually be able to use, but as much as I'd like to pick out some nicer dishes and such I'm just not finding anything good. Besides which I hate feeling like I'm all, 'Here, buy me stuff.' Ugh.
Suggestions welcome, people. Help!
For another good part... I am amazed at how calm I am about the commitment aspect of our wedding. I mean, we're actually involving paperwork, people. And the laws are changing here in Cali such that starting in '05, should we decide to split (Goddess forbid) we'll have to go through all the legal hassles of a divorce.
Which is a good thing - I've always been all for same-sex marriage having equal rights as hetero...
I've just also been a little relieved that we couldn't get married.
I've never been a big believer in marriage. Wanted to be, just couldn't. Both my parents have been married 3 times (Mom's searching for #4, but Dad's found a keeper). Growing up just about everyone I knew had been divorced, and those who had stuck together really shouldn't have (almost without fail).
I fell in love with my ex-fiance, Just Plain, and finally I could see forever. I knew, at a fundamental level, that he was the one and we were meant to be together. I was so very, very wrong. Which completely shook my faith in myself to judge anything, let alone pick who I could build a happy life with.
Karen had also just left a bad relationship, so we had a lot to get over together... In fact from the very first we acknowledged that we were a rebound relationship, we certainly wouldn't last, but we were good for each other's egos and a kind of post-relationship-trauma healing.
Six months later we looked at each other in shock - "You're still here!" At that point we decided that maybe we really had something and starting looking at whether we could stay together.
We were together about a year and a half the first time she proposed. In the parking lot of the Home Depot she dropped to one knee... It wasn't the best place for a proposal, and I cried all the way home. She made me admit that was a no.
I suck at saying no.
Later that year, on Winter Solstice, she brought home a bottle of champagne and a ring. That one was an unqualified yes.
:) She told me afterwards that if it had been another no she'd planned on taking up drinking again, starting with the celebration champagne.
The next summer we gave up on being able to afford a wedding and so went to our favorite park and had a private hand-fasting.
I wigged in a major way over that ceremony. Commitment phobia reared its ugly head and stomped all over me. I made it through exchanging rings, but if she'd brought out Domestic Partnership paperwork I would've run into traffic.
At that point we performed a Year and a Day commitment, which is an old Celtic tradition wherein the bond is automatically dissolved a year and a day later. It was a set period of time that I could get my brain around. We knew we wanted a bigger ceremony eventually, we just couldn't afford one and after being engaged to Just Plain for FOUR years, I was a little jumpy about being asked to marry someone who doesn't actually want to follow through and get married.
We're not real date-oriented people, so our year and a day has been up for a while now, and we keep meaning to renew our vows. Which is what this wedding will be.
Only this time, no expiration date.
I'm so excited. :)
(Did I mention I get to have a dress?) ;)
I'm getting married in 3 weeks, and this impromptu wedding is completely exploding into a full-fledged ::insert ominous music here:: Wedding.
Time to pause. Focus on the good stuff.
My god... the response we've been getting from all of you is overwhelming. Thank you so very much.
I honestly don't know if we will be able to narrow down when the ceremony's going to happen so people can be there. I will see what we can do, but believe me, we know you'll be there in spirit even if you can't be there physically.
:) Marn's sending me something blue. Hopefully I can talk Puck into manning the camcorder (up for it, Puck?) and my friend Jessica used to be a wedding planner AND is making me a DRESS!!!!
Oh... and there've been requests for a registry...
Yikes. I hate shopping. I'm also in the midst of trying to get rid of things, not add more. I'm pondering setting up a donation button here so people who want to can contribute to the wedding fund, Jess suggested a card box that people can slip well-wishes in... I've also been looking around at amazon and target online to see what we might actually be able to use, but as much as I'd like to pick out some nicer dishes and such I'm just not finding anything good. Besides which I hate feeling like I'm all, 'Here, buy me stuff.' Ugh.
Suggestions welcome, people. Help!
For another good part... I am amazed at how calm I am about the commitment aspect of our wedding. I mean, we're actually involving paperwork, people. And the laws are changing here in Cali such that starting in '05, should we decide to split (Goddess forbid) we'll have to go through all the legal hassles of a divorce.
Which is a good thing - I've always been all for same-sex marriage having equal rights as hetero...
I've just also been a little relieved that we couldn't get married.
I've never been a big believer in marriage. Wanted to be, just couldn't. Both my parents have been married 3 times (Mom's searching for #4, but Dad's found a keeper). Growing up just about everyone I knew had been divorced, and those who had stuck together really shouldn't have (almost without fail).
I fell in love with my ex-fiance, Just Plain, and finally I could see forever. I knew, at a fundamental level, that he was the one and we were meant to be together. I was so very, very wrong. Which completely shook my faith in myself to judge anything, let alone pick who I could build a happy life with.
Karen had also just left a bad relationship, so we had a lot to get over together... In fact from the very first we acknowledged that we were a rebound relationship, we certainly wouldn't last, but we were good for each other's egos and a kind of post-relationship-trauma healing.
Six months later we looked at each other in shock - "You're still here!" At that point we decided that maybe we really had something and starting looking at whether we could stay together.
We were together about a year and a half the first time she proposed. In the parking lot of the Home Depot she dropped to one knee... It wasn't the best place for a proposal, and I cried all the way home. She made me admit that was a no.
I suck at saying no.
Later that year, on Winter Solstice, she brought home a bottle of champagne and a ring. That one was an unqualified yes.
:) She told me afterwards that if it had been another no she'd planned on taking up drinking again, starting with the celebration champagne.
The next summer we gave up on being able to afford a wedding and so went to our favorite park and had a private hand-fasting.
I wigged in a major way over that ceremony. Commitment phobia reared its ugly head and stomped all over me. I made it through exchanging rings, but if she'd brought out Domestic Partnership paperwork I would've run into traffic.
At that point we performed a Year and a Day commitment, which is an old Celtic tradition wherein the bond is automatically dissolved a year and a day later. It was a set period of time that I could get my brain around. We knew we wanted a bigger ceremony eventually, we just couldn't afford one and after being engaged to Just Plain for FOUR years, I was a little jumpy about being asked to marry someone who doesn't actually want to follow through and get married.
We're not real date-oriented people, so our year and a day has been up for a while now, and we keep meaning to renew our vows. Which is what this wedding will be.
Only this time, no expiration date.
I'm so excited. :)
(Did I mention I get to have a dress?) ;)
Posted at 11:05 AM Read More
Thu - December
25, 2003
A Very Bunny Xmas
We're having a heat wave in Vermont. Go
figure.
There's still a significant amount of snow, don't get me wrong, but yesterday it rained all day and the roof of the shed out back in now completely clear.
But there's still snow and I'm still giddy with joy over it.
Our plans for the day include a James Bond movie marathon; I've only seen two so far and my Evil Twin appears to be something of a fanatic. Other than that I believe we're going to eat curry, drink tea, and try like hell to convince two very handsome bunnies that they'd rather be the best of friends than bite each others' noses off.
I give you His Brattiness, Mr. Scratch (black) and his soon-to-be Very Best Friend, Sir Neo.
There's still a significant amount of snow, don't get me wrong, but yesterday it rained all day and the roof of the shed out back in now completely clear.
But there's still snow and I'm still giddy with joy over it.
Our plans for the day include a James Bond movie marathon; I've only seen two so far and my Evil Twin appears to be something of a fanatic. Other than that I believe we're going to eat curry, drink tea, and try like hell to convince two very handsome bunnies that they'd rather be the best of friends than bite each others' noses off.
I give you His Brattiness, Mr. Scratch (black) and his soon-to-be Very Best Friend, Sir Neo.
It's a very sad story, really. Scratch came
to live with my twin along with his sister The Ninja Sniff, courtesy of Rob. They were close as two bunnies can be...
Well, not
that
close, Aud certainly wasn't going to let them repeat the trick their parents
pulled.
Unfortunately, Ms Sniff didn't make it through surgery when it was her turn to get fixed.
This has been an understandably difficult time for Aud and Yoshi. Of course there's been the agony of losing their pet, but added to that has been Scratch's mourning.
The thing about bunnies is that they are incredibly social animals. They literally need each other to survive. So not only had they lost Sniff, but Scratch was visibly fading away before their eyes.
Not fun.
So Mr Scratch needs (and wants) a partner, and that's what he's gotten for Christmas.
The other thing about bunnies is that as much as they need other bunnies, they'd rather have you pull their ears off than admit that they need other bunnies.
They're a wee bit stubborn that way.
Heh. Not unlike my Evil Twin.
So Scratch and Neo have just spent an entire night staring at each other from neighboring pens - just far enough apart that they can't bite each other through the grating, and with all other views but each other draped off. Later they'll get run around time and then switch pens.
Oh yeah, we're all kinds of evil. You get a pen all situated the way you like it, with your own Very Special Poo and everything, and we just up and move you into the Other Bunny's Space!
And guess what. Later, after you've gotten comfy again, we'll be switching you again.
We are such pains in a bunny's ass.
I'm really looking forward to when Aud emails me the first pictures of the two of them sleeping on each other.
Then shall I smirk mightily.
Unfortunately, Ms Sniff didn't make it through surgery when it was her turn to get fixed.
This has been an understandably difficult time for Aud and Yoshi. Of course there's been the agony of losing their pet, but added to that has been Scratch's mourning.
The thing about bunnies is that they are incredibly social animals. They literally need each other to survive. So not only had they lost Sniff, but Scratch was visibly fading away before their eyes.
Not fun.
So Mr Scratch needs (and wants) a partner, and that's what he's gotten for Christmas.
The other thing about bunnies is that as much as they need other bunnies, they'd rather have you pull their ears off than admit that they need other bunnies.
They're a wee bit stubborn that way.
Heh. Not unlike my Evil Twin.
So Scratch and Neo have just spent an entire night staring at each other from neighboring pens - just far enough apart that they can't bite each other through the grating, and with all other views but each other draped off. Later they'll get run around time and then switch pens.
Oh yeah, we're all kinds of evil. You get a pen all situated the way you like it, with your own Very Special Poo and everything, and we just up and move you into the Other Bunny's Space!
And guess what. Later, after you've gotten comfy again, we'll be switching you again.
We are such pains in a bunny's ass.
I'm really looking forward to when Aud emails me the first pictures of the two of them sleeping on each other.
Then shall I smirk mightily.
Posted at 10:26 AM Read More
Fri - December
19, 2003
Snow
I've been packing off and on all
night....
My best friend called me yesterday and said she needs me, so I'm on a plane to Vermont tonight for the holidays.
Those ducks that were nicely rowed up? They're doing the cha-cha all over the house.
I hate packing. Have I mentioned that before? It's still true.
It'll be nice to be in Vermont again. (Hey Marn, wanna meet up?) It'll be great to be in snow again. I'm glad that I can be there when my Evil Twin needs me, and relieved that she actually let me know.
At the same time... Gods, I'm going to miss Karen.
And she damned well better take some video of Chey for me.
--------------------------------------------
I haven't written here in far too long, and now I'll be gone again - Apparently the snow storms have done something funky to Audrey's DSL service, which also means that while you can click the link over to the right and bask in the glory that is her journal being back up and running, it'll be a while before you can expect updates.... Then again, maybe she can do those from work, I'm really not sure.
--------------------------------------------
I get to see my Monster!!!
AND I get to be in snow!
Some of my best memories of my Midwestern Exile are blanketed in white... Emerging from a movie marathon in the middle of the night to find the first snowfall... Learning about all the different kinds of snow... Getting snowed in our miniscule apartment with several friends - shifting seats every fews hours, tracking the snow fall with height marks and times on the windows, painting the mural... And most of all, curling up with all the lights off and watching the snow fall through the street lights...
They kept telling me I'd grow to hate the snow, and I may yet... but I'm glad I can still enjoy it, and that I'm getting a chance to do so now.
Audrey might not have a big front window like we did, but I'm sure she and I will find plenty of ways to entertain ourselves.
My best friend called me yesterday and said she needs me, so I'm on a plane to Vermont tonight for the holidays.
Those ducks that were nicely rowed up? They're doing the cha-cha all over the house.
I hate packing. Have I mentioned that before? It's still true.
It'll be nice to be in Vermont again. (Hey Marn, wanna meet up?) It'll be great to be in snow again. I'm glad that I can be there when my Evil Twin needs me, and relieved that she actually let me know.
At the same time... Gods, I'm going to miss Karen.
And she damned well better take some video of Chey for me.
--------------------------------------------
I haven't written here in far too long, and now I'll be gone again - Apparently the snow storms have done something funky to Audrey's DSL service, which also means that while you can click the link over to the right and bask in the glory that is her journal being back up and running, it'll be a while before you can expect updates.... Then again, maybe she can do those from work, I'm really not sure.
--------------------------------------------
I get to see my Monster!!!
AND I get to be in snow!
Some of my best memories of my Midwestern Exile are blanketed in white... Emerging from a movie marathon in the middle of the night to find the first snowfall... Learning about all the different kinds of snow... Getting snowed in our miniscule apartment with several friends - shifting seats every fews hours, tracking the snow fall with height marks and times on the windows, painting the mural... And most of all, curling up with all the lights off and watching the snow fall through the street lights...
They kept telling me I'd grow to hate the snow, and I may yet... but I'm glad I can still enjoy it, and that I'm getting a chance to do so now.
Audrey might not have a big front window like we did, but I'm sure she and I will find plenty of ways to entertain ourselves.
Posted at 05:42 AM Read More
Sun - November 30, 2003
::shudder::
I may very well be scarred for
life.
Friday night I went down to Turlock's Festival of Lights. I spent the evening at Jessica's Wellness Center painting bunnies and butterflies and such on the faces of little children.
It was a great evening. But then, what's not to like?
Kids? Adorable.
Painting? Big fun.
Jess' shop? Herbs and oils and incense, oh my.
Add the fact that Jess is one of the dearest people in my world, and I got to visit with other dear ones I hadn't seen in some time, and it was an all-star night.
Except.
Where to begin?
Jess is like a sister to me, and I'm incredibly impressed that she's got her own business. This was the first time I'd been to see the place, and everything in it tickled me. It seemed almost like visiting a second home of hers, so I felt more comfortable than I normally would in a store environment.
Comfortable enough to forgo fashioning a toilet seat cover out of toilet paper, as I usually do.
What a mistake.
It was late in the evening. I'd been painting little ones and having a blast and was generally excited with life when It Happened.
I went back to the little restroom. I smiled at the glitter some kids had left on the sink when they came back to see my handiwork. I dropped my pants and sat down. I didn't notice until I stood back up that my butt was..... was......
Wet.
::shudder::
It took a moment for the full import of this to hit me. Not only had children been in this room shortly before me, some of them had been Male Children.
Male Children are notorious for their Lack Of Aim.
Is there a support group for something like this?
Friday night I went down to Turlock's Festival of Lights. I spent the evening at Jessica's Wellness Center painting bunnies and butterflies and such on the faces of little children.
It was a great evening. But then, what's not to like?
Kids? Adorable.
Painting? Big fun.
Jess' shop? Herbs and oils and incense, oh my.
Add the fact that Jess is one of the dearest people in my world, and I got to visit with other dear ones I hadn't seen in some time, and it was an all-star night.
Except.
Where to begin?
Jess is like a sister to me, and I'm incredibly impressed that she's got her own business. This was the first time I'd been to see the place, and everything in it tickled me. It seemed almost like visiting a second home of hers, so I felt more comfortable than I normally would in a store environment.
Comfortable enough to forgo fashioning a toilet seat cover out of toilet paper, as I usually do.
What a mistake.
It was late in the evening. I'd been painting little ones and having a blast and was generally excited with life when It Happened.
I went back to the little restroom. I smiled at the glitter some kids had left on the sink when they came back to see my handiwork. I dropped my pants and sat down. I didn't notice until I stood back up that my butt was..... was......
Wet.
::shudder::
It took a moment for the full import of this to hit me. Not only had children been in this room shortly before me, some of them had been Male Children.
Male Children are notorious for their Lack Of Aim.
Is there a support group for something like this?
Posted at 11:12 PM Read More
When did I become Lucy?
Quick Links
Calendar
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
Categories
Archives
XML/RSS Feed
Statistics
Total entries in this blog:
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Mar 18, 2006 06:58 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Mar 18, 2006 06:58 PM