An American in Asia: His Quest for Cosmic Truth (or at least a Decent Espresso)

 

Buddha's birthday, Cambodian Visas, Casino Airports, and Budget Airlines

Does anyone know if this animal is poisonous? It looks poisonous.

Happy Visakha Bucha Day! On May 12, Thailand celebrates simultaneously the birth, enlightenment and death of the Buddha, who was economic-minded enough to consolidate his holidays into one, unlike certain messiahs who gave us Christmas, Good Friday and Easter.

Across Thailand, religious flags will be flown and Thais will flock to their local temples for ceremonies and acts of selfless generosity. In the countryside, farmers wake at dawn to cook food which they then offer to local monks. In the evening lines of people will circle the temples three times in candlelit processions.

For myself I plan to have a bit of a read. The Sutra of Hui Neng is a pretty cool Buddhist text written by the Sixth Patriarch of Chinese Buddhism. Actually not written by him directly, but by one of his followers. This is because Hui Neng was an uneducated Southerner who could neither read nor write, but was enlightened nonetheless when he heard a monk reciting the Buddha's Diamond Sutra. As an uneducated outsider, he was a big proponent of the idea that you didn't need a lot of book-learnin' to achieve enlightenment and that Buddhahood is immanent in every being at every moment, like a forgotten 100 dollar bill in our back pocket, waiting to be discovered.

Cambodian Visas Available Online

Cambodia has initiated an eVisa programme, by which travellers can obtain their visas online up to three months before they hit the road. On reading this news my initial thought was perhaps this might be a way around the extortion problems at some of the country's overland gateways. The border at Poipet, in particular, is well-known for adding 'handling fees' of five or ten bucks onto the cost of a visa that is supposed to be US$20.

However, as I read the details on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs website, I discovered there is a US$5 handling fee imposed for the online visas, "to cover the additional operation cost of an online process." And here I always thought that things were processed online because it was cheaper and faster to have a couple guys plunking away on computers in a windowless room than a counter full of frowning officials barking at confused tourists.

Continuing with the fine print, my hopes for the lost souls at Poipet Immigration were further dashed by the announcement that, "e-Visa is presently available for entry to the Kingdom of Cambodia via Phnom Penh Pochentong International airport and Siem Reap International airport only," and not at any of the overland immigration points.

So as it stands, travellers arriving by air have a choice of paying 25 bucks for their visa online, or walking in to the airport with a blank passport and a headshot and paying US$20 for the stamp at the counter as they have done for years.

While I don't see any motivation to use the online service, it is interesting that, as the US border crossings become more and more complicated, even for its own nationals, a third-world country like Cambodia is embracing technology to streamline immigration procedures.

Whereas most countries are picky about passport pictures - requiring an actual photo and not a computer print-out - Cambodia asks only that we email a jpeg image of ourselves that is less than one megabyte. You can photoshop out that zit on your forehead if you want to look your best for the government officials. That, along with a valid passport and a credit card number, will get you a 30-day tourist visa by email.

A matter of national security?

This begs the question of whether Cambodia's borders have now become more porous to internet-savvy nefarious types. The answer, of course, is "How in the world could Cambodia's borders be any more porous?" The country is not well-known for its high security and, with tourism as its number one money-maker, there is little motivation for keeping anyone out.

On a related security note, if anyone wants to send an anonymous suitcase unaccompanied to almost anywhere in the world, start in the town of Poipet. One Cambodian airline operates a flight from there to Siem Reap. Passengers and luggage are checked in at a local casino, from where they are driven by van to a small airport. Anyone who wants, for whatever reason, to send a suitcase to New York, LA, London or Missoula, need only slip a sufficient bribe to the underpaid van driver. A quick stop at a gas station and the suitcase could be slipped on board with a copy of a luggage tag in the name of whichever of the passengers is heading to the preferred destination.

My point being that if anyone really wants to breach US security, there will always be a way to do it. (Here we go - ready?) The answer to terrorism is not war. It is the responsibility of consumers. Remember what your parents told you about dealing with the schoolyard bully? Terrorism only works because people are terrified. Every person who cancels their travel plans for fear of terrorists, is partially responsible for the proliferation of terrorism. That cancelled flight is a vote for Osama. The economic downturn which followed the 9/11 tragedy showed the bullies that their strategy works and encouraged others to follow suit. Stand up to the bullies - they can't fight the whole school (OK finished).

More on airline safety: you don't get what you don't pay for

I'm all for saving money but there are a few places where it might be wise to splurge a bit. The hospital is one, and maybe airlines are another.

These days more and more budget airlines are sprouting up. Low-cost carriers is the term they prefer but, "a rose by any other name" will still fly on the cheap. The basic concept is that they save money by any means possible and pass that savings on to the passenger, thereby broadening their customer base immensely to cover the lower profit margin.

A question that often comes up among prospecive passengers is, "With all the cost cutbacks, are the planes safe?" Luckily the reliability of an aircraft is largely determined by the airports at which they are allowed to land. Airports check aircraft often and thoroughly because they want to avoid crashes at all costs. If an airline crashes in one market, they can just fly to another, but an airport isn't quite so mobile. So when a spate of technical problems plagued Phuket Air recently the airline was not grounded, but they are banned from landing anywhere in Europe.

So, while I know Orient Thai's budget arm, One-Two-Go, flies the oldest planes in Thailand, I don't worry about the aircraft so much. What concerns me is the staff. If a company is paying its pilots below-average wages, they are not getting Chuck Yeager. They're getting the flight school's D-students.

Think about it this way: when you hop in a friend's car, are you more concerned about the make and model or the driving skills and sobriety of your friend?

Enough ranting already!

Alright, this week has been another editorial rant. I had promised myself, briefly after last week's editorial rant, that I would return to a more descriptive first-person visceral experience type of column. So next week I promise a more interesting read. Or maybe the week after. As always, feel free to comment by clicking the email link at left.