An American in Asia: His Quest for Cosmic Truth (or at least a Decent Espresso)

 

Wine, Bicycles, Buffaloes, Dirty Politics and a Consumer Victory

Bicycles and red wine rank among my favourite things, so when the Bangkok-based tour company, SpiceRoads, offered me a free tour through the vineyards surrounding Khao Yai national park, it took less than three nanoseconds to agree.

It took a lot longer to send them my email accepting the offer - two weeks or so - but they forgave me and last weekend I strapped myself onto a mountain bike and caught a great buzz.

Khao Yai is a sane three-hour drive north of Bangkok, or two hours by insane tour van driver. The park is part of the Dong Phayayen-Khao Yai Forest Complex, which was inscribed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2005 and is home to several endangered species including tiger, elephant, leopard cat, and banteng.

I know you're wondering so I'll tell you: a banteng is a smaller, more aggressive buffalo. Now you know.

I'm not sure if the animals I caught in the photo at left are banteng, but they are some kind of Thai buffalo. Apparently buffalo aren't the smartest of creatures, so when Thais want to imply someone is stupid, they call them a buffalo (kwai in Thai).

Once we reached the first vineyard by van, we hopped on our bikes, adjusted the seats (and I fiddled with the cable length adjustment on my rear sprocket), and hit the trails. It was sunny and dry, but rains the day before had created a satisfying amount of mud.

What is the logic of building a pair of tree stumps from cement? Anyone?

We headed up a valley covered in small vineyards and lined on either side by craggy jungle hills. The group consisted of several tour operators and a few of media dogs like myself. The tour operators were primarily French, Austrian and German. The media consisted of two Thai newspaper women, myself and another American, who was a long-time resident of Thailand and the publisher of a magazine aimed at the backpacker market.

This man seemed to feel the need to live up to the American stereotype and for the entire day, I could hear him loudly declaiming his opinion and establishing the superiority of his knowledge on any subject at hand. While I inwardly winced in embarrassment for my nationality, the Germans ignored him, the Frenchmen smiled in smug amusement, and the Thais actively cowered. I wondered how a man could spend so much time in Asia without inheriting at least a touch of outward humility.

While I wasn't out to set any records and just wanted to enjoy the trails and have some fun with jumps and mud puddles, my enthusiasm put me at the head of the pack.

At the beginning of the ride my compatriot had bragged that he was a speed demon despite a chain-smoking habit. "Hardcore bikers are big-time smokers," he had claimed. This resulted in him singling me out as someone to be beaten. I had to suffer most of the day with him huffing around me, pulling ahead on the downhills and falling behind on the uphills. Finally after 20 kilometres, there was a giant hill and I didn't see him anymore until the end.

Granmonte vinyard CEO, Mr Visooth Lohitnavy, tours us around the estate.

There he pulled up while I was talking with the Frenchmen about the last bit of wine we'd had. We had decided that the Thai soil and climate had a unique and agreeable influence on the French grapes. My fellow countryman, predictably, scoffed that we could have stomached such swill, saying, "I know about wine. I run a magazine."

My French friends grinned in wan amusement, for during our earlier conversation it had come out that I had worked as the wine buyer in a nouvelle-cuisine restaurant for several years. It was the kind of awkward moment that seems to really amuse the French. I was at a loss for words so I put a look of wide-eyed innocence on my face and said, "Tell me more."

While the trip was a brilliant and enjoyable break for me, I worry for the health of tourists who try it. Bicycles and tropical heat are a challenging combination for your average resident of the northern hemisphere, and throwing several wine tastings into the mix is definitely questionable. I returned to Bangkok with the interesting combination of a sunburn, muscle fatigue and a hangover.

No One for President

Back in the capital, bars had closed for Saturday night at 6pm, as this is the usual policy when the following day is an election day. Thai men have a reputation for binge drinking, especially on weekends, and the government is understandably worried that hung-over voters might not make it to the polls.

Current prime minister, Thaksin Shinawatra, has been struggling with waning public support and an increasing number of large-scale demonstrations against his Thai Rak Thai (TRT) party. Thinking he could gain a public mandate to wield power for the rest of his term, he called a snap election, which these parliamentary democracies do every so often.

It was a clever idea, because the opposition parties were given little time to drum up support and use anti-TRT sentiment to their advantage. The strategy has blown up in Thaksin's face, however. Instead of offering their own candidates, the opposition boycotted the election and encouraged voters to tick "no vote" on their ballots.

The result is that though many TRT candidates for parliament were unopposed in their districts, many of them got fewer votes than the "no vote" option. A total of 38 of them lost to no one because there is a rule which states that an unopposed candidate must gain at least 20 per cent of the eligible voters in their area.

I hesitate to predict what will happen now. If I were a betting man, I'd put half my money on the TRT to remain in power, with Thaksin likely to reclaim leadership. If so, protests will increase and, unless the TRT makes some placating moves, violence will ensue.

[OK, a quick update: it looks like I would have lost half my money. The very next day after Thaksin made belligerent claims that the opposition could only pry leadership from his cold dead hands, he came out of a meeting with the King and unceremoniously quit his job. He'll be replaced by some TRT guy I know nothing about. For now it seems the public will be satisfied with the scapegoat and real issues such as rampant corruption will be put back to bed, tucked in and kissed goodnight.]

I Fought the Airlines - and I Won

After a twelve-hour sleep at my hotel, I went to the airport for my flight to Phuket on Nok Air, the budget carrier run by Thai Airways International. Before I left the capital, I had a bit of business to do with the airline.

On my flight from Phuket, a few days earlier, we had taxied to the runway when some technical problem popped up. An aircraft mechanic came out and prodded at the nose of the plane for a bit, then sent us back to the terminal. There, we were handed a reboarding pass and told to sit down.

I pestered a flight attendant to find out exactly when we would be leaving. She estimated three hours. Now, by International Air Transport Association guidelines, airlines must refund ticket prices if flights are late by more than three hours, so I cancelled my seat and took a Bangkok Airways flight 30 minutes later. The flight attendant said I must get my refund at the Bangkok Airport office.

So, when I checked in at Bangkok for my return flight a few days later, I asked the guy at the counter about my refund. "Nok Air doesn't give refunds," came the smug reply.

I smiled, as you do in Thailand when things start to fall apart, and asked, "If I want to hear it from someone more important than you, where do I go?" A dirty look made a brief appearance on his face then retreated back under its rock. He reluctantly directed me to the main office, where a cheerful assistant manager arranged my refund without any trouble.

It was only 30 bucks but it was a satisfying victory against a higher power. A bit of a David and Goliath experience. It doesn't often pay to know your consumer rights, but this time it did. Thank you Ralph Nader!