Things that hold the power to evoke emotion keep a strong hold on our lives. When several of them come together, it's overwhelming.
I had decided that if I'm really going to do what I want to this fall, I need to put other things aside. Today, I skipped a road-trip race for local solo ride. With a high of 103 and wanting to get in 50 miles, I was on the PSP fireroads before 7am. 40 miles and two camelbaks later, I was where motivation outweighs exhaustion. The most remote section of singletrack, drips of sweat pouring off my helmet with every root or bump in the trail, my legs wanting to slow down, border-line heat-exhaustion, Gravedigger by Dave Matthews Band came on my iPod.
If you've been that whipped in that kind of heat, you understand. Sitting still, the environment seems to drift away from you. Moving, you lose your periphery and can only focus on what's directly in front of you. Hallucinogenic. Combining that with an personally emotional song, I could stay on the bike and pedal, but I couldn't have expressing anything to anyone if anyone had been there. My vision blurred, my hands sore, and my legs stinging.
Thoughts and memories came to mind, mostly evoked by the music, that I don't care to share. There's a certain side to me I just have a hard time letting people see. It relates to a side of living that we all must experience at some point, tragic and painful. But it also reminds us of the beauty of life. The beauty of our lives and the lives we miss.