Spending some time contemplating my mountain biking last week, I felt something had to be done. Last weekend at the Rappahannok Ridge Rumble, I had another DNF this year and, had I finished, I would've been last again in Expert Men. The DNF was due to flat tire, which had a slow leak even after I fixed it trailside. Another me, in another time, would have filled it up or fixed it again, but really, I just didn't see the point. The self-respect gained from just finishing didn't seem worth the effort and pain. I enjoyed the race and Konrad does a great job, but it just wasn't my day. ...again.
After last year, I just assumed that I would be better this year. If I am, it's hasn't been showing and I've been leaving races disappointed and unhappy. Liz mentioned that I should ditch Expert and ride enduro at Hilbert and then it just seemed so clear. I'd joked around about being between Sport and Expert, now it just seemed so obviously clear that it was more truth than fiction. I could go out, race as hard as I could for 20-some miles, come in last, and shrug it off. I couldn't do it all season though.
At the Enduro starting line, I felt better and was excited to ride. People talked about how many laps they wanted and not needing to warm up. They talked about how tired they'd be at the end. They didn't talk about getting creamed or holding on to the pack. People were out there ready to race against themselves and that's a world I feel more at home in.
I pushed out 8 laps for 48 miles in 5:15. After 4 laps, I could tell my front tire was low and put more more PSIs in. After 7, my back was killing me and I called it quits. One pepsi and a glance at the time clock made me want to get another. I rode it out, slowly, but not to place or beat someone (though I was a little torn when Paul Leeger slipped past me), but just to do what I had set out to do.
Afterwards, I tried to hang out and chat, but felt like I was going to pass out, so just sat on the ground drinking Mountain Dews. I never did check out the results but will shortly when they're posted. I was probably mid-pack, but regardless, I had a great time doing something I love and even got some good training for the SM100. Maybe, someday, I'll compete in Expert again, but not until I can leave knowing I had fun out there.