rec.arts.tv Commentary:

MY REVIEW: The '99-'00 Season: The Shows (Cable & Syndication):

This article was written, by me, and posted to the 
rec.arts.tv newsgroup on May 31, 2000. 
That original article has been slightly edited by me 
before being placed on the web on January 28, 2001.

THE SHOW REVIEWS (Cable & Syndication):

NOTE: See the Discussion Section for the explaination of the Grading scheme for this Review.

I'm not going to belabor the point on this show. Unlike some of the Sci-Fi heads, I don't believe it's the be-all-and-end-all of SFTV right now. But, of all the cable and syndicated SFTV dramas, this show is probably the most solid. While sometimes it puts out some clunky episodes, it also occasionally manages to come up with some inspired ones (the episodes where Crighton (Ben Browder, doing a good job in making you root for Crighton) thinks he's returned home, and the episode about Aeryn Sun's (Claudia Black, subtlety effective) past, leap most to mind, though I also have a soft spot for episodes with lots of Chianna (Gigi Edgley)). The cast is pretty solid, the muppets are looking more and more lifelike and believable, and the writing manages to put some fresh spins on creaky, old SFTV conventions and cliches. All in all, that's a welcome thing!

"Farscape" won't win any awards, nor should it. But it's good, solid escapist SFTV. If you haven't already, you may want to check it out.

Oddly enough, I'm probably one of the few defenders of this show. It sure takes a lot of knocks from the SFTV contingent!

But maybe that's because they are not exactly used to what "First Wave" is trying for: basically, this show is a cross between "The Invaders" (a much underrated entry in earlier SFTV) and... well, "Silk Stalkings"!

Premise: aliens are planning to invade and take over the Earth in three waves. Right now, the aliens are only on the "First Wave" (which basically involves recon and researching the humans). To carry out the "First Wave", the aliens (conveniently) take on the form of highly attractive, overly sexual (in a "They've *got* to have it!" kind of way) human beings. But intrepid Cade Foster (hunky Canuck actor Sebastian Spence) is hip to the aliens plans, and he'll stop at nothing to make sure that the aliens never get to the "Second Wave", and beyond. Thus, we have a "Fugitive" like character who roams the countryside looking for aliens to expose or defeat, which allows for your usual Skiffy action sequences, and some "Silk Stakings"-esque titillation sequences to boot.

Now, frankly, I thought that this formula worked better in the show's first season, where the "titillation" factor wasn't nearly so overt as it's been in the show's second season. While the second season has had some nice touches (including the increasingly obvious 'unhinging' of Cade Foster being one of them), it just hasn't worked for me as well as season #1.

So, I'd put "First Wave" down as a pleasant SFTV diversion. It's certainly not everybody's cup of tea. But, then again, I'm not sure that it's supposed to be taken all that seriously either. YMMV.

No End-of-the-Year Review list is complete without a couple of "Guilty Pleasures", and here's my 'guiltier' of the two: that's right, it's the syndicated action/fantasy drama "Beastmaster".

Why "Beastmaster"? Well, surprisingly, this show has three things going for it:

1. The cast. While not uniformly excellent by any means, each member of this cast has a certain "entertainment value", that casts on many other syndicated dramas lack. The highest "E.V." portions of the cast are undoubtedly Grahame Bond (having too much fun 'hamming it up' as The Ancient One, a powerful ancient wizard), Steven Grives (with a great bass voice for the dastardly King Zad), Jackson Raine (as smart, bookish, jittery Tao, the Beastmaster's sidekick) and Emilie De Ravin (doing double duty, here as the piqueish, mischievous forest demon Curupira, and on "Roswell" as fourth alien Tess). I'm also fairly high on Monika Schnarre as The Sorceress (OK, mostly because she's beautiful, and really *tall*! but she also does some solid work), and even Aussie Daniel Goddard as Dar The Beastmaster (who seems to be one of the few Aussie actors who can pull off a nearly flawless American accent).
2. The dialogue. OK, yeah sure, sometimes the dialogue on this show goes beyond silly (examples: Evil King Zad, referring to a flesh devouring Minotaur: "I feel a certain kinship with this bloodthirsty beast!"; or Curupira to Dar: "You *said* you were my friend! You *are* my *friend*, aren't you Beastmaster?..." (of course, the latter scene was salvaged by De Ravin's bright smile when Dar answers in the affirmative)). But, in some scenes, especially in those scenes where The Ancient One and The Sorceress banter back and forth, or when Tao spouts a profundity or two, the dialogue manages (even in this creaky setting) to come alive. In scenes such as these, the dialogue can be surprisingly engrossing (must be the better educated Aussie scribes that the show is presumably using!).
3. The relationship between Dar and Tao. There was a time, not so long ago, when "buddy" shows (often with all *male* casts) were the norm on TV, and women were rarely more than background furniture. What a difference two decades make! Now, it is *men* who are often background furniture on most TV shows, and it's virtually impossible to find a show with a predominantly male cast, while shows with predominantly (or exclusively!) female casts are nearly the norm. And that is what makes "Beastmaster" a nice change of pace. Here is a syndicated action show centered around two male leads, in a glut of action shows with female leads (or, sometimes, *all* female casts!). In addition, I like the fact that Tao is more than the "useless sidekick" seen on many shows, and actually *brings* something to his partnership with Dar (e.g. knowledge, intelligence) in the very areas that Dar is sorely deficient.

Now, having sung "Beastmaster's" praises, it ain't all roses! More often than not, "Beastmaster's" episodes and action are flat and predictable, and this show is certainly not breaking any new ground.

But, just a couple of those scenes with The Ancient One and The Sorceress, or Tao and Dar (or virtually anything with Curupira!), and I'm pretty sold on this show.

However, who knows what will happen in season #2. Emilie De Ravin will almost certainly not be returning (her new role on "Roswell" looks steady, unlike her semi-recurring gig on "Beastmaster"), so Curupira will either be absent, or, worse, possibly recast (and I'd advise the producers *not* to recast: no Curupira is better than a recast Curupira!). And Dar's big mission (to free his enslaved love) is over now that she's dead.

So where will this show go next season? I'm not sure. But I'll probably be tuning in to find out.

And here's my other "Guilty Pleasure": "Cleopatra 2525". OK, I won't lie: I tuned into this show (at first) because I have a major thing for Cleopatra portrayer Jennifer Sky (indeed, I have since I first laid eyes on her on "General Hospital" playing a character that apparently only I liked!).

But "Cleo" is turning out to be surprisingly solid and well thought-out in the same way that "Charmed" is. (Hey! See the symmetry: "The Power of Three" and "A Powerful Three", "skimpy" casualwear vs. "skimpy" actionwear, three female leads vs... Oh, you get it!) The cast of Cleo, headlined by "Herc"/"Xena" veteran Gina Torres (another tall chick - I *love* it!) as Hel(en), and the where-did-she-come-from?! Canuck Victoria Pratt (all muscle and attitude) as kick-ass Sarge (aka. Rose), is also quite good (especially Torres). Sure, "Cleo" ain't 4th season "Homicide" (and what is?!), but this show ain't nearly as brain-dead as the premise, the skimpy outfits, and the 30-minute runtime would lead you to believe. Indeed, a couple of episodes have been surprisingly affecting, especially "Double" (Cleo's Betrayer "clone" shows up thinking that she's the real Cleo!) which actually had me a little choked up.

As syndicated action shows go (especially those only 30 minutes long!), I'd actually say that, based on its first 12 episodes, "Cleopatra 2525" may actually be the pick of the litter.

But, please, just don't tell anyone that I'm watching it!

JoAT is silly fun. I'm liking Bruce Campbell as Jack Styles (though, honestly, I think Campbell has done better in loads of other roles) and co-lead Angela Dotchin is effectively amusing as hyper, anal Brit spy Emilia. Sure this show goes for the lowbrow humor far too often. But, as often as not, it manages to be funny. In short, it's funny, in a silly, juvenile, brain-dead sort of way.

What more needs to be said?!

Let's cut to the chase: I, and every other male who watches this show, watches it for two reasons: action Hottie Jennifer O'Dell (with the best waist-hips combo on the planet!) as wild-child Veronica, and sophisticated Hottie Rachel Blakely (very hot!, but not doing the greatest job at faking an American accent) as Heiress/bitch Marguarite. OK, maybe three reasons, when you throw in that I like William Snow as Big Game Hunter Lord John Roxton (Marguarite's potential love interest) and Michael Sinelnikoff as old fuddy-duddy Prof. Summerlee.

Beyond these things, "The Lost World" doesn't have much going for it. Every episode is divided into two (usually totally unrelated) storylines, and both storylines are usually... well, boring. Sometimes, the show manages to come up with a good "A" storyline, or a good villain (the sentient lizard guys being a good example), but, frankly, that's rare.

This show did manage to come up with a pretty good cliffhanger (in this case, I mean that literally!), so I will be back at the start of season #2 to see how this all shakes out. But is "The Lost World" a "Must See" show for me? Not hardly... well, maybe just for Jennifer O'Dell's waist and hips. But *only* for that, I tell you!

The good news? After tanking in season #2, I think this show is slowly digging itself out of the whole it dug itself into last season. The bad news? It's still no where near as good as the show's first season.

This season, at least, some of the episodes have been decently solid, and I'm liking Jayne Heitmeyer's addition to the show. But the lead is still bland, Zo'or is still too obviously a villainous "mustache twirler", and the show is still nowhere near as compelling as in season #1.

In other words, if you took a walk from this show after season #1 (as I did), you may want to check back in on season #3. Just don't go in expecting any miracles...

This show is still plugging along with the same formula: Pamela Anderson headlines as Valerie Irons, the figurehead of a Hollywood bodyguard agency, which constantly gets her and her colleagues into loads of silly, self-deferential trouble. The problem? I'm finding that I'm just not enjoying it as much this season.

It's not so much that the show is less funny this season. I think it's just that I'm getting slightly weary of the formula. In addition, I'm starting to see a couple of other problems:

1. First problem? Cast bloat, and too much Val. A little of Pamela Anderson can go a long way, and it seems like she's the focal point of more episodes this season. In addition, adding Jonny Lo (Dustin Nguyen, finally landing a steady gig after years of guest work), has meant less screentime for some of the other cast members, notably Leah Lail's hacker-cuttie Kay (who just so happens to be my favorite on the show, so less of Kay doesn't make me happy). So, I'm not liking the shift in cast focus.
2. The "Nannization" of "VIP" (aka. "stunt casting"). There was less of this in season #1, but it's really gotten noticeable in season #2. One inevitable result of "stunt casting" is that it obligates the writers to shoehorn the guest-star-of-the-week into the action and, more often than not, this is done in a glaringly obvious and awkwardly way. So less stunt casting would actually *improve* "VIP".

Still, all in all, this is a show that is not meant to be taken seriously. As a silly-funny way to pass an hour on a weekend, "V.I.P." is not a bad way to do it. But even a show such as this can do its thing better. I'm starting to wish that the makers of "V.I.P." would put in a little bit of effort to make it better.

Remember at the top of this review how I said an "F" show is "a show you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy"? Well, "Baywatch Hawaii" is just such a show!

How bad is "Baywatch Hawaii"? Well, it's so bad that it makes the Pamela Anderson years of the original syndicated "Baywatch" look good! That takes some doing!!! Heck, not even Brooke Burns can get me to tune into this mess any longer!

So what are my specific gripes with "Baywatch Hawaii", especially in comparison to original "Baywatch". Well, it boils down to 2 things:

1. Writing? *What* writing?! The original "Baywatch" was always 'dialogue light'. "Baywatch Hawaii", on the other hand, is virtually 'dialogue free'! The increasingly large number of 'musical interludes', combined with the very few words actually uttered by the characters (and the number of *meaningful* words is basically nil!) renders the show virtually impotent. The good part about this is that this limits the damage the neophyte actors in the cast can do. The bad part about this is that it leaves us with characters the audience cares not a whit about!
2. An increasingly leering emphasis on titillation. OK, this has, to an extent, always been "Baywatch's" stock and trade. But the original "Baywatch" was never quite this crude about it. Sure, the original show had a high "jiggle factor", but at least it had *other* things on its mind (like, oh, saving lives, or at least dealing with an issue that wasn't sexuality specific). This is all out the door in "Baywatch Hawaii". The idea of performing rescues is so secondary as to be nearly irrelevant. And *all* these damn characters ever talk about now is sex, scoring, their personal lives, how physically attractive they are, and... oh, sex! But what really bugs me is the very leering, almost profane or obscene way they go about the titillation. It's crude. It's obvious. It's dehumanizing. And it's a big turn *off*.

So, in short, do yourself a favor: AVOID "Baywatch Hawaii", like the *Plague*!

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