Certain events come and go, like a shooting star illuminating critical moments briefly then disappearing.Since I have endured several instances of being stripped mentally in my life by the authorities, I don’t mind speaking somewhat about myself.
My artistic lineage goes back generations on both sides of my family, revealing early on my destined path to persue life through the strokes of a brush.
My great-grandfather was a talented artist and my parents began their relationship over and because of the Arts.
I was born 1949 in Berlin Germany, amidst the aftermath of destruction of the city and remember well the many inconveniences of the times. Berlin in ruins, ration cards, the shortage of currency and the lack of so much more, including furntiture.
Fate and circumstances brought us to Rahnsdorf a district of Berlin, where I spend most of my childhood in an intensely artistic atmosphere, with both of my parents being passionate artist’s.
At the age of eight, I entered my first work of art, A Linoleum cut in a art competition and exhibition, in which my father also participated. Even though I found the Topic “ Farmer’s Woman at Work” loathsome and overwehlming, my piece earned first place and offical recognition.
Soon after, I became the pupil of the well known Madame Hunzinger-Frank, A sculptor whom still does it to this very day.
I doubt that this extrodinary woman has any memory of me, I however shall never forget her; she destroyed one of my first well-sculpted clay creations with her deft hand. From that moment on, I was not required to work with the medium of clay again.
in the following years I contributed to my own education almost as much as I was being taught formally. For instance, I supplied all my classmates with our artistic assignments and educated them about the Human Anatomy as well. Not willfully, but because after all I was taught to paint and draw the human figure in Nude first before dressing.
In 1961 our existence began to change drastically, we felt watched at all times and the order of our lives was determined by the state.
Personal freedom receded deep into the background, now was a time to fall silent, to shut our mouths.
I had offers to paint and draw, but stayed stubborn and continuesly rejected the states concept of the arts as a portayal of workers and patriotic pioneers.
My mediocre mastery of the russian language further obstructed my artistic development and the career for which my father and Art teacher had championed so tirelessly for.
“If you are willing, you will be helped- if not you will be forced”
How often had I heard this sentence that made me sick.
Today I can say that I never fitted into the political landscape of the former East Germany. I was too old and stubborn to allow the state to bend me to its will.
We were told many times: Our wall will stand longer then the chinese Wall.
We settled behind the wall and developed the best possibilities of survival.
In my early twenties , I received a job offer in the arts, this time in the fashion industry. How well I remember finally setting out for a job befiiting my skills and qualifications, my heart filled with hope and my drawings in hand! While my scetches remained at the Institute, I did not.
Within Days some of my work was published in a fashion magazine, shortly after my sketches disappeared.
Many Insignifigant jobs followed, where I could of instead decorated the Alexanderplatz for a montly payment of 400 East Marks. I declined the offer.
In my late twenties I searched for a crack in the iron curtain, but before I could slip through I was caught. In an instant, all dreams and hopes were diminished to a number and my desire for a creative life.
My Imprisonment continued long after the sentence, I constantly tripped the controls imposed on all aspects of my existence.
The only way out seemed to flee the city and take refuge in Marriage. After three years of Marriage I received my planned child, an offical offer to persue a degree in Graphic Arts in Berlin I turned down.
The position as a member of the Cultural Affairs Committee stayed with me till the end of the GDR .
In 1986 I met the man, with whom I would turn my back on East Germany and leave for the netherlands in 87. Even my beloved Restoration work could not keep me in this hell.
In The Netherlands I dared to reawaken my dreams, but the lack of money and no working permit quikly put an end to them once again.
In 1991 I moved to the USA, but yet here as well my artistic career remained on hold by the lack of a work permit( the H-Visa)
Finally a few years ago I received the Green Card and with it the official permission to create and exhibit.
It turns out that I am not a shooting star after all, but through my strenth its now possible to present others, what I was not allowed all those years.
Restoration Work by Ilona, for a Church in Germany.
Painting dates 1700s.