10 Commitments of the Swim Parent

By David P. Hillgrove (hillgrovian@home.com)

1. Tardy DOES matter

Coaches are working with a LOT of children, all of whom have home schedules as hectic as ours. It’s very difficult to enforce discipline when instructions have to be repeated a few times, to latecomers. It’s hard to enforce consistent rules with inconsistent application thereof.
Besides, it IS embarrassing for your child (remember when we were young and late for practice?)

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE-SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
 

2. Suggests, Requests and Rules DO apply to us

When they say: “The area behind the blocks is for swimmers, timers and judges ONLY”, they do mean US. When they say “please don’t block the fire lane”, or “please don’t walk across the bulkhead”, they DO mean us.
It’s tough to fight the feeling that “it won’t matter if I do it just this one time”, but we must.

Either we control our attitude or it controls us.
 

3. Your child's results are NOT your child

If they do very, very well in the pool, they are still a child, our child. If they do very poorly, they need us more than ever. Their results do not always speak to whether they will succeed in collegiate studies, careers and/or long-term marriage travails. It’s a kid’s sport and kid’s times. They have plenty of time for growing up.

Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness.  It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
    Helen Keller (1880 - 1968)
 

4. Your child's results are NOT you, the Parent

Whether they are very mediocre or the best in the pool, we are still simply their parent. We aren’t given or denied extra team votes or special privileges.
They are still children and need our guidance. AND . . .  we can still learn from them.

Success is when us get what we want. Happiness is when we want what we get.
 

5. Coaches CAN separate the swimmer from the Parent

It may be hard to believe, but a good coach can keep the child’s needs distinct from the parent’s good or bad deeds. A coach can appreciate the efforts of the parent, yet see the child for what they truly are. Subsequently, they can like the swimmer and not appreciate the antics of the parent. But . . . don’t push your luck!

Don't forget that we are ultimately judged by what we give, not by what we get.
 

6. While underwater, our children cannot possibly smoke a cigarette

Without our commitment to our children, our children’s hectic schedule, and the team’s exhaustive meet schedule, our children could very well be “hanging out” with some unsavory, less-athletic, less-goal-oriented “friends”. Be grateful for where our kids are investing their time.

We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
 

7. Children don’t need to hear from Ma & Pa on every single event

Sometimes it’s better to BE than to TEACH. Sometimes Junior just needs to know we are here for them, not ALWAYS trying to get them to improve or break records.

It's not making a mistake that will kill us.  It's defending it that does the damage.
 

8. Be careful how and what we yell

Some folks scream all across the pool while their child’s head is submerged and 45 other folks are screaming as well. Sometimes the wrong encouragement is projected for all to hear. Sometimes not everything is better spoken aloud. Have our children ever been asked if they can hear us or want us to yell SO loud?

We are responsible for what we do, no matter how we  feel.
 

9. Show & expect mutual respect for other swim families

Time, patience and space are all premium for everyone at a swim meet. Treat the other families as if our actions are being recorded on videotape for everyone to see next week.
Be careful what you talk about at home. Act as if you can still sell your family parrot to the town gossip!

Laughter is to life what shock absorbers are to automobiles.  It won't take the potholes out of the road, but it sure makes the ride smoother.
 

10. There’s more than swimming to learn here

Don’t feel as if we have to walk our youngest to every line up and greet him at the finish line for every single heat. He or she can learn a lot by acting independently. No one is going to let him or her get lost and if they miss a heat . . . it’ll NEVER happen again. Your child will make sure of that! And they may be the best learning experience you child enjoys all month.

The distance a person goes is not as important as the direction.