It was Wednesday Lunch Special at a downtown eatery—Angelo’s—and that could only mean … discounted Italian Food, or was that Tuesdays? Either way, Helen Wade and Dorothy Lane were only looking for a place to have a salad and a conversation. They’d eaten here several times before, coming away with no ardent culinary memories.
Dorothy knew that it must be work that was troubling Helen, even though today’s "topic" hadn’t been explained in their phone call. And she knew that Helen could very easily turn bad things worse when she spends too much time inside of her own head. And so, Dorothy set about prying open her dear friend’s psyche.
Dorothy Lane, age 45. Formerly a hair stylist, grocery clerk, receptionist and/or teen queen, Dorothy had forged a reasonably successful real estate career. She has been sober for fourteen years, following six years of in-again-out-again alcoholic living. At one time, she claimed to have enough white A.A. "surrender chips" to play poker with. But something clicked somewhere along the line, and she’s been a model, sober citizen for almost fifteen years.
Dorothy has married twice. First one was to Chuck, and the only two good things from that time together were her two children, Brett and Erin. She and Chuck drank heavily together for years, just never in the same room at the same time. She left him the day after he hit her the first time. She’s only seen him in court on two occasions since.
She’s been married to a wonderful man named Larry Lane for ten years. They have two children together, and whether her non-drinking life helped her moods or her perspective, she is a much better Mom to all four children. She is living a life she never believed she was worthy of twenty years ago.
She has had seven sponsees since finishing her first year in recovery. Helen was her sixth. The first three failed to absorb the positive aspects of the program; one of them died drunk. The next two have held their sobriety together for seven and nine years respectively. She has been remained closest to Helen.
"Talk to me woman. You’re lower than I’ve seen you in months."
Helen faked a smile as she opened her menu and pretended to read. She knew Dorothy to be straight to the point.
"Work."
"Work what?"
"Work sucks".
"Why?"
"Oh, that twit McQuade is fiddling with the place again, only this time, it seems he’s on a whole new destructive binge."
"How so?" Dorothy’s role here was little more than asking the right questions.
"He claims to be restructuring our entire Comp Plans. And that can’t be good."
"Why not?"
"Because he’s got this idea that he’s gonna set up these teams." Helen paused here, because the very idea stung. Choosing teams for this little girl usually meant being left on the sidelines.
"Teams?"
"Yeah, teams, like for kick ball or something.
"He wants teams to work together on projects and he claims he’s gonna give them greater authority, greater autonomy and greater control. I’d like to believe him, but I always thought Newark was a great place to honeymoon, so what do I know?"
"You know plenty, girlfriend. Now go on. Tell me. Why does this look bad for you? Does it look bad for you?"
Helen sighed. She knew not how to answer.
"I don’t know. Probably. It’s just so damned wacky . . .
"Tell me about it," urged Dorothy.
"Well, for one thing, it’s unheard of. It’s untested. It’s brand new. Now that’s not altogether bad, but remember, this is Junior McQuade. He’s got Daddy’s blessing to trash this idea next week and try something else.
"So he says he’s gonna put together teams … made up of Project Managers. And these Project Managers choose their team members. And these team managers supposedly have more time, more authority, more decision-making power. And, we are being told that it will mean more money."
"That can’t be all bad," Dorothy pointed out.
"If it comes true," said a hesitant Helen.
"NO projecting now. That just gets you in trouble."
"I know. And I’m trying to stay in the present with this, but it’s so much like elementary school. It’s so much like choosing teams to play hide-and-seek, or kickball. And I just know I’m gonna be left behind to work on the dullest, the driest, the most boring accounts."
"Probably because you’re a worthless sack of feces, completely incapable of being anyone’s friend or effective in any way, career-wise".
Dorothy delivered the line with a hardened face and smiling eyes. She knew that Helen simply needed to get this matter off her chest so she could hear herself realize it’s not quite as bad as it seems. Having been through a dozen or so "crises" like this, Dorothy was prepared to prod, cajole and humor Helen through to a clear perspective.
She did, and Helen listened and shared more, and the clearer perspective emerged. Within the time they had for the rest of the lunch, Helen was willing to see that she had the skill and— given the right attitude—the right level of confidence to work on those glamour accounts she had set her sights on.
And Helen knew, that when she had her recovery program firmly in place, she was successful in solving any challenge that came her way.
As things changed at McQuade Concepts, Helen could change with them. A few years ago, a shaken confidence like she had endured this week would have pulled her down. And with that she would have self-medicated with a couple of shots or a beer or three. And with that, the world would have looked better for a few hours.
But when she awoke and sobered up, the problem would have remained, with her lack of confidence even more glaring.
So hammering it out with her sponsor was by far a more successful plan of attack.
Cheaper, too.
As they parted, Dorothy inquired about Helen’s preparation for her upcoming Speaker engagement and her anniversary meeting.
One more good reason why we can justify the successes of one marvelous recovery program.