For those of you who don't live in "The Banana Belt" of North Dakota,

Jeff Foxworthy performed at the Prairie Knights Casino (south of Mandan) .

Here is part of his act:

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because Grand Forks is the coldest spot in the nation,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",

.....you might live in North Dakota.

If you think a basketball team consists of twelve white boys,

.....you might live in North Dakota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March,

.....you might live in North Dakota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have apologized to a telemarketer,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have either a pet or a child named "Kirby",

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number,

.....you might live in North Dakota.

If you know how to say Bottineau, Burleigh, Monango and Wyndmere,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you grew up thinking rice was only for dessert,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy,

..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you can't enjoy your patio during the summer for fear that the mosquitoes will carry you away,

.....you might live in North Dakota.

Here are some others that I have collected, You know you're in North Dakota when:

you wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.

you can talk about a combine, and people don't wonder what you're putting together.

in the spring, every tenth vehicle you pass is a tractor.

someone mentions their manure spreader, and you know it isn't the local congressman.

the car in front of you is weaving, it's more likely to be an old farmer than a drunk.

you define summer as three bad months of sledding.

your definition of "small town" is one that has only one bar.

you have no problem spelling Wahpeton.

you can find almost as many Canadian coins in your pocket change as US coins.

people borrow things to you.

you expect to be excused from school or work for deer hunting and combining seasons.

you think of something other than the Bible when someone says "the great flood."

you drive to town during a blizzard just to see if the weatherman knew what he was talking about.

You know four seasons, winter, still winter, not winter, and almost winter.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over your snowmobile suit.

Your husband thinks lingerie is a flannel nightgown with only eight buttons.

even though the forecast calls for 60 mph winds, 3 feet of snow, with a 60¼ wind chill, the highway is full of people going to Fargo, Grand Forks, or Bismarck to shop and/or watch the high school basketball tourney.

You lie awake at night trying to think of uses for leafy spurge.

You assume everybody has seen the Northern lights and sundogs.

You think all cars come from the factory with block heaters.

You use the jumper cables in your truck several times each month.

Your favorite hors d'oervres are little weenies with barbecue sauce simmered in a crockpot.

It's okay to attend a formal affair wearing snow boots.

You think cold weather gear has to include schnapps.

After you discuss the weather, the conversation declines.

You understand "Yah, You betcha" means either 'I agree', or 'you're full of it', and you can tell the difference.

You can leave your keys in the car, and it's still there when you get back.

McDonalds will accept a personal check.

Your bumper jack can lift a combine, just in caseÉ.

The meat in your freezer is mostly deer and walleye.

Your snowmobile and boat payments add up to more than your car and truck payments.

You didn't know there was a Red River Valley in Texas

You used to be a Twins fan, but now you follow the Angels.

You think turn signals are a waste of time.

The band you choose for your wedding has to know rock, country, and polkas.

Young boys still get BB guns for Christmas.

Church + Grain Elevator + Bar = town. (Church is optional)

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