'Martin Up!
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| Minority Report!
Election 2004 winded down late Monday night ended with Paul Martin mandating a minority government. The NDP doubled 2000's success, and Stephen Harper's PCs were chewing nails with less than favorable results. During his acceptance speech, Martin responded to a question on how he would help out The Hawk, and he responded, "More trees, a Tim Horton's, and the release of 10,000 tame ducks off the Hawk Beach."
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Cupid's Spear! |
| Singer and hot-bod Britney Spears got engaged last week only six months after her marriage to Jason Alexander (no, not George Costanza). That marriage was annulled two days later, her lawyers contending that she "lacked understanding of her actions". Spears underwent knee surgery last week, and new fiance Kevin Federline admitted he lacked no understanding of the action that caused her bad knees. |
A Kentucky man faced with some serious charges pleaded insanity last week, and when the judge didn't buy it, the man mooned him. When the courtroom settled down, the judge sighed and addressed the man. "Sir, I know you're not insane, but I can see your nuts. |
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| June 29th, 2004 |
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| Country in the City! |
Three members of The Hawk and two other honorary Hawkers hit the city streets of Halifax Friday night, embracing the summer with a healthy dose of metropolitan culture. In the end, it was the big city that was taught several lessons: Remove the "No Hats" policy, remove Cape Islanders from the casino before they get drunk, and remove the roast beef buffet from the Friday menu. When asked what exactly happened on the pub crawl, Hawker Brandon Blades responded, "Mozzle, mozzle...good things."
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